My friend and her younger sister got raped the other day by 3 robbers who forcefully went in their home. She refuses to let other people know about it and we understand but we are afraid she may be afraid to go out again. She is naturally very shy, timid and not very sociable and what happened to her may make things worse. How can we, her friends, help her?
2006-10-22 16:17:34 · 12 answers · asked by prettyfuljan 1 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Do what I did when my sister was raped. Take her to the ER for a rape kit. The dna will be on record. If they did this once they will do it again, and there needs to be enough of a legal framework to put them in prison. If these rapists are knowingly spreading life threatening sexually transmitted diseases it can be documented by the rape kit and instead of rape charges, they can be facing pre-meditated murder charges.
Get your friend checked for STD's. This is probably not the first time they did this, your friend could be dying of AIDS and not know it, or spread it someone unknowingly. If the doctors catch it within the first few days of infection there are some unpleasant medical cocktails that will be given to your friend that can essentially preemptively kill every std your friend would otherwise catch, including AIDS.
If she waits more than 3 days, the rape-kit is an exercise in futility. Same thing with the STD drugs.
Oh, and your friend is going to have real mental and emotional issues if she is preggers from the robbers.
Call a rape hotline, talk to a counselor. Get your friend qualified professional help.
If your friend is a minor, talk to her parents. You have to tell someone.
My other sister was raped, and didnt act on it. She is still haunted by it, decades later. She still can not trust men. She has never coped with it. If you leave it up to your friends "instinctive" mechanisms to cope with this, she could be trying to cope for the rest of her life and get nowhere at it. She needs help, qualified professional help.
You have the choice of saving your friends life if she has an STD. You may have the choice of saving some other girl who these guys have raped, or will rape.
This may be the time where you say that you are willing to take a huge risk, and seriously jeopardize your friendship in order to save a life or several lives. Is it worth it to you if you lose the friendship, but the doctors are able to give your friend the meds in time, and you keep her from dying of AIDS?
Do this because thats the kind of person you want to be, you want to be someone who takes a chance a great chance to help someone even in a way that they wont be able to wrap their head around for several years.
Whatever you do. Dont do nothing. Dont keep this secret. Its a killer for your friend, for her heart and soul. If you keep it and it kills your friend, it will take a piece of your heart and a piece of your soul. Dont do nothing.
2006-10-22 16:34:43 · answer #1 · answered by Curly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is true, i am very sorry! you should encourage her and her sister to get ahold of the local Rape Crisis Center hot-line is usually listed in the yellow pages and they normally have a 24 hour 7day a week number. These people who answer the phone are trained professionals who volunteer their time. Call them and they can tell you where to go for some counseling assistance, or talk with you over the phone. Either way, they both need to find some counseling services and speak with someone. They have been through a very traumatic event and the after effects will begin to show up and only get worse with out treatment. I am very suprised that the local law enforcement agency in your area that reported the crime did not give her this information. please see if you can get her to seek out some professional assistance and deal with this, better now than later. Good luck and God bless
2006-10-23 07:41:52 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've asked a hard question............
I've never been in the situation, and not sure if there is a best answer. First, you need to be the good friend. She needs support & help. You have to be her guide. If she does not wish to talk about it, don't push it. It's still a open wound. It take along time to heal. First help her with the immediate needs (doctor, cops, etc). Then try to find some counciling services through a rape crisis center in your area. Try to provide a measure of security. Have a alarm system ordered, by a dog, etc. That will give her some sense of protection that it won't happen again. As her sister was with her, she has somebody to share the grief with. Basically your going be the one to carry the load. Not the cops, family or counselor. Your the one she trusts, not them. I wish I could offer you more......
2006-10-22 16:40:42 · answer #3 · answered by lana_sands 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First just be there for her support her decisions and be a good sholder for her to cry on. You could have more nights in and watch movies about woman empowerment. You could go to a rape center and ask them how you can help your friend cope with what happened. I wish I could help more but this is all I got. You seem like a great friend and right now thats what she needs. GOOD LUCK
2006-10-22 16:27:03 · answer #4 · answered by Trish H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to convey to her that it may be hard but if she doesn't go foward now she will regret it. Those people are out there and they could do it again. If not for her, then for her younger sister. Good Luck and be strong. Be there for your friend, she needs you now more than ever.
2006-10-22 16:21:51 · answer #5 · answered by acdshottie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To start, talk to them. Try to be as understanding as you can possibly be. Most importantly, try to agree with them, ONLY if what they want for themselves does not hurt them in any way. Next, give them as much advice as you can. Tell them really good, positive things about themselves. And try telling them really good, positive things they are missing out on outdoors. That will help them get their minds off their experience. Once you see that they are doing better, calmly return to their incident, and get as much information out of them as you can. Once you have enough information, get professional help.
2006-10-22 16:28:51 · answer #6 · answered by Christy G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because sexual assault is a crime of violence, emotions such as shock, anger, shame, guilt, and fear or a combination of those feelings are normal. It is important to get counseling from a trusted and professional counselor and/or to join a support group. No one should have to face the trauma of sexual assault alone.
2006-10-22 22:30:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a good listener. Call a rape counselor and ask how to best support your friend.
2006-10-22 16:27:57 · answer #8 · answered by Susan M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
signs her up for some support group/ rape victim program. it is great that you are trying to help, and she needs that from you right now, but this will take more than your help. that is just my 2 cents.
2006-10-22 16:27:13 · answer #9 · answered by tom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her parents,she needs to get tested for STD's and get some counseling.
2006-10-22 16:20:07 · answer #10 · answered by Celebrity girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋