This is a pretty weird problem, I think. My husband is loving and kind and a great husband, but he doesn't want sex as much as I do. I'm not ugly or fat and I do a lot to try and turn him on and we do have sex, but I initiate it. I want him to do this. It makes me feel so unsexy! I know he has been stressed at work and he used to work out more often. I know these are playing factors, but what can I do from my end? He claims nothing is wrong. Oh, and when we do have sex he comes in like three minutes. HELP ME!!!
2006-10-22 15:47:57 · 34 answers · asked by FreeTruth 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Encouraged him to take more vitamins (Vitamin - E), other food sumplements that increases sex drives, diet and food also that are plenty of vitamin e and c.
A work out once in a while makes the blood circulate and that makes him harder and go farther than 3 minutes..
Initiate also your own foreplay so that you will always be ready when he is ready to come..eventually, he will be able to control that with a lot of exercise and diet.
That is if you are both below 50...But I have seen men more than 60 and they can still do it better that when they were younger.
2006-10-22 15:55:10 · answer #1 · answered by yulnores 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The truth about sex is that for men, it's all in their head. Something has messed with your husband's. Woemen can still "perform" when something is bothering them even if they aren't neccessarily enjoying themselves. Unfortunately for men, it's pretty much impossible.
I'm guessing your husband is feeling a lot of pressure from you. He knows he's not keeping his end of the bargain and that just adds to the pressure. Maybe you've made comments about his three minute "egg". If so, that's probably all he can think about, so he'd rather not perform than perform poorly. It could be something totally unrelated to you, but whatever it is he needs understanding.
I'm not putting the blame on you, because there doesn't need to be any blame. You just want to fix the problem. I'd suggest backing off and do things to let him know how much you love him. Pamper him, but in a way that doesn't lead him to think you expect some action out of him. Let him relax, and I bet his desire returns. As for the three minute problem, take the lead, get into more foreplay. And if all else fails, give him a short break and seduce him a second time. Love is usually sweeter the second time around.
2006-10-22 16:12:03 · answer #2 · answered by twodux 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FINE stands for
Freaked out
Insecure
Neurotic
Emotional
All kidding aside you need to to ask him a truly thought provoking question. Do not ask whats wrong. Ask him to tell you why he thinks you feel the way you do and what he thinks he should do to fix that. It makes him have to think a lot more before he can just say I'm fine There could be some really bad things going on behind that "FINE" and let him know it is important for you to know whats going on. Best case he is just burned out witch could be the truth but he has to talk about it for longer then a few minutes or he is more then likely just BSing you and let him know you think that too. That will force him to show his true colors one way or another. If there was any thing my wife wants to know I will talk to her until the cows come home until she is satisfied and we come to a happy agreement . Worst case ya end up moving on but with your love of life, that's how I will put it, I highly doubt you would be alone for long. And if that's what it takes to get him talking let him know that too. Oh and what ever you do dont tell him how bad it is that he dosn't last that long some guys are wird about that and take it personal. You need to baby most guys into thinking its okay as long as you get enough foreplay to get your engine running way before his is about to even turn on. Some guys just run out of gas after going a million laps over and over again on the same track. Ya might need to change the setting or give the track some thing new to get him back into the race. Worst case you might have to let him hit a pit stop break for a bit so he can rest up for the final run. Good luck and I really hope you get back on track.
2006-10-22 16:19:21 · answer #3 · answered by Chivalry77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As for the cumming quick try a ******** if he will let you they are great. As for him initiating it good luck I have the same problem mine won't just give it up and when I can finally talk him into it I'm not even interested because I feel like I'm making him. Mine says there is nothing wrong too. Your husband is probably not cheating but think about that too. Do you know where he is all the time? That's a hard thing to say but something we really do have to think about. I would suggest talking to him again and again suggest a doctor see what he has to say about that. I'm not saying that talking will help it hasn't with mine but its worth a try. Good luck!
2006-10-22 15:56:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the stress probably has a lot to do with it. I think your best bet is going to be just to talk to him and be honest about it. Don't accuse him or anything, just tell him how you feel. Let him know that you don't feel as sexy, and that you wish he could make you feel wanted. If he married you, he probably has/ and still does think you are very sexy, he just probably doesn't realize that he is making you feel that way. Also, some of the other ideas for spicing it up are good, you could try some sexy lingerie, or go on a vacation or something, that would probably help him to forget about the things stressing him out. Good luck with this!
2006-10-22 16:05:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you guys go straight to the sex or do you guys start out with four play? You should try giving him some grindings and some "thrusting movements" try to turn him on at random places and times during the day. Say like while you are sitting at the dinner table, gently rub his genitals. Do spontaneous things in the bedroom. Get a removable pole and when he gets out of the shower stand at the doorway with your sexy lingerie on and give him a lap dance, a little pole dance, and then you go straight to the oral. Don't spend too much time down there, he might nut a bit too soon. Go to Fredrick's and purchase some body oil (http://www.fredericks.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=Holiday2002&category%5Fname=WMP+Yahoo&product%5Fid=90016&WMFYAHS=&Xvp=WMFYahS90016&roiid=13223) comes in five different flavors. You can apply it onto him with your fingers nad when done allow him to lick your fingers. Begin kissing his ears and moving down lower to his chin then his neck along with his belly and then play with his butt then go to the penis. Start giving him oral while massageing/rubbing hsi testicles. Tat's lal i cna seriosuly think of, if this doesn't get him in the mood what else can? If he gives you an excuse such as "i;m stresed from work" Say that this a perfect reason to unstress him. Before he gets home, make sure you ahve your lingerie on so he doesn't refuse. Good luck!
p.s. If you dont already include talkign dirty to him when he is about to climax
addition:
You can also purposly let him walk into the room while you were playign with yourself. Turns a man on.
2006-10-22 15:58:42 · answer #6 · answered by Liliac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you try to see things from his point of view before you proceed. He probably feels pressured and like he is disappointing you. How about building up his ego a little? Tell him what you do like about your sex life. A sex toy for you will bring you some form of release, so you aren't so anxious about your satisfaction, while you two find your groove. Maybe you can keep yourself busy enough that he'll get a chance to make an advance before you do. Also, remember to pay as much attention to the other areas of his ego. Tell him what you appreciate about his character, your relationship together, your home together. Maybe if he feels secure in other areas of his life, his confidence will filter through to the bedroom.
2006-10-22 15:57:37 · answer #7 · answered by burpolicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm, Don't know. Been married to long and getting bored? Try some excitment. Hotel? Good soft music? Bring a friend along? ( Might be too far out ) A nice dinner show? Go on vacation? Remember stress can make him cold. How about you walking around the house looking hot....That will get his attention. Good luck.
2006-10-22 15:53:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ouch! Nasty answers. Listen, I hope you get what you want I really do. Its just, it seems like he has a lot of heavy stuff going on and sex has slid to a low priority level. Do you want sex or a intimate connection? Try to plan a private dinner, so that you can reconnect. Hey, maybe a little wine, some good conversation... who knows? The least that can happen is that you get to enjoy time with your man. I really wish you luck.
2006-10-22 15:54:52 · answer #9 · answered by sparklepup 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay sounds like your husband has some issues. If a guy comes quickly hes just selfish, a guy can hold the orgasm most of the time, And a guy can have multiple orgasms. Your man is overly worked, stressed out or just not thinking of sex. I say give him time without it. And he will be coming on to you.
2006-10-22 15:56:21 · answer #10 · answered by ~confused~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋