my bf and i was just..what they called "friends with benefits", his real gf was outside US. they broke up because the girl knew our relationship. he was so depressed when his gf broke with him...suddenly he wanted to have child with me. now we have our beautiful son..but were not married yet. i wonder how'd did i be so blinded being a subtitute. i'm so confused now, i love him but i'm not secure in our set up...pls. help. i need advices......
2006-10-22 21:32:56 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The only person who can offer you the answer to that question is your b/f. Ask him to be totally honest and tell him that you feel insecure. Be prepared to hear both good and bad though, when you ask for honesty sometimes you won't get the answer you really want to hear.
2006-10-22 23:06:39 · answer #1 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's difficult when you love someone and you're unsure if they love you the same way. That sucks.
But keep in mind that many of these answers on yahoo are very
"Black and White," and life just isn't like that.
I'm in NO way advocating cheating -- it's a weak response from a weak person. But I am telling you that cheating is not always the essense of a person.
IF you are the type of person who can put the past in the past, you and the father of your child might sit down and communicate a little about future plans. This "set up" should be part your doing also.
He wanted you to have his baby -- so did he want to marry you also? And what did you say to this? Did you want to marry him? Did you voice your opinions?? If you didn't stand up for what you thought, it may be late in some ways to do that now -- but you can try.
I find that when all else has failed -- resort to the truth (which should have been there in the first place.)
In the meantime, concentrate of being the best mother you can be -- the best person you can be -- and focus on some hobbies that might take your mind off this matter at least sometimes. Sometimes moving away from a situation- just a little -- can make it clearer.
Remember, this is not black and white -- cheat and you leave. No. not necessarily. Of course, you can do that -- but it doesn't have to be that way. Life is too complex to sum up in a paragraph. Nobody here knows what your life is really like with this man -- or how he treats you and your son. Only YOU KNOW. Go with the sum of the parts. (:
2006-10-23 05:08:08 · answer #2 · answered by Tinkerbell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Focus on your son and raising him well. As far as this dude he is the father of your child. He is either going to be with you and help you or he'll move on most likely keeping you on the side but I don't know for sure. Stop focusing on the past. What is done is done and the most important aspect in all of this is your son. I suggest putting you time, energy and love into your little boy because frankly the men are not worth the time or the heartache. Good luck!
2006-10-23 04:44:15 · answer #3 · answered by heatherlynnmorrow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy that is a mess. Have you considered talking to him about what your feeling and ask him about his for this other girl. How do you know she didn't find her someone else and that's the real reason she broke it off with him. I think you need to talk with him and find out up front where you stand in his life. Plus if he is still talking about this other girl listen to what he says and how he says it. You can probably figure out for yourself if his still has feelings for her, even if he tells you he loves you and wants to get married. Don't marry him if you have any doubts of his feelings for you and don't do it because of your son. You need to be number one with someone that loves you and not always feel like your second to an ex. You desever to be happy 100% too
2006-10-23 05:16:01 · answer #4 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he was with you while he was commited to somebody else. Do you really want to be with him knowing he could easily do the same to you? Do you want to become like the former gf? I thought not. Anyways, if you love him but don't trust him, what kind of love is that? Get out of there. NOW!
2006-10-23 04:38:15 · answer #5 · answered by Stephanie B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you don't have to worry about the ex girlfriend.
She has finished with him because of you.
That will never change.
You now have a chance to find out if your relationship will last.
When the two of you talk about marriage or the future you must remind your guy that you have been with him all along because you love him.
2006-10-23 04:41:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, what you need is a backbone. You deserve a real relationship. A man who have chosen you because he loves you. Not because you're easy an available. Get out today. Make sure he takes responsiblity for his son.You need a self esteem makeover. I hope you get it.
2006-10-23 04:43:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't be with him then. You shouldn't be with someone whose just substituting you for someonelse. Be with someone who wants to be with you and only you. You shouldn't let yourself or and your son go throught that, because your son might think that's what he's suppose to do in a relationship.
2006-10-23 05:00:42 · answer #8 · answered by delawaregirl83 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well.........hon you cheated with him. You LET him be your friend with benifits. Why do you expect more?
You are in an insecure spot because YOU let yourself get there.
Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to be with them. Time for you get get your own life and NOT depend on a guy for your self value.
IF HE CHEATED WITH YOU HE MIGHT CHEAT ON YOU
2006-10-23 04:44:32 · answer #9 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for the sake of your sons future. you have to be with him only.
2006-10-23 04:37:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋