My husband and I plan on having another baby in the near future. Our daughter is 19 months old at this time, and was breastfed for a year. Has anyone else had a toddler, and breastfed their baby? I plan on nursing baby #2 for just as long, and am just curious about how our daughter may react. Do they experience jealousy, cuiosity, etc? Any personal experiences on this matter are greatly appreciated. Thanks!
2006-10-22 18:18:09 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I have a 2 1/2 year old and am breastfeeding our 10 month old. I actually tandem nursed for the first few months because our toddler wasn't completely weaned and I didn't want to connect the new baby with denying her the breast. I had to set up some boundaries with the older one because she wanted to nurse every time she saw the baby nurse. So we developed the mantra "you nurse morning, nap time and bedtime". This helped her know she would get her chance.
Some suggestions:
Your older child may ask to nurse again. Allow her to try it. Because she is weaned, she won't like it but then it isn't a battle of the wills over something the baby gets that she doesn't.
Develop a nursing box with toys that your toddler gets to play with only while you nurse. It helps with the time consuming factor of nursing and then nursing is a good thing.
Use nursing time as story time. You will quickly learn to nurse and turn pages at the same time.
Buy a baby doll for your daughter so she can nurse her baby too. Our toddler does this now and it cracks me up. I tell her she knows how to be a great mommy already!
In our house, our daughter was mostly jealous of the time spent with her baby sister so we tried to carve out "mommy time" while the baby was napping. I'd really play it up about how she got mommy all to herself. She also wanted to feed the baby grown-up food so we had to explain, a lot, about how the baby didn't have any teeth and had to nurse for her food.
The thing I found most difficult was finding the time to have a 30 minute feeding while my toddler was on the loose. She knew I was distracted and would get creative with entertaining herself (read that as "mischeif"). My baby got a lot of partial feedings with interruptions, feedings in the sling, and feedings while her sister watched "Dora the Explorer." Now that she's older, we don't have any problems. Feedings are shorter, less frequent and part of the routine. It just took a few months to get everything settled out.
2006-10-22 18:36:47 · answer #1 · answered by Sylvia M 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I might be qualified to answer your question. I breast fed all my kids. My first child didn't really pay much attention that I nursed the 2nd baby but he was extremely jealous, to the point he would hit the baby ,we finaly had to get a play pen type crib with very small netting so that he couldn't poke anything through and hit the baby.He was 22 months old when the new baby arrived and we had talked to him and explained about a new baby coming to live with us. he was excited, then the day we walked into Grandmas with the new baby I cried when I saw the hurt in his eyes.Then baby # 3 came along and he was ok with that one. One day I was giving the two older kids their lunch and I asked if they wanted milk. The oldest one says yes. As I was about to pour the milk for him he says" noooo mommy I want bewbie milk" I thought OMG!. lol. but I explained the new baby needed the milk. If she does show jealousy be sure to include her on everything with the baby,bathing let her sit with you when you are feeding the baby.and when the baby is sleeping be sure to get your daughter on your lap and read to her. or play a few games with her. maybe have a sitter for the new baby one day a week and take your daughter to McD's for lunch. If you let her know she is still very special to you, things will go great! Let her help you with laundry, making beds etc. if she doesn't want to do that, don't worry about making the bed and all the house chores, your daughter adjusting is more important and 100 yrs from now,no one will care whether or not your beds were made every day! Use your mother intuition and watch the look in her eyes and you will soon be able to tell when she is feeling left out. when I was making memory albums I saw the hurt in my daughter's eye "in the photos" I never noticed it at the time and I feel so bad. But our youngest almost died at 9 days old and we had to give him more attention that what most babies require..I was so involved with caring for him I failed to notice how my little girl was hurting
2006-10-23 01:41:06 · answer #2 · answered by Jo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've done it four times. They are usually curious and I just say I'm feeding or nursing the baby. They sometimes mocked me putting stuffed animals or dolls to the chests. One of mine even put it under her shirt. We didn't make a big deal out of it. It's normal. I just would make comments like: what a good mommy you are. or the like. One of mine asked if she could try it at about age 3 and I just said: no, its only for babies and you already had your turn, now go get your juice cup and you can come cuddle on the other side of me.
2006-10-23 01:24:28 · answer #3 · answered by suzyQ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have heard of people feeding more than one child, but why would you want to. At 19 months your child should be drinking from a cup and eating pretty standard food. Most toddlers are pretty self involved the baby won't mean that much if she is not left out too much.
2006-10-23 02:13:02 · answer #4 · answered by obenypopstar 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋