My husband and I met about 8 years ago - we got married after about 2 years of being together - before this we had a lot of trouble with my parents as they weren't keen on us marrying as we were from different religions so the year before we got married was a pretty stressful time for both of us.
At the time the 2 of us wanted nothing more than to be together for the rest of our lives and so marriage was soemthing both of us were keen - or so I thought.
Recently my hsband has been saying that he feels like he was pressurised into marrying me and that although he wants to spend his life with me he feels like he didn't get to enjoy his time as a batchelor. This really hurts me as I never pressurised him into marriage - at the time it was something that he seemed as keen for as me.
Now I am just really confused as to what is really going on - we can't go back and change what happened in the past so I don;t understand what my husband is trying to say.
2006-10-22 18:12:51 · 11 answers · asked by misscynic 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm 31 by the way and he is 33 - I just type a lot faster than my keyboard skills allow for hence all the typos
2006-10-22 18:18:40 · update #1
Your husband needs to be honest with you. He's regretting the life he has and wondering about what could have been. You should consider counseling. Next he will want to spend more time away from you. Before too long he will be sleeping with other women.
Don't ignore the warning signs. Get help or you will get single.
2006-10-22 18:23:25 · answer #1 · answered by Cain 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe when he was a bachelor you treated him as if you'd loose him any moment. Now that your married he feels you know he cant just walk out the door, he's afraid of your security feeling.
YOU GO GIRL!
For one thing why dont you make him feel like he would be gone anytime soon. Pretend your dating. When you once dated probably you said all the right things and give him all the right lovey dovey. Do some now.
Try telling him you dont want him pressured you just want him happy. Go for a holiday somewhere to lessen the tension or send him to a holiday so that he'll miss u.
Be straightforward and say that times where love was fire crackers aint going to last long. Tell him it's time you guys took love in a whole new stage. Say your ready (if you are) and tell him you'll help him thrughout the way.
Guys like it if you compliment... it makes him feel he's good enough for you.
If he starts cheating. Loose him girl... he's a waste of time...
Think POSITIVELY by the way
2006-10-23 01:28:44 · answer #2 · answered by rhea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, he's full of cr@p. He knew exactly what he was doing when he married you so he needs to get off this kick. Some men, no matter how nice or sweet they are, pull this kind shenanigans at one point or another.
Maybe, and I almost hate suggesting this, maybe you can spice up the relationship by being really creative sexually. Try a nurse's outfit one night or suprise him in the car with a little, you know. Get creative. That should shut him up for a while.
2006-10-23 01:27:06 · answer #3 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know it sounds as though he doesn't know what he wants. why would a married man want to relive his bachelorhood? he said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you but not in marriage? he should want the commitment of marriage. well you definitely need to sit down and talk to him and find out what it is that he wants. sounds like he regrets it. Maybe he is just not happy anymore. That is something that you have to talk about with him. I don't get why he said he didn't get to enjoy his time as a bachelor is he thinking of cheating? hes being pretty immature and disrespectful to you. good luck to you.
2006-10-23 01:26:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cant emphasize the importance of confidence in every aspect of your life. Dont you dare let yourself feel guilty for "pressuring" him. First of all, he is a grown man capable of making his own decisions. It is extremely immature for him to blame you and dont you dare feel insecure about it, because people like this feed off of your insecurities. Dont give him the satisfaction---he married you, you didnt hold a gun to his head. Bachelorhood. Ask him what that means to him. Banging a new girl every night? Wow, thats an empty feeling.
2006-10-23 01:52:21 · answer #5 · answered by jenmimo7 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he is trying to say he feels like he was rushed into getting married. and that a night out at the tittybar with the guys should be more sufficiant with you and maybe alittle game of motor boat with the stripper.
2006-10-23 01:15:58 · answer #6 · answered by Ryan M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its that itch....It happens....3yrs, 7yrs, 10yrs,13yrs,...just about every three years...You think hey everything is going so well. We have our ups and downs and then boom you get hit with the whammy....I need more space issues....He has some issues that he needs to take care of meaning his mind is wondering.... Has he started a new job....met some new friends....something is not right....somebody has boosted up his EGO
2006-10-23 01:33:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anastacia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? Keen? You can't spell so I assume you are very young? I think he is regretting getting married and will probably end up leaving or cheating on you.
2006-10-23 01:15:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's telling u he wants to go ho around.. do his own thing, not answer to anyone, he's saying he wants out..
He loves u, but he doesnt want to be committed to u ..
He wants his freedom..
Sorry but he's on the verge of leaving.... time to get some marriage counseling and fast..
2006-10-23 01:19:14 · answer #9 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like hubby is looking for a reason for divorce...
2006-10-23 01:46:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋