I'm in love with my current boyfriend but knowing that the relationship won't last for long as he might be continuing his studies back in Iran and to undergo an eye surgery. There's little chances of "us" working out. In the mean time, my ex has suddenly fallen back in love with me and proposed to go long term, and maybe marriage is in the cards too. We've been through many good and bad times together and we know we can count on each other for anything. We broke up due to a trust problem I have with him. But we kept the friendship and the breakup was amicable. I stayed single for over a year and he didn't attempt to get back with me. Only now when I have someone new, my ex thinks he's trying to protect me from bad guys and said that he fell in love with me again. He's trying to show me he changed. But i told him that I don't feel it for him or am not into him anymore. He said he'd wait as long as it takes to get me back coz' he loves me. Did he feel that he was indebted to me or what?
2006-10-22 19:30:42 · 17 answers · asked by debrakhoo 2 in Social Science ➔ Other - Social Science
If you are in love with your current boyfriend - maybe you two can find a way to make it work. I wouldn't go back to the old boyfriend on the rebound from this relationship ending. That can never be good. I think you should keep your ex as a friend, at least until you and your current boyfriend do split and you have had time to recover from that. If the ex really is being honest then he will understand and wait for you to be ready. If you had trust issues with the ex before - you would want to be sure that those are resolved as well before you could really consider a future with him. At least, that's what I would do. Good luck.
2006-10-22 19:42:53 · answer #1 · answered by Shadowtwinchaos 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see the attraction of settling down with somebody but if there is a trust issue remaining where life is all about trust, loyalty respect and love is this really on the cards!
You were highly responsible when you said it was your trust issue, is it a real or imagined issue ? And you sort of implied "reading between the lines" that you broke up with him.
Its interesting you also say "we can count on each other for anything", this implies great trust !
People say something and then do anything to justify it just to be right, could that be you ? Sometime people put being right before their own self interest, a sort of self destructive tendancy. Not saying this is you, just something to think about.
So probably given you more questions than answers on that part of the question.
However there is a saying:
"Questions are the answer"
As for your current boyfriend it sounds as if you love being with him and love him, but you have never really thought of him as more than fun. Which is cool.
You could stay with him, but what you have said in this question sort of confirms that it a fun non serious relationship for me, but truly only you know the answer!
What however is missing for me is that you have not decided what you want. In order to fully commit to one of these guys you have to redecide the qualities you want in a guy and then either commit fully to one of these guys or look to find somebody new.
Currently you are not fully committed so how do you expect them to be!
Good luck and take care.
2006-10-22 20:48:49 · answer #2 · answered by lifeontrack2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything in a hurry! If you love your current boyfriend, is there no way you could stay together? Wouls you consider moving to Iran with him, or persuade him to saty here and study?
You say it was a trust issue that caused you and your ex to split, will you ever be able to rebuild that trust? He just seems to want what he can no longer have. While you were single, he had no competition , but hes threatened by your new man and wants me to be the one and only in your life again. The question you have to ask yourself is for how long?
No-one can tell you what to do, but I woudl advise you not to throw in the towel with your current one and tell your ex that you don't want a relationship with him anymore.
2006-10-22 20:28:03 · answer #3 · answered by Browneyes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your current trend is to marry an Iranian fine, but remember the rules.
Once doing so it is impossible for you to have control over your children should he abscond with them at some later date.
If you decide to live in Iran be careful because it is politically difficult for the majority who appear to want more freedom?
Your ex sounds like a dog with a bone.
He doesn't want it until its taken away?
You do have a problem, but as you know a problem is another word for a lack of decision.
It's make your mind up time.
Good luck,
2006-10-22 20:10:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said that you broke up because of a trust issue you have with him,has that changed? You also say the feeling isnt mutual,that doesnt sound so good.
2006-10-22 19:41:26 · answer #5 · answered by leonidas3ca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont do it honey!!! you broke up 4 a reason, a good reason, trust is the foundation of a relationship,if there isn;t any then it wont work. be strong and keep eachother as friends
2006-10-23 12:22:39 · answer #6 · answered by jacqueline 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he values your friendship and thinks your moral needs boosting and guilt about the trust thing suggest you keep it amicable again who knows focus on what you need to do
2006-10-24 12:46:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well seems ur a player,,, u say u love ur boyfreind, but ur seeing ur ex and thinking about getting back with him as soon as the other one has gone,,
Your no good, so hope they both **** on you .. what goes around comes around....
2006-10-22 21:27:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
just stay Ur friendship w/ Ur ex, you still have your current boyfriend,you love him,keep in touch w/ him.
your ex can wait,if you are really mean for @ader, time will tell.
2006-10-22 19:39:46 · answer #9 · answered by plinky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once the trust is gone, it's gone.
If you can't trust him once, you shouldn't do it again.
Keep looking. Plenty of fish in the sea.
2006-10-22 19:39:23 · answer #10 · answered by Mac Momma 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋