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with another guy she meet this summer.She told her husband and they are trying to work things out on there own but it doenst sound good. Im really worried about her. She is extremely upset and feels awful for what she did. How can I comfort her without hurting her more. I am good friends with both of them from highschool. She wants to come over to my place to talk about it with someone besides her husband and mom. What should I say to her to help her? I feel awful for her, and her husband. Please be nice with your answers, she is my best friend.

2006-10-22 15:52:34 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

9 answers

It's obvious that you're a very caring person, and a wonderful friend. but you have to be careful not to let yourself be dragged into the middle of something as serious as this situation. I know you want to help her, and she wants to turn to you for support and comfort, but she may not realize the pressure it could be putting on you. I don't want to sound harsh, but this is something between her and her husband who is also your friend, and might not be after all this is over with. just let her know that you love her and want only the best for her and her husband, but this is something between them, and you don't feel it would be right to get into the middle of something that doesn't involve you and could cause you a lot of undue stress and possibly your friendship with one or both of them. I'm speaking from experience when I tell you this. I know your intentions are the best, as were mine when I was in your situation. please, for the sake of your friendship with both of them, and your sanity, let them work this one out among themselves.

2006-10-22 16:29:34 · answer #1 · answered by atiana 6 · 1 0

please be there for her even if it is just to listen. the fact she shared with you the affair and she has come clean with her husband at least means she honestly is trying to do the right thing and is reaching out for help. none of us are perfect but we all need a friend we can trust and lean on. just be careful not to give direct advice but listen more than anything and don't judge her because it has to be hard for her what she is going through.

she already knows what she did is wrong and none of us ever know where we will find ourselves so always remember anyone could be in her shoes - listen and be a shoulder if she is your friend.

2006-10-22 16:06:23 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa 3 · 0 0

You both sound pretty young and still learning about life. (Not that we ever stop, right?) What she needs is someone to listen and not judge her (at least not outloud). This is a really terrible situation, and uncomfortable I am sure. The best thing you can do is listen and let her get it out, so that she can move on and do the right thing, one way or the other.

2006-10-22 16:07:19 · answer #3 · answered by sparklepup 4 · 0 0

She may be your best friend, hon, but she's being hugely unfair to burden you with this. She needs to speak to a professional marriage counsellor, and her husband needs to be there with her. Your best move would be to admit to her that this is something far beyond your ability and to encourage her to go to that counsellor.
But PLEASE do not send her to a clergyman - those folks rarely have the training or experience needed for such counselling, and are all too likely to say exactly the WRONG things!

2006-10-22 15:58:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You need to tell her that there are always consiquences and divorce will probably be her consiquence. Tell, her to treat him well during the divorce as a way to say sorry and let him start over with someone who actually cares. Caring is an action not a feeling. Remorse doesnt make his heart unbreak.

2006-10-22 16:00:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

She is your friend so you have to support her but let her know she messed up and know she has to face the consequenses. Dont sugarcoat anything, I wouldnt blame the guy for leaving her. Just be there to help her through it and try to get her on the right path.

2006-10-22 16:10:38 · answer #6 · answered by rc 1 · 0 0

Lend her your ear and a shoulder for comfort.

2006-10-22 16:27:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

tell her thats what she get for acting like a ho next time if she get a next time she will think aobut doing it again good luck i hope that helps u

2006-10-22 16:01:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

i would stay out of it.

2006-10-22 16:01:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

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