What should I do? PLEASE HELP..Desperate?

Question

K Well I just started a new year at a brand new school. I'v never really met anyone here. I am a VERY shy person..but I want to become part of the popular crowd. I just don't know what to say to them. Normally I am very outgoing..but that's only if I know you for awhile and feel comfortable around you. Please help me. Any suggestions on how to become part of the "in-crowd"? Im desperate here.

I have all my classes with at least one of the members of the clique. I sit next to this girl named Britney in my math & science class. In my other class I sit near 4 of the members of the clique and I am supposed to be doing an art project with one of them. And in PE I am in the same class. Any suggestions on how I can overcome my shyness and talk to one of them so I can join the crowd?? PLEASE HELP ME

Answer 1

Hi you! Here's the deal. I am a shy (very shy) adult. I am fine when I am teaching (I teach at a college), or with my students BUT if I have to be at a party or dinner or anything 'social' I am so uncomfortable I just want to scream and run home! I think you are really great for trying to learn the skills to help you get along without letting your shyness stop you. I went to therapy to get help learning what to do to help me feel more comfortable, talk to people and make friends in these situations... this is what I learned and BELIEVE ME these things have helped A LOT!!

Stand up straight and look people in the eye. If you slouch and avoid eye contact other people will feel uncomfortable around you, just like you are feeling uncomfortable around them.

People like to feel like you are interested in them, ask questions like "I really like those earrings, did you get those at " or "That's a great shirt, that shade of blue is my favorite color, where did you get it?" or "Did you like that reading assignment? I thought it was... ~~~" and then LISTEN to the answer. Keep the conversation going by listening and asking questions that let the other person talk. "Wow, really?" , "That must have been fun!" , "Then what happened?" stuff like that.

Now, I seriously wouldn't worry about who is in what 'crowd'. You want to make friends with people that you share common interests. If you like sports, go to some games or try out for a team. Join an afterschool club, scouts, a church youth group... something. Sign up for Tai Kwan Do, or gymnastics or dance classes or if your family is Irish, Scottish, Italian or ??? there may be a cultural youth group locally that you can join. If one of your parents is a Police Officer, Firefighter, Military or ??? there may be a youth group for children or families of that profession.

Check you local library, ymca, ywca, boys and girls club and community center for clubs and classes you can join!

Good Luck!

Jen

Answer 2

I don't know what level you are in, but my guess is middle school. Worrying about what others think of you will ruin your school career, because you will never let loose and be yourself enough for anyone to like you, for who you really are. I know it is scary to not fit in, but fitting in with the "wrong for you" crowd is not the answer. Be who you are, and you will find friends that match you and your personality. You will have so much fun hanging out with them will be more enjoyable than being on the fringes of the "in" crowd. We all want to be popular, but make that our focus in school will leave you wanting more once you graduate.

You can also try any extra curricular activities (athletics, student council, or any other club on your campus) that you enjoy. That is an immediate group of friends who share a common interest!

Answer 3

First of all, there really IS no "in crowd." Trust me, I know. People tell me I'm in it, but I don't even think there is such a thing.

You decide to expand your circle of friends, and then you get your own crowd.

Most importantly, don't expect someone to tell you what to wear and what to say. Just keep doing what you're doing, and things will go from there.

As for making friends, just go up to one at a time, and say hi. Maybe if you catch them doing something you're interested in, like ... shopping, you can ask them questions about shopping, and so on.

Answer 4

Don't even worry about joining their crowd. Because once you get to college, or even high school if its big enough(or you're not already there) none of this will matter. I'm at a high school of about 6000 kids so theres too many people for there to be an "in" crowd. Just be yourself, if you have something to talk about with them, then you talk to them, but if not, don't worry and fret about finding something to talk to them about.

Answer 5

If you want to be part of the IN crowd, you are handing your life and thoughts over to them, instead of taking charge of your own life, yourself. Should they be making the decisions in your life, or should you? Will they be there to tell you what to do 20, 40, years from now?
You are in charge of you---you can't control them, you can only control yourself.
You do not have to be in a "crowd."

Answer 6

Its really easy to meet or break the ice with new people. For example . I can do simple but great magic tricks with my hands and when bored I'll go to the park or ice cream place or basketball court or just sit on the stairs in front of school (college for me ) and talk to myself and do tricks to impress me ..

Guarantee that people will gather around within seconds .

if you can Skate then find the trails where some of the in croud go to and don't do anything but wave if you see some of them . If your good do a trick .. tomorrow they'll start talking. Go shoot hoops if they or one of them plays at a court in your town .

In other words do something your good at around them but never try to gain their attention , let them come to you first unless they need a kleenex or bandaid
and (smile) brush your teeth and smile .. It drives people crazy when they can't figure why your in the good mood and their not ..

Got to go .. Byeee . Mikki

Answer 7

"they made you swear to watch out"? what's that meant to intend? I have had pinworms on and of from my third to my eleventh yr. The handiest process to relatively prevent it's through relatively consciously now not scratching your anus, however you realize nature meant it that manner. it itches! But once more, what the hell? why dont you inform your mother and father? practically every person will get pinworms. If you google house cures, you get plenty of outcome, so that you would wanna examine that out, I might recommendation getting a few prescription meds despite the fact that. they'll be long past in a few minutes

Answer 8

i have the same issue
i just sucked up my guts and went up to one of the clique and said, "hey, are those bongo jeans? i saw them in the mall the other day..." you know, casual conversation. then somehow wind it in that you sit next to their friend in math, and then ask if you can be on their team in PE.....
good luck

Answer 9

See this is what I hate people always trying to be popular just be yourself theres no point of hanging around with people you have nothing in common with.

Answer 10

plan your own life dont let or even worry about other peoples lives mind you own business and you will be fine being shy is ok it is self preservation. remember you have your own life.