Was my girlfriend raped and if so why wont she talk about it?

Question

ok all,

I got these nasty messages from my girlfriends ex this morning saying the following.

1) im gonna finish what I started, your baby with legs so soft, lips so red and great brown eyes, she wanted to play all night and I loved seeing her cry with pain

2) you wanna talk to--------- well ok, im letting her go home now, she didn't want it but I did it anyway, so great when you see them cry and beg to for me to stop aint it? and

3) oh dont worry, I didn't hurt her too bad, not as bad as I wanted to anyway.

I think she was though my concern is why wont she tell me that she was raped and what am I able to do in order to show that I care, I already emailed her and said that I'm here for her no matter what and that I know what happened...

so why wont she just say that she was raped and also how can I help her in this???

SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY!

Mitch

she only went to get her handbag and didn't want to stay there.

no it wasnt consencial, she even emailed me and said that he hurt her bad! I got the messages on my mobile.......

her handbag was there because he got out from jail last week and wanted to see her, which was fine until he started scaring her so she just LEFT without anything besides her wallet and car keys which is fair to me, i have the email from her to proove what happened though I deleted the msgs off my phone cause I never want to see them again but I hope she left them on hers.

Answer 1

Call the cops on his dirty behind. It's understandable that she doesnt want to talk about it because I'm a woman also and she is most likely in a very vulnerable state and probally doesn't know who to trust BUT it doesn't mean she doesn't want help. So, you take whatever evidence you can gather and put his *** in jail. Once you take an initiative like that (while consoling her at the same time) she will love you like she's never loved a man before simply for your caring actions that she would see you're willing to take for her. Even if you think she's being distant please don't take it personal--take care of her regardless, women love to feel protected and at this stage she probally feels like crap so take care of her if you truely love her. wish you the best.

Answer 2

You've started the best way there is.

Women who have been raped by an ex-boyfriend quite often see it as their fault. Why was she over there in the first place? What business did she have with him that even put her in his path? Did she choose to be there or was she forced/co-erced? These are all questions she knows you'll be asking her and yourself.

The best you can do is what you already have. She knows that you know (or at least suspect). You've told her that you're there for her, no matter what. Now show her. Don't push her too hard. Let her come to you when she's ready. Let her know that if she won't talk to you, maybe you can help her talk to someone else. Give her your love however she'll let you and just be with her until she's ready to talk about it.

Oh, and for future prosecution dealings, make sure you save the notes from your question. If/when she's ready to deal with this and if/when she's ready to prosecute, every little bit to put the bastard in jail helps.

Good luck. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Answer 3

If that did happen to her, she will be extremely sensitive about it. Most rape victims believe that they did something wrong, are too embarressed to tell anyone, or are scared of what will happen if they do tell someone.

I would suggest letting the police know about the messages you recieved, and to keep the messages in your phone as evidence. If this happened, this man commited a horrible crime and something needs to be done about it. She may not be his only victim, and if she does not come forward, who's another girl will. Most rapes go unaccounted for because of this fear to tell anyone what happened.

Answer 4

Mitch, you need to tell someone NOW. Whether it be an adult like a parent or the police. You need to let someone know, and fast. Those threatening messages not only lead to fear of what could be, it's illegal. Harrassment and stalking is illegal, not to mention rape. Something this serious needs action to be taken IMMEDIATELY. TELL SOMEONE IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY AND FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED/ IS HAPPENING AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

Answer 5

The reason why I think she isnt saying anything is because maybe they guy that might have done it to her threatened her. O rmaybe she doesnt want to talk about it. I mean..if I was raped I wouldnt even be able to talk about it because its such a difficult thing to talk about. No one really wants to re-live a rape by saying what happened. But if she did, indeed get raped by that guy .....then you should totally tell the police. That s--t is messed up.

Answer 6

1. Why was her handbag there? 2. Did this person actually E-mail you with the above if so, talk to a police officer and show him (them ) the E-mail so they can question this person and get this girl some help ASAP. If it really happened that is????

Answer 7

You need to tell her if something happened that was against her will she needs to get the police involved ASAP to preserve the evidence. Either something happened as you suspect OR it is remotely possible that she decided to have one last fling with him ..which she feels guilty about..Why was she anywhere near him? If you have the threats in an e-mail or recording that could be used against him if she decides to pursue this..

Answer 8

She most likely won't discuss it with you because you seem to tell total strangers all of your sensitive and personal issues. If she was raped, it could affect her emotionally and physically for the rest of her life. She may need professional help or someone she could turn to in confidence and support. Apparently, its not you, no matter how good your intentions are.

Answer 9

Well:

1) He could just be yabking your chain to anger you and there isn't anything to tell.

2) She could feel ashamed and doesn't want to discuss it.

3) They did have sex, but it was consensual.

4) If there really was a rape (can't say either way) he just sent you a confession.

Answer 10

If she was raped, she may be in denial or she may feel that it was somehow her fault. I definetly think that you should turn the email over to the police, even if nothing happened, it's a threat to her safety.