I have a fear of intimacy, which extends to all levels. I've never had a romantic relationship with anyone, and I also have problems expressing intimacy in a non-romantic sense i.e. with family members.
All through my life, there was a kind of intimacy barrier between myself and my parents which I didn't really notice. Now that there are new additions to the family in the form of babies (niece and nephew), the problem has become even more noticeable. When asked to cuddle the babies, handle them, sing to them or talk to them in a particular way, I become very frightened. Its now at the point where I'm trying everything to avoid visiting them. Now, family members are starting to notice....
Why have I become like this, and what can I do to overcome this fear?
2006-10-22 18:15:44 · 13 answers · asked by nemesis 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It sounds like there is something buried in your sub concious mind that caused the problem before you were actually able to remember things. A shrink can dig it out for you, but it does take time. Sometimes a good Hypnotist can bring it to the surface. You could have been molested and not even remember it, but it would stick in your mind and cause you problems.
2006-10-22 18:40:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a similar problem, except that I just cant relate to babies not everyone else.
I simply CANNOT hold a baby long, but that's not because I'm afraid of it I just dont like to hold anyother baby. My mom let me follow her around visiting people with babies and it took a long time 4 me to finally be able to hold them.
Get close to people who arent afraid. You cant live alone forever n dont stop visting your relatives...you only have this once to live and see them.
Relationships? The day will come were you'll have undying love 4 someone and you wont feel afraid anymore. You'll trust your partner and need not be afraid.
Finally, see a psychology expert and go 4 counselling, solve your problem fast
2006-10-23 02:06:35 · answer #2 · answered by rhea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On one hand,it's probably mental disturbance,for which the cure is to improve your health and practise meditaion or other religious procedures.On the other hand,it's plain awkwardness or shyness or lack of confidence,which I had for many years unti my late twenties,some people take longer to mature but it can be a crippling factor.you need to go out more,breathe fresh air, do something stupid or crazy.but if you feel you are fine and happy just the way you are,and don't think it's affecting your job or your family,then just be yourself and people will learn to accept it after some time.i don't know how old you are so it's rather difficult to advise you in this situation.Romance-wise,you should try chatting or try www.friendster.com.finaly reemember there are pros and cons of being solo or with friends,so don't worry too much,cheer up a bit.
2006-10-23 01:47:45 · answer #3 · answered by fadly j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I'm afraid of doing things I've never done before too. tell your family the truth just be honest the should be understanding they are your family, try small steps to getting closer to people maybe start with a pet by telling them something about your self at least once a day or perhaps a diary just to get yourself in the habit of expressing yourself hope you finally get to be close with someone it's a great piece of life
2006-10-23 01:27:34 · answer #4 · answered by good advice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think intimacy is learned or un-learned whether we have it as little kids or not. There are many people who are afraid to be intimate or just feel aqkward with actions that seem common to everyone. If this bothers you there is help. Find a counselor who will help you. Or a support group of others who have similar problems.
If there is someone in your family whom you feel comfortable talking about this to, then do so. But don't put yourself down.
Good luck.
2006-10-23 01:23:19 · answer #5 · answered by San Diego Art Nut 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you answered the question of why you are like this, your past with your family, maybe you were afraid of them, or they just weren't as loving towards you as you needed or you liked. The best way to deal with this is to tell your family, especially your siblings, and form there work with them to break this phobia, help you grow accustomed to intimacy. Hope that helps.
2006-10-23 01:20:29 · answer #6 · answered by Midnyht 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's up to you to open up. Try starting to open with a stranger first. Someone you're unfamiliar with and probably won't judge you. Talking and sharing your thoughts is a good start.
Don't you have crushes before or fallen in love?
You're probably like this because you're not brought up exposed to intimacy or family closeness.
2006-10-23 02:23:11 · answer #7 · answered by debrakhoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ryan is a loser but seriously,i would go for counselling or as you americans call it,therapy,you need to overcome this or it could really hinder your progress and prevent you from having any meaningful relationships,i wish you the best of luck.
2006-10-23 01:20:37 · answer #8 · answered by ♥cozicat♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find yourself someone that will break that fear...someone that will fill those gaps...don't know much about psychology but I've been through a similar situation, but regarding "my dad" only...
2006-10-23 01:21:53 · answer #9 · answered by Hacker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be autistic....go and see your GP.
2006-10-23 04:15:37 · answer #10 · answered by soggykipper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋