How do I deal with this?

Question

My 11 year old daughter keeps forgetting to vacum her room. I am at wits end. Do I take away her cell phone, or other privledges, how do I get to the bottom of her sociopathic behavior

Answer 1

I've clued onto you.... You're quite Entertaining. They should have a search column up the top so i can type in your name each time i come on to see what hilarious s**t you have written on that day!
TIP: to many repeats. c'mon your smart!

Answer 2

To begin with what does an 11 year old need with a cell phone? Secondly just because a kid doesn't vacuum let alone clean their room doesn't mean that they are exhibiting sociopathic forms of behavior.

She's 11 years old ground her, then sit down, have a cocktail and thank God that this is the worst behavior issue that you have to deal with.

Think about it, with the information overload present in society today, your problems with your daughter could be much worse.

Answer 3

Forgetting= doesn't want to do it

The next time you remind her to vacuum her room let her know this will be the last time you will tell her to do it, that if it's not done by such and such day each week that you will take her cell phone away or some other priviledge away. Keep whatever you have from her until she does what she's told or keep the phone for as many days as it took her to finally vacuum after you last reminded her.

I wouldn't consider her not vacuuming her room sociopathic behavior though. Is there more to her that you didn't provide?

Answer 4

Sociopathic behavior??? Do you even have a real clue as to what this means? Your daughter refusing to vacuum her room doesn't mean she has no regard for society as a whole, is lacking moral responsibility or social conscience. It merely means she's a teenager in the making.

Is the world going to end if she fails to vacuum? Is she going to become a crimminal, get on drugs, become a prostitute for lack of a clean carpet? NO.

YOU need to lighten up the attitude about the vacuuming. You're coming off as so freaked out about it, you're willing to have her committed.

Maybe part of the problem is teaching responsibility. Did she earn that cell phone, or did you just give it to her cause she wanted one?

You want her to be responsible, then the next time she wants something, tell her she has to earn it - and that means doing her chores. On your part, you need to clearly define what those chores are, when they need to be done, and HOW you want them done.

Forgetting doesn't equal not wanting to do it. It equals being of least importance to her day. And it's always possible that maybe, just maybe, she's doing it because you're freaking out so much about it. Passive aggressive rebellion. And actually, it's perfectly normal and natural for her to rebel against you; it's part of becoming an independent, confident adult. It's not going to end any time soon. Pick your battles- vacuuming is, on a scale of things she could or could not be doing, exceedingly minor.

Answer 5

does she do other things you ask? or does she do nothing you ask? maybe she hates vacuming...I know I do.

do you really feel that is something you can categorize as sociopathic though? You are at wits end...try to not get so worked up about it, it's one thing.

Like stated above, she could be doing worse. She's only 11...give her a break. children do not see vacuming as an important thing to do...but if you are a true stickler about it, do the rewards system way of punishment and let it ride. Don't get so emotional about it though. That will just affect you, and maybe that is her MO.

Answer 6

A sociopath is someone without a conscience. . .someone who, for example, would just as soon stab you in the heart as hug you. Her behavior is irresponsible and maybe has a little rebellion thrown in, but it's not sociopathic!

There are two things going on here: One is she likes her room the way it is, and two, she enjoys pushing your buttons. If you stop giving her buttons to push, i.e., leave her alone, the vacuuming may get done or it may not.

If this is a non-negotiable thing with you, I suggest you quit nagging and take away a privilege for every day it doesn't get done.

Answer 7

My neighbors daughter moved in with him not too long ago. They had asked their father if they could have a set allowance. He told him if they wanted an allowance that they had to work for it. He made a chart of all the chores they were to do. He was paying every week not realizing that they were not completing all of their chores. What he did this time was not only make another list but also a check list of what they did or didn't do. For every chore that they did not complete, he deducted money from their allowance. Needless to say, he comes home to a neat house and is always out 20 bucks a week.

Answer 8

I'm 16 and I still don't clean my room. I do when I feel like it, if I don't oh well. My dad tried taking things away from me and it doesn't really ever work. If she wants her room messy let it stay messy. Just don't look at it. It's not like you live in her room. Shut her door if you don't want to look at it. But if you insist on it, I would just take away her cell phone or say she can't hang out with friends until it's clean. Or you could give her an allowance.

Answer 9

YOUR DAUGHTER FORGETS TO DO WHAT SHE DISLIKES THE MOST. YOU CAN TAKE AWAY WHATEVER PRIVLEDGES THAT YOU WANT TO BUT THAT WILL ONLY MAKE HER DISLIKE IT EVEN MORE, IN THE LONG RUN. MOTHER, AT WITS END, TIE A KNOT IN ANYTHING NEGATIVE THAT YOU MIGHT SAY OR DO. YOU CAN GET MORE FLIES WITH HONEY THAN CRAP. HAVE YOU HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE? TRY CLEANING YOUR DAUGHTERS ROOM WITH HER AND LET HER DO THE FLOORS WHILE YOURE DOING SOMETHING ELSE. ALONE, BUT WITH YOU. IF YOU MAKE IT FUN, ANY QUALITY TIME SPENT WITH JUST YOU AND HER, SHE WILL BE MORE APT TO "GIT ER DONE" WITH OR WITHOUT YOU. ESPEACIALLY IF YOU FOLLOW UP WITH POSITIVE PRAISE FOR A JOB WELL DONE.

Answer 10

don't keep telling her to do it. I myself know that by doing this they will avoid doing it just to spite you. just make sure that the vacume is in veiw to remind her, and try asking her nicely, asking being the key word, to do it when she is not buisy with somthing that she thinks is important. If she is actulally forgetting on accident, try talking, to work somthing out, like putting a note on the door or working out a regular time once a day (or however often she needs to do it) for her to vacume, so that it becomes habbit.

Answer 11

Set her room on fire with all of those name brand cigarettes she's been smoking after you told her only generic ones allowed. Then put it out with all of her half full Natty Ice bottles.
Then take her to see a movie, so you can post about some movies for once in the movie section, and not the Mommy Dearest movie you have become.