I am really confused with this whole sex thing. I could write a novel describing exactly why I am so confused but I'll try to make this as short as I can.
My family is somewhat relgious and I spent a better part of my childhood going to Sunday School. I wouldn't consider myself extremely religious but I do base a lot of my moral decisions off my religious beliefs. Basically I was unintentionally taught (I wasn't directly told this but it was implied and I learned over time) that sex is basically dirty and disgusting and is a sin and you should only save it for marriage/ someone you love.
This is what I don't get: If sex is dirty and is sinful and all those bad evil things, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT TO SOMEONE YOU LOVE? Why would you want to do such an evil thing to someone you love? It doesn't make sense.
My head is about to explode because I just don't understand it. I'm literally afraid to do anything sexual related because of this. I need help I know.
2006-10-22 22:40:14 · 12 answers · asked by BKelly237 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
hmmm...to say that having sex is dirty and disgusting if not made during marriage is really an old belief.
it has been construed that sex outside marriage is dirty because it is NOT BLESSED BY GOD unlike sex during marriage. this saying is common where premature sex is considered to be a taboo.
religious people who are strict in the belief that sex is meant only inside of marriage NEVER had the chance that sex can be satisfying and beautiful, especially when done with somebody you really love.
its just that with modern times, a lot of people have sex even without love, just to satisfy lust, which is really sad.
2006-10-22 22:42:05 · answer #1 · answered by Busy Diyosa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grew up in much the same atmosphere as you did. It truly made most of my life difficult - for all of the reasons you listed.
You have come a long way in realising and accepting that the notion that sex is 'dirty' is ridiculous.
The next thing you should start doing is appreciating how natural, beautiful and normal sex is. I know this might sound terrible, but even delving into a little 'light porn' is a good way of treating your condition.
The problem with the belief that 'sex is dirty', is that it creates massive wells of unfulfilled desire within individuals. But because they shy away from natural sexual expression, they revert to some seriously inappropriate behaviour. You are quite right to start thinking about rectifying your mind around the whole idea of sex.
Take the catholic church for example, and I hate tarring a whole group of people with one brush, but it is widely documented and has been openly admitted that in years past, when priests were denied the right of marriage, so many sexual atrocities were carried out behind closed church doors. The crimes that were commited because sex was 'dirty' and 'ungodly' created such psychotically criminal acts of perversion - it would be inappropriate here to relay all of the facts.
In a nutshell, you have started to see the light surrounding the reality of your problem. Your next step needs to be releasing yourself from the restraints of that mindset. And lastly, you need to distance your beliefs from the beliefs of those who taught you these things. You will begin to know freedom and happiness.
Take it from someone who has been where you are now. You only get one life! Enjoy it as you were born to.
All the best!
2006-10-22 23:07:40 · answer #2 · answered by quay_grl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see everyone who has answered so far is spewing the same old Anti-Christian bias that I see so much of on here. "Religion is the cause of all of man's problems. Especially Christianity. All it does is kill people and cause them to be warped sexually, blah, blah, blah....."
SOME sects may believe that sex is dirty but no Christian I know (yes I'm evangelical) believes or teaches that sex is too nasty to engage in. And WHY would you save something that dirty and nasty for someone you love? I've never heard it in church, or Sunday School, or anywhere else that I've heard Christians speaking. In fact, I would imagine, that members of evangelical churches have the same range of attitudes toward sexuality that the general public has--some love it, some can take it or leave it, some hate it, and some are REALLY SCREWED UP!
But, I want to state emphatically, that neither Christianity nor the Bible teach that sex is evil. Sex was not the original sin, rebellion against God was. Sex is not nasty and it is not to be avoided at all costs. God WANTS people to have an enjoyable and satisfying sex life. After all, think about this now, God MADE SEX and gave it to humans so they could have the pleasure and incredible bonding experience that sex provides. Why do you think that he made humans with genitals? So He could then turn around and tell them that they were evil parts of the their anatomy? NO, certainly not!
What He did design sex for was to be and extremely important and powerful bond between two people who were committed for life to each other and their family. Sex isn't just an activity! It's an incredible, powerful, beautiful, pleasurable, enduring bond that literally makes two seperate human beings feel like ONE! Just as (gasp) God intended!!!
He never intended it to be another form of recreation, or an act of violence, or a way of manipulating, demeaning, or controlling another person! It's not a casual form of entertainment. It IS and SHOULD BE the most important way that two people have to know another person with intimacy, love, passion, tenderness, and deep concern for their chosen one. WHO CAN BEAT THAT?
It's NOT God who has turned it into a casual, empty, heartless, uncaring, dehumanized, degraded shadow of itself. It's people who think sex is something you do with someone you meet at the bar or at work, "hump" a few times and then dump the person like he's yesterday's garbage. It's people who "shack up" with one "true love" after another and call it "having relationships". It's people who say "marriage is just a piece of paper"! Nonsense!!! Marriage is the most intimate, challenging, intense, loving, enduring, dependent, liberating, and SAFE relationship ever devised by God. And He gave it to US so we could build a lifetime relationship that will withstand the storms of the world. That is if we do it God's way. And if we find ourselves dashed to pieces with sorrow and heartache because we've lost another "love" we thought would last--well, it's not because God wanted it that way. It's because we ignored God and thought His way was foolishness.
2006-10-22 23:45:42 · answer #3 · answered by Ellen J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you need help .... go get laid ... that will help .... sex is a natural part of life ... without it we don't reproduce and as a species we'd become extinct.
It's not sinful ... it's not wrong ... although there are perversions and extremes that aren't always socially or morally acceptable .... but generally go with the flow and if it feels good do it .... (how many other cliches do you think I can work in here?) .... as for you head exploding ... go find a nice quiet corner a girlie magazine and a jar of vaseline .... that should take care of that exploding head
2006-10-22 22:45:58 · answer #4 · answered by deadkelly_1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dint think the act of sexual intercourse is itself dirty, but self gratification and self satisfaction in all things is what you must be wary of. Even if you do sometimes lose "it" and feel guilty, God has given you a way out , thru repentance. (Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us). I believe Gods kind and loving (unconditionally) and thru sending his son Jesus , he knows life on earth is difficult and full of temptation. Above all you have 1) Will, 2) Choice and 3) Inner Wisdom, use these tools to help you make the right decision. When you find the right person , time etc and have sex, or make love, I think is a better term, give thanks to God for all you have and cherish the moment. Good luck
2006-10-22 23:35:53 · answer #5 · answered by monsieurcamembertaubergine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went to a Catholic school in high school for a year & we were taught all that too. I have always wondered the same thing too. I just resolved it in my head that sex isn't disgusting & dirty but fun & exciting. Now I don't think about it really.
2006-10-22 23:09:40 · answer #6 · answered by shirazzza 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im gonna answer a whole otta queistons with this one answer for u buddy, i grew up christian, now i have no religion,m i just beleive in God, god has shown me the truth, religion is MAN MADE, & all it does is seperate people, now, as for sex, why would God give us penises & vaginas, & make us have such strong urges if he didnt want us to have sex, its just you have been force fed this false information from the beginning so it is like your mind knows no other way to think about sex but in a b ad way, saving sex for marriage, only 1 person, are u serious, NO ONE does that, its not natural, religion is MAN MADE, & n e thing man made is tainted, only God is the truth, & God gave u a dick bro, lol
2006-10-22 22:45:25 · answer #7 · answered by Abuv Your Head But U Cant See Me 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is mentioned in the Koran " Who make the spurt of sperm?" It is like sex is an invention that Allah is proud of. Sex in Islam is not dirty, but outside marriage is a sin. Anal sex is a sin, rather a big sin. So Homosexual is a big sin. Muslim is even encouraged to have sex in the Friday night (the night before Friday). Talking about your sex activity to others is sin, should be kept secret. Masturbation is not a sin but do not tell others. Wife in period masturbation the husband is not a sin. If one sex need is full-filled it makes it less liable to do evil in sex. It the correctness of the religion of Islam. Why not convert to Islam so that you will enjoy sex better, can have more than one wife, if you highly sexed person and have money to support 2 wives. My friend have 3 wives all live in one big house. He is a manager of a big company, a millionaire. All his wives were working for him before.
2016-05-22 00:39:14 · answer #8 · answered by Ethel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the main reason parents tell their children these things is because they don't want to see their children getting messed up with sex, and pregnancy at a young age, when we get older we realize that sex isn't dirty and sinful. because if it was nobody would be doing it , thus ending life on this planet
2006-10-22 22:44:55 · answer #9 · answered by jester9236 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sex is a natural part of life....religion that's the confusion every religion has its beliefs about sex but sex is a carnal instinct its what keeps the human race alive and kicking. also sex can also be a way of showing your spouse that you love them with every part of your body (heat, mind, and soul included), its just natural is all you shouldn't feel dirty or anything.....that's life
2006-10-22 22:47:55 · answer #10 · answered by BassPlayerCrawl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋