he beat me and verbally abused me and controlled me and thought it was ok and now i feel lost with out him and i still love him and my family thinks it is wrong and that he shouldnt have this controll over me still please help me
2006-10-22 16:19:06 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Better the HELL you know, than the possible HELL you don't.
That's exactly what it is. Instead of running back to him, seek out a man who will provide you & your child with a loving, nurturing, & caring environment. After a while, you will become accustomed to it. Once you have accomplished that, the next battle you will experience within yourself is the belief that you don't deserve such a wonderful man, & then you may start to do things to ruin your relationship with this new man. It may be in the form of mistrust, or taking out the anger you have against this last guy, on the next guy.
The truth is that you really do deserve better, so go for it.
Your abuser doesn't have ANY control over you, unless you give it to him.
The reasons that you got into a relationship with an abuser in the 1st place, & now have you considering going back to him are very complicated & tough to unravel on your own. You may want to get some councelling before you start seeking a new relationship.
Take care of yourself. You left an abusive relationship, so far you're doing GREAT!
2006-10-22 16:36:47 · answer #1 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't love pain, love is not suppose to feel like that
You should love yourself way more than that
Your child should be your pride and joy right now not HIM
Guys that hit girls like to relapse and do it again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again, annoying isn't it and that is how you will feel being in a relationship like that ANNOYED, b/c you won't be able to breathe and enjoy life without wondering when he is coming, or when is the hit or hits coming, or if he will approve of this or that. I bet that you are short changing yourself, their is no prob in having love for him, but NOT loving him. Get rid off him, quick to so a REAL MAN and your Prince charming can come into your life and really show you what love is all about.
Look at it this way, if you have a baby girl you wouldn't want any guy pounding on her, so that is how your family feels.
2006-10-22 16:29:17 · answer #2 · answered by Breann 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Dear you need to seek counseling, it is not normal to love
someone who beats and verbally abuses you.
He is insecure to do this, but you are insecure to allow it.
This is not normal and should never ever be tolerated.
Your life with him will be pure hell, once you really grow up
and say enough is enough, it will be to late. You are reading this now and if you do not react, you will then feel the regret of advice
giving out of care.
Trust me I know what I am talking about. Raise your child make them your priority. Give your child the love so they do not seek it
in a destitute way.
LIfe is too wonderful, too be treated so terribly. Take your soul, your heart and love and find someone deserving. Don't ever look back.
2006-10-22 16:27:58 · answer #3 · answered by Rick D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No man who lays his hand on you loves you!!! Your family is right he is not right for you. All he is doing is lowering you self esteem, steping all over you dignity as a woman, and this will continue until you learn to love yourself. The key to this TIME and GOD alot of prayer. you are teaching you child this is the way it should be. You can not let go because you feel you deserve that and you cant get any better and he is a challenge to you that you can make it all better. The fact of the matter is, is that you can not maybe when you love yourself and let go he will realize what he had and what his family means to him. Until then it will continue over and over again.. Just try it. PRAY. God does listen
2006-10-22 16:34:18 · answer #4 · answered by jane do 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to follow your heart, do you love him? You need to think long and hard about this. Because if you do, and you decide to get back together with him, now, you already know how he is, so you will have no right to complain if he abuses you. However, as a mother, if he becomes abusive to your child, well, it's your duty to protect that child. That's a call you have to make, no one else has the right to make it for you, may GOd be with you.
2006-10-22 16:29:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
someone can only do what you allow them to. if you know all these things about him than allow yourself to have time to heal. it does not happen over night so dont think that it'll be easy. there are alot of women in our prison system because they were battered women and though they loved the abuser they had two choices, kill or be killed. do what is best for your child and yourself. dont put yourself back in a situation that can possibly kill you mentally or physically. if you decide to go back than guess what, take a gun and just finish the job before he can. you can only play the fool for so long
2006-10-22 16:25:32 · answer #6 · answered by mikki n 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you still love him I think you are afraid. What you need is support from your family and to be single so you can learn to love yourself more and become independent and confident. Nobody deserves to be treated the way you were. Think about your child, they cant be subjected to domestic violence.
2006-10-22 16:24:34 · answer #7 · answered by rc 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your family is right. No one has the right to control you or hit you, and you need help because you allowed him to continue to do this and you don't realize how wrong it is, and how one day he would have killed you. I think you need help, and I think you need self esteem and to learn to become your own woman, not anyone's slave.
2006-10-22 16:22:14 · answer #8 · answered by brand_new_monkey 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you need to do some serious soul searching and speak with a therapist. you have some issues that need to be dealt with. not only for you but for your child(ren) as well. that is not love AT ALL. and when you start to feel better about yourself you will realize that you deserve more. for some reason you feel that you deserve to be treated poorly and until you realize that YOU deserve better you will continue to date men who treat you like crap,whether its him or someone else!!!
2006-10-22 16:24:27 · answer #9 · answered by Rinah 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it grew to become into me in my view i could no longer do it.. i could no longer pass while not having my toddlers with me continuously.. I merely could no longer have somebody else elevating my babies and them questioning the place their mommy is.. to boot all that I have no clue what to tell you to boot seek advice from a lawyer till now you do something era!
2016-11-24 23:34:25 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋