How do I know for sure if a married woman is actually interested in me?

Question

I work with this amazing woman. It sounds corny, but she literally could be the woman of my dreams. The catch? She's married! Under normal circumstances, I'd run away fast, but we share so many common things, so many common ideals, that it's extremely difficult not thinking about her. She also sends out certain signals that tells me she's interested even though she's married (not happily, by the way). If she was single, I'd already know what to do, but I'm treading with the utmost caution because she is married and she's a coworker. What should I do?

Answer 1

Are you nuts? She's MARRIED! And truth of the matter is.. if she'd leave HIM for you, she'd leave you for someone else. This is a can of worms you don't want to get messed up in, even if she is desperately sending out "I want you" signals.

Let her work through her marriage problems... be a supportive friend (and no, that doesn't mean "Leave him, I'll take care of you."). Don't put yourself in the position to be the reason for a marriage to end.

Answer 2

I am sorry in advance for how horrible this may make you feel.
She is most likely using you to make herself feel good. You say she could be the woman of your dreams, so I guess you know her fairly well. If you know her that well, she would probably tell you if she was actively try to leave her unhappy marriage. If she isn't saying that, she isn't ready to go. She IS ready to have a great guy tell her that she is worthy of attention, and maybe a little flirting that makes her feel desirable. She is in a holding pattern, and wants someone to make her feel better while she drags her feet. You are a fab guy and she wants to keep you around, just in case. Of course this is all speculation on my part, but I know about this situation, in an opposite way.
My advice? Go be the awesome Guy you are around some single girls. Married ladies are too much to deal with. If you want to be her friend go for it. Until she is divorced, she is not right for you.

Answer 3

I really get a kick out these "Dear Abby Responses" like the one from EllisFan. That was 8 years ago, but I'll bet in the last 8 years she's thought about a married man. It's normal to think about it, but acting on it comes with risk. Do you really want to take that risk? If she's as great as you indicate, and she's giving you the green light, then go for it. Consenting adults are consenting adults. Just be careful, and don't let the morality police within these comments influence you.

Answer 4

Dum idea. The last thing you want to is get involved in someone's marriage. Ignore the "signals" if she approaches you tell her to go back to her husband. If she divorces then maybe you could involved. But in the mean time, assume she's off limits.

And even if she wasn't married, why would you want to get involved with someone who you work with? What a mess! If you break up it puts management in an awkward position. And both of you in an awkward situation. If you're together it puts you in an awkward position with gossip. With the fact that she's just not another coworker. It's a huge distraction for you.

Answer 5

DO NOT CROSS THAT LINE! Please there is nothing worse than getting involved with a married person at all! It may seem like you can come up with different excuses (i.e., she is unhappy, she is interested) etc. but the bottom line is she is married and not only is that a bad thing but also why do you want to settle or receive less in a relatiionship.

the woman of your dreams literally should be someone that is AVAILABLE to be the woman of your dreams.

Answer 6

2 major problems

1. she is married
2. she is a co-worker

You are looking at the double whammy on that one. A very definite lose/lose situation all the way around. Let it become clear to her that you are not interested in a relationship with her for a couple of reasons (see 1 & 2 above)

Answer 7

The first thing you should do is think about how you would feel if you were married to this beautiful, wonderful woman and another man came along and tried to be with her...I don't think you'd like that, would you?

Answer 8

This doesn't sound "corny". More like crazy! You should continue to "tread with the utmost caution" because she is not single. She is a married woman so try that for a "common ideal". So, catch yourself and get your head screwed back on your shoulders. Return from your dream world and get back to reality- pronto! Her marital discord is none of your concern. Go find a single woman who would be interested in you cause you are flirting with a dangerous situation. Office gossip spreads like wildfire so your potential affair would soon blow up in both your faces. This "woman of your dreams" will make your life a living nightmare so it would be best for you to "run away fast"

Answer 9

It does not matter if shes interested in you because she belongs to someone else her HUSBAND so even if she was interested in you how far do you expect to go with her and do you enjoy being second best by trying to pursue something with her you are sending her a clear message and that is not only do you not care about her marriage but that you are willing to lower yourself and become her puppet meaning you will lay by her rules and she will see you in her spare time which wont be very often good luck with this situation.

Answer 10

Hello! your missing something here, your in the wrong forum, try playboy! or some other sex forum. Get off that job and away from her. Years ago I could have killed you for doing this to my spouse, all the heartbreak you caused. You ended up with a broken nose and serious bleeding from the beating you got. The cops even agreed with me. The kids still look at her like she's on the make, after all these years she hasn't earned out trust.