I am 35 weeks pregnant and I feel like my fiance is not as attracted to me as he used to be.What do I do?

Question

In the last 3 months we have only had sex about once every 2 weeks....we used to do it 2 or 3 times a week. I feel really insecure about my body and his lack of interest is really affecting my self esteem.I don't have the confidence in myself that I used to have. What should I do?

Answer 1

On the bright side, your fiance could be afraid of hurting you or your unborn baby. So he's backing off on having sex too often. Could be doing it only when he simply can't resist his urge to have sex with you any longer. Especially now that you are getting pretty close to giving birth.

On another side, but not a negative one, you have to keep in mind that some women carry a baby well. They go through the experience without skipping a beat. They look energetic and sexy throughout the whole pregnancy--big belly and all. Other women don't carry so well. The pregnancy takes its toll on them. It saps their energy and is quite a drain on their system. They often look tired, seem to wobble around with difficulty rather than glyde along with ease, and often say they can't wait for the pregnancy to be over with, rather than expressing excitement about the day the baby will be born. Both of these women are perfectly normal. But, as you can imagine, one looks more sexually appealing than the other.

What the situation is with your particular pregnancy, I don't know, but I think you're most likely a sexy looking one. But, if not, then making it a point to explain that you don't think your body looks sexy at this stage of your pregnancy and asking him (after you've taken your bath) to massage your body with baby oil or body lotion or whatever to help ensure your body will bounce back more quickly to its original form after the baby is born would be a great way to send the message to your sweetie that you want to be sexually attractive to him, and it would also set the mood for sex that evening. However all these things shake out, you can be assured that after the baby is born, your sweetheart will no longer have concerns about possibly causing you or the baby some harm. The baby will be born, your body will be snapping back (if that was a concern) and he'll want to get back to the normal routine again.

If this doesn't make you feel better about yourself, you could just tug on your sweetie's heartstrings. You know, say something like "You don't find me attractive anymore now that I'm pregnant do you?" "I can tell because you don't seem to want to have sex with me as often anymore." Then wait to see what he says. I think his response will make you realize that he still loves you and wants you, and it will make you feel much better.

Or, you may just tell him you need to have a talk with him about sex. Then explain to him what position you think is best for the two of you to have sex in during the current stage of your pregnancy. This will be a signal to him that you want sex, and that he doesn't have to refrain for fear of hurting you or the baby because you will guide him. Just tell him you'll keep him up to date on what's best as time passes. You'll also want to make sure to explain to him how soon the two of you can have sex after you give birth. He may not understand that. So, in essence, you need to kind of guide him--because you're the one who knows best.

Yet another approach are handwritten YES and NO signs. They indicate whether sex is possible or not on any given day/night. You just leave the appropriate one on the bed. And as a joke, you can have a hidden one that reads UNDECIDED with words in smaller print that read "Depends on how sweet you are to me." Just pop that one out on a day when he doesn't seem as loving as he should be in your opinion.

Good luck, and, err, try not to overdo it, you sexpot you.

Answer 2

Don't feel bad, there could be several reasons as to why sex has been less frequent, and it does not necessarily because he is less attracted to you. I have heard that some men are worried about hurting the woman or the baby during sex. He might be pre-occupied with the realization that he is going to be a dad, and that is consuming a lot of his attention. Or, it could be a number of other things. Maybe just ask him, and he would tell you.

Things will change after you have the baby too. First of all, no sex for 6 weeks because your body will be healing. Then, after that, it is hard to find time to have sex when you are lacking sleep and have a baby who will demand a lot of attention.

But, it's all worth it as nothing is better than becoming parents, and you and your husband will get back to a more regular sex schedule in time.

Answer 3

because men are very visual, with weight gain and pregancy it can turn a man off- but it sounds insensitive of him, however, is this something you've discussed with him? That is the best place to start if you haven't. Men need to be sure they love their women during pregnancy more because they are carryiing their child inside of them. There is nothing more beautiful then that, and a woman can't give a man a better gift then that. The thing that really stinks though that is after the baby is born, things are going to be completely different- because now you will have yet another "distraction" from physical love making. I hope for the sake of your relationship that he wakes up and smells the coffee. also, i dont know his side of the story- your hormoned may be making you act in a way that is turning him off as well- but i hope that isnt the case. talk to him, if you have open communication and he is an understanding man, you should make it through this and you need to be sure to work through it as a team.

Answer 4

I went through the same thing with my husband. I read in all the baby books that husbands are so attracted to their pregnant partners. My husband wasn't at all. He was too aware of the baby, so we hardly ever had sex. It was really frustrating since my hormones were going crazy, and they say that sex can help to bring on labor! I felt really bad about myself, very unattractive. Then that got worse for me after the baby was born, but I had postpartum depressions pretty bad. But now things are definately back to normal. My husband finds me more sexy now, and trust me, my body isn't even close to what it was pre pregnancy! I'm sure he doesn't love you any less, and he'll be attracted to you again. I think pregnant women are beautiful. Take care of yourself and your new baby.
Good luck!

Answer 5

Some guys are a little weirded out by thinking of having sex with a very pregnant girl. But it would be best to discuss it with him. If he truly thinks less of u, better to find out now than after marriage. I would sooner think he is worried about the baby or feels it is not appropriate.

Answer 6

dont worry sweetie, it is just your hormones getting to you. you are just as beautiful as you were before you were pregnant, you may even be prettier because when women are pregnant they glow, literally. your fiance may feel like he doesnt want to make you uncomfortable by having sex, or maybe his mind is consumed in the fact that he will soon have a baby to take care of. the best thing to do is talk to him about it, let him know how you are feeling, once you do that im sure you will feel better about yourself. and just think, soon you will have a beautiful baby to hold and cuddle and your body will go back to normal to include your hormones.

Answer 7

This is a temporary situation, but guess what, unless you can afford a lot of plastic surgery, and even then your body is going to change and loose its elasticity. Maybe you need to reavaluate your realtionship; is it purely physical or is your relationship deeper? Maybe the problem is you are just insecure. Preganancy is a time of many changes; take some time for deep reflection.

Answer 8

first of all. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. if its ur first baby, its all new to him too! it probably weird for him seeing ur body goin through all these changes. and hes feeling weird. just talk to him about it. the most important thing to do is TALK TO HIM. hell never know how u feel if u dont. i was the same way when i was 7-8months pregnant with my daughter, and i thought, well he knows how i feel why dont he do something, but in reality, he didntknow how i was feeling until i told him. just say, honey, you know what, lately i havnt been feeling as sexy, and u havnt been complimenting me as much. or something along those lines, let him know how u feel, and what he can do to help make u feel better. also embrace being pregnant. and sometimes u feel.....u know.....fat. i did too, and i was young and still in school, and now i wish i would have relized how wonderfull pregnancy can be, ur big... AND BEAUTIFUL.!!!!!!! lol. just talk to him. ok,please do that......and good luck... and have a happy, and safe delivery.

Answer 9

You are a beautiful woman about to give him the incredible gift of a child. You should be full of self esteem becuase you're bringing a beautiful life into the world. You're at the end of the road with the pregnancy, so you'll be able to get back into shape soon enough.

Answer 10

being pregnant is so tough, especially those last few weeks! if I were you I would just hang in there. You could try to have a romantic candle lit dinner with him. all the romantic stuff that was once never needed for a passionate night may just be needed for a little while here. it's not you, it's not him. it's emotions, horomones, the fear of hurting you, ua know. he still loves you just as much. you're just as pretty.