so what should you do if your in an affair but your not the one cheating.. and the other person doesnt want to get out of the chaos that they have already started.. plus you see that person spouces all the time.. whats there to do..
2006-10-22 19:45:42 · 9 answers · asked by whataboutfumunda 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you knew this person was married in the first place so that was your mistake. question for you why are you in a relationship with a married person? That person has a family to take care of. do you honestly think you are going to be first in this person life? if this person leaves the marriage or when the other person finds out about you do you think that you and this person is going to live happily ever after? I don't think so. there will be no turst in your relationship in the first place. do you think this person will be faithful to you? leave the relationship is the best thing for you to do. why destory a family. 90% of the time they don't leave their family for the other person and what do you get out of this relationship. don't you desereve to have somone to treat you right and be there for you when you need the person or maybe you like to be the other person in this person life. wait around trying find time for each other, sneaking around and when he through with you the person is going right back to their family. If this person really cares for you then that person would leave their spouse for you before getting in a relationship with you and if you really care about yourself you would have told this person that you don't get in relaionships with married people. This person just want to have his or her cake and eat it too and you are letting this happen. i'm not trying to be mean i'm just being honest. Do youself a favor and find someone single that will treat you right. you deserve better then this unless you like to be on call when the person can see you on their time.
2006-10-23 02:45:21 · answer #1 · answered by olive_olive_72 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What makes you think you're not cheating? There's more than 1 way to lie, you know. There's telling outright falsehoods and there's telling the truth but not the whole truth, and we take an oath in court not to do those two. But there's also telling the truth in such an unconvincing way that folks end up believing something untrue, and there's even simply not bothering to correct other people's mistaken beliefs about you.
Twenty years ago I went through all that, and you should know the "other person" is getting off on all that chaos, is outright smug about being that daring and getting away with it (for a while). But several people are going to get hurt, including the spouse and you. If you don't like the melodrama, if the pain isn't part of your own necessary trials and tribulations, play somewhere else. The best possible outcome is you all grow up and become better people, and maybe you'll look back and say "I couldn't have learned that any other way" and so forgive yourself. There are other outcomes that are worse. Just watch the soaps for a day or two.
Bottom line, what does your own sense of integrity tell you to do?
2006-10-23 03:01:39 · answer #2 · answered by Philo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was exactly in the same position until my husband sensed that something was going on between me and the other guy but had no proof. We were all friends before. Now, he doesn't want this friendship anymore an He banned me from attending all social functions that my lover's attending and that stopped me from seeing my lover's spouse.
Believe me, it is very painful to go through but even more so, if there are children involved. For their sakes, i moved on and stop contacting the guy. Doesn 't mean i am happy but sometimes, obligation and commitment just call for the most practical solution. If i were you, I would quit this social circle and start anew. There's no better way to come clean then let time and space heal your hurt. Its unbearable but you have to stick it out for the kids sake. If you have no kids, then opt out and decide which one you love more...Good luck!
2006-10-23 03:17:59 · answer #3 · answered by angelheart 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you just found out the other person, is in fact cheating I'd bring it to there attention. Than it's up to you, the other person did the cheating but, are you going to let it pass? If your out for a little freebee and than say something, your just as guilty. Remember you have to face that other person all the time. How high are your morals?
2006-10-23 04:50:34 · answer #4 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you're just as wrong as the "cheater" is. You're part of the affair, and part of the problem.
Think of everything you and your partner could lose if news of the affair got out (kids, spouse, job, reputation). My family was torn apart when my father left us for a cheap wh*re he worked with, so I know first hand how awful things can get.
And keep in mind: If he's cheating with you, he'll soon be cheating on you.
2006-10-23 03:00:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
its probably worse if the other is married and your not..but you are still cheating.
even though you love them, even if they love you. somehow you gotta get out of it and go on. they will most likely never leave their spouse and your just going to hurt forever.
people screw around with their friends spouses all the time, its a known fact. just stay away from all of them the best you can. learn from this and never do it again
2006-10-23 03:08:51 · answer #6 · answered by rhonda3826 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you're seeing a married person, you're getting their leftover time. Find someone who will put you first.
2006-10-23 03:12:17 · answer #7 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is the first time I have read so many excellent, caring, sincerely helpful answers to ANY question since I came to this site. I would only say that you have already been given several best ans. wow!! integrity isn't dead. thanks all...Rat
2006-10-23 03:23:30 · answer #8 · answered by Raptor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop that cycle now it will only be waiting for you when you are in love with someone and they are only in lust and need more lust to feed them
2006-10-23 03:12:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋