how do i convince my son to learn?

Question

i have a six year old boy, and he has been offered a place to begin training for football with our local team. At first he seemed happy to do it, but, now, as its today, hes told me he doesnt want to go, because he feels shy.I told him everyone feels this way when they learn something new.He does know most of the people there as this is a small village,but i also have a problem convincing him to learn other things, such as taikwondo, simply because he's worried about not knowing what to do. I dont want to force him, but he has to learn something else other than pc games. Any advice?

simon, i dont know what you mean by 'teaching him sports other kids know nothing about'.I live in the uk,and football , or 'soccer', is our most popular sport, and a lot of his friends do taikwondo, a form of martial arts, so im hardly making him an outcast.The point is i WANT him to get involved in someting active, not do constrution, lego, paint,play on the pc, which is what he does anyway when he's playing indoors.I really dont mind on which activity he does, i also suggested extra swimming, which was a no go! I think he just has a fear of the unknown.

i did wonder about that kim, not the adhd, but being gifted, as he is very smart, and above average in everthing he does. I just want him to be healthy and active.He loves to ride his bike, so i might see if the bmx track sparks some entusiasm!!
thanks everyone!

Answer 1

this behavior is normal for gifted children and children with ADD/ADHD
if your child is either of these, his needs will be a little different.
if he is not, he is probably just shy- help him along by getting involved in something with him- like cub scouts

remember also...he is 6...he has plenty of time to get into sports later if he likes...as long as he is involved in something extracurricular, why not just let him choose what it is,eh?

Answer 2

Hmmm... perhaps we're missing the point here. The only way to really engage kids with any activity is to 'inspire' them. Every kid loves a hero, and for a reason - they fuel their imagination, they make them want to be that person. In short - they inspire them. Ask any kid what they want to be when they grow up, and more often than not they'll reply with something that inspires them.

OK I have no kids of my own, but like us all I once was a kid myself.

My father is a sports-fanatic, but neither me nor my three brothers had any real interest in sport, so he didn't force it on us. We were all quite strong creatively, so my parents encouraged us to develop those skills instead. We all now work in various creative industries, but as it happens we also developed an interest in sports as adults.

I just don't think you can force any activity on a child. Find out what inspires them and allow them to find their own path.

Answer 3

It is good for their confidence if they take up sport etc and keeps them occupied as they grow older on that aspect would agree you encouraging him to do something from an early age, but 6yrs old is still too young but tactfully can be done, take him down to the clubs and let him see for himself and mix with the others first and while making friends with the others he might change his mind. You are doing the right thing with him but sometimes forcing the issue makes it worse and they rebel no matter age.

Answer 4

Yep! Bribe him

And might I suggest a suitable bribe would be he gets to play games on the PC. If he goes to football he can use the PC for the rest of the week: if he doesn't go, he cant play on the PC.

One word of caution, if you do offer him a bribe like this, you have to stick to the deal. No going back

Once he has been a couple of times, no more bribes. By then he either wants to go or he doesn't and if he doesn't want to go, don't force him.

Answer 5

Well I would first find out if this was the true reason.
As for teaching him games that the other kids know nothing about, well that will make him an outcast.
Buy him a construction kit and see what he does.
If he handles that OK you know he has the ability but not the desire.
I guess then you have to accept the fact that he has his own wants and needs?

Answer 6

have a chat with team manager and ask him to help you i am a manager of an u 12's team and have new kids turn up only for them to be shy get the manager to talk 2 your son on a one 2 one basis and let him ask WATS wrong u might be surprised as i have done this to others and now they are playing in my team, another thing 2 try from the manager is get the rest of the team to set him up so he scores goals in training and set a reward if he scores? u r also involved in this maybe u help run the team do they need extra parents helping if you r there it will give your son more confidence same with other tings you want him to do
the manager MUST get eye to eye level with your son and not be standing up as this will intimidate your son hope this helps best of luck

Answer 7

Bribery. By the way, my one son and one daughter always reject anything new. I make them, bribe them, encourage them but in the end, just accept they lack the killer instinct.
But they're well grounded, have done most sports, ballet, tennis lessons, swimming, horse riding etc etc. And I do make them do it for a year.
My kids hate being organised and love just "hanging". My other two love it.

Answer 8

He may not like sports which involve a lot of people or the sports you mention i have been a bodybuilder for years and also used to do karate but my kids hate it.Try him with something one to one like tennis,squash or badminton he may like them instead ? good luck

Answer 9

Bribe him! Tell him that if he goes to say 2 training classes, then you will buy him something he really wants. That way when he goes, he will realise there is nothing for him to be worried about & next time he may not be so worried about it.

Answer 10

Bribery is a good answer! He needs to go through this sort of experience in life.