Babys daddy drama! What do I do?

Question

I've been with my babys father for the past year and a few months. I recently gave birth to our son. Our whole relationship has been rocky from jump. He has abusedme physically and emotionally, used me, cheated etc. We've had our good times as well. In january of this year I finally called the police on him and he was lokced up til June. He hasnt cheated but has become a complete asshole..Im a ***** everyday, if I do something wrong or not( which I dont) A few days ago we got into a fight, a real fight to where I was woopin his *** too. I dont want it to start back up. My son doesnt need that around him. His father did the same to his mother and I see a cycle! The thing is, there is something mentally wrong with him. Sometimes he'll makestuff up just to get mad. When he gets mad he goes into this rage that he cannot control. I love him to death but I dont know if I should stay or go. I was thinking if he got anger management n therapy it might be worth a shot to save our family. Help

Answer 1

The most important thing in your life has to be your child! and then, you! This is not at all a healthy enviroment to raise a child. The outcome it has on your child is going to be more than you could ever imagine. Children who are exposed to there fathers violence directed at there mothers are traumatised. The reason this children are traumatised is because they feel betrayed as the perpertrator and the victem of violence are their mother and father who are supposed to provide security and stability. You and your partner are the role models of your child for learning and emotional skills.
Next.. I understand that your partner has a mental problem. Can he seek help? Councelling, medication???If so fantastic. You will both benefit from this, and i think if your relationship is going to last this step is essential.
If not i would leave him. Take your child and run and dont ever look back. He is going to end up making you mental, thats if he dosnt hurt you or kill you first! Then who will care for your child?
There are lots of websites regarding this issue and groups who are prepared to provide you with the help and support you need. Please feel free to email me whenever regarding this issue. It is so real and wont dissapear on its own. I wish you luck and i am sorry if this is not what you were wanting to hear right now!

Answer 2

You know what you will end up dead or close to dead if you dont leave him. Sometimes the best thing you can do is leave him and see what he will lose if he doesnt get his stuff together. Seriously you need to stop thinking about you or him and think about your son. My mom raised us by her self for a good part of our lives while my dad decided to go screw around with other females or whatever they never got divorced but I wish they did cuz everyone would be mentally in a better state than now. SO dont think about my son needs a daddy in his life think about it as my son doesnt need an a$$hole for a role model and he needs to see life as a good thing not something where you are gettin ur a$$ kicked every other week infront of him. Dont pass the cycle to you rson do him a favour and your self leave the dude alone and let him be in jail or whatever. He will come back begging he has changed and he wants you back and he is sorry but you and I know that he wont change unless he goes to a psychologist.
Then you can think maybe he has changed.

Answer 3

I've known alot of people that have been where you are and can only tell you that in short the only thing you can count on is that things wont get better on their own. and anger management classes don't always work. as some people can get through them and bluff the whole time only to go right back to their old ways as soon as they are done with the classes. my Wife grew up watching her dad and mother fight to the point where he tried to kill her mother by holding her head under water in a bath tub. some people just cant control rage it controls them instead. another friend was taken out of her home and put in foster care because the same thing was happening between her parents only it ended with her dad killing her mom with a baseball bat. so don't put you child in a position where it will grow up getting the wrong idea about how family relationships should work, as you know they often will then grow up to abuse their families also.
If your boyfriend ever overcomes his rage he will have to do it himself, till then you have to remove yourself from his reach for your protection as well as your baby's.

Answer 4

Please check in to a battered womans group.
I don't think you realize the danger of being with a man like this. YOu be strong and stop this family behavior before your chlidren learn it.
Leave before he kills you or you accidently kill him while protecting yourself.

Document all your fights and take pictures of your injuries. But, leave before you have to do that.

You can call the cops or a hospital and ask for the local womans groups that help battered women.

Once you get free from him, you will realize how crazy life with him was .

Many of us love somone that we CAN't be with.
Don't stay for the love. Leave for your life & your kids life. NOW

Answer 5

GO GO GO. Get out of the relationship. Your child's safety and needs should come before your own. If he has mental issues, anger management will probably not help.

Tell him that you want to be separated until he can get himself in order. If he cannot get himself in order, then you're already out of the relationship. If he DOES get better, then you can make the decision as to whether you want to be with him or not.

Answer 6

Honey, I have been where you are. I left my sons father. And hes not his life at this moment. I am happy without him. If I stayed with him he would of messed up our sons life. I married, now divorced a guy who abused me in all ways. He beat me up, and made my life a miserable hell. I still have nightmares, and I am still scared to this day. Think of your son. How will this affect him? What if your SO abused your child? How would you feel. Your a victim of domestic abuse. As well as a survivor. Please call the dv hotline to speak to a trained professional. Good luck

Answer 7

You need to seriously consider leaving. Because you do not to stay with anyone that is lying his hands on you in anger. And If not for you do it for your child. As you stated you see a cycle, but you have a chance to break that cycle and raise your child, and to live your life in a positive light.

Answer 8

Sister, I called you sister because I can relate. I was in the same situation. I had to get out of the relationship. if he loves you and the baby, he'll agree to counseling. if not, you need to get out for the safety of yourself and child. men are killing women and children a great deal now-a-days. your life is not worth the wait to see if he'll change

Answer 9

People like you pullute the Internet.

Answer 10

No i don't think anything is wrong with him, got a mirror?