Is this poem good?any suggestions?

Question

NEVER DRY!
let your tears never dry
oh yes...weap and cry
you stole the moon from my sky
you stole the sparkle of my eye

now you came to apologize
sorry my birds forgot your skys
stay in dark but my sun will rise
and again try to throw the better dice

you who made my world fall
you with selfish leaving call
now in my ground is the ball
i'll never forgive ,live with tortured soul

it doesn't worth ,i won't give it a try
let your tears along the way never dry
let your soul for good never satisfy
at the end ,so long farewell and goodbye

Answer 1

Hi Going, I like it... you have a very good flow.but you might want to change a couple of words to something else.like in throw the better dice.change dice to something else.there's, i'll never forgive,live with a tortured soul.change live to life.i'll never forgive,life with a tortured soul.there's, it doesn't worth,i won't give it a try.change doesn't to not. it's not worth,i won't give it a try.that's the way i would write it. take a look and see what you think. a friend.

Clowmy

Answer 2

try to rhyme with more intense words than the 3-4 letter words you are using, and add more interesting words throughout. it is a good start though. try using a thesaurus for suggestions. keep working at it!

the content is relatable for everyone, which makes it more interesting to read- in my opinion.

emo... my a$$....

Answer 3

the work is alright perhaps a better layout something that is just a little more discreet at the emotion your trying to convey

Answer 4

It conveys a lot of hurt and anger, so yes, it's good since it conveyed the emotion you wanted it to.

Answer 5

Kinda emo dont ya think?

That aside its pretty good. it has a good flow

Answer 6

it is pretty good- job well done