I have a keylogger on my computer that my husband doesnt know about and I have discovered that he views ALOT of porno sites. Some of the sites that he views are similar to adult friend finder. What i have found in the keylogger doesnt indicate that he has accounts with these site, he just views them. I dont ever see user names or passwords typed in, just the screen shots. Is he up to no good and should i confront him or wait it out and take advantage of the keylogger and see if he eventually does more than just view them? (I've already known about this for 2 months) Or is it possible this is just a guy thing and as long as he don't have accounts with these sites, its no big deal? If i do confront him, I will never tell about the keylogger, he'll just have to wonder how I know what I know.
2006-10-22 14:28:12 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think it's a big deal. He is just looking, be glad that's all he's doing.
2006-10-22 14:30:12 · answer #1 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've run through the same problem a few years back. Turned out I started a HUGE fight over a man going to view porn. That's it. If you don't trust him and think that he's actually logging on and interacting with people then you are in need of some marriage counselling. Why the keylogger? Has there been a problem in the past that has made you suspicious? I personally don't have an issue with a b/f or husband viewing porn. I do have an issue with exchanging emails, deleting the computer history and sending pics of themselves. Mention this to him and see how he responds. Mine was angry that I was spying (hey what other word do you use) but showed me what he was looking at and saw that it was just pictures being viewed nothing more.
Spying only leads to your dissapointment, to make things work you need trust. If you don't have it now work on getting it back. The first step is to be honest with him and see how he responds back.
2006-10-22 21:42:37 · answer #2 · answered by Dick Tater 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...I would probably wait it out a little longer so that you can take full advantage of the keylogger. My husband looks at Porn alot too, and I actually asked a question here about whether or not his porn viewing is acceptable or not (you may want to check out the answers that I got...). What I found is that most men look at porn, some more than others, and it isn't really that much of a problem unless it starts moving toward cheating--emails, picture exchanging, or even meeting in person. So, viewing the "Adult Friend Finder" site is the only thing that really sends up red flags in my opinion. Wait it out a little and see what he does, but eventually, you are going to have to confront him about it.
2006-10-22 21:37:46 · answer #3 · answered by missapparition 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you just discovered that your keylogger has shown him visiting porno sites and ask him what is going on. It might not be a big deal—though embarrassing for him.
2006-10-22 21:33:19 · answer #4 · answered by DrB 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WoW! I went through that 'drama' with my soon to be ex husband because I failed to take advantage of addressing him some of my concerns from day one. Honestly, if this is truly a concern of yours you really need to communicate from the beginning how it makes you feel when he goes to these sites. Ask him to help you understand what it is that he tries to gain by accessing and 'browsing' these types of sites. Tell him how it makes you feel when he goes there. Whatever you do try not to give away your source...but then again you can always go to your 'cookies' to see what sites he's visited if doesn't erase his tracks. What I'm trying to tell you is....if you don't communicate this concern to him from the beginning you're just asking for disappointment down the road. If you wait and find him in the 'act'--- you need to tell or ask yourself what you're willing to lose, and if you're ready for the repercussions when he does do the unthinkable. I hope this helps.
2006-10-22 21:36:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's more than likely just looking at the hot bods that pop up. If he starts using credit cards to access, you may have something to worry about. In the bigger scheme of things, and if you ever opened one of these sites...another 100 pop in without his control (no defence on his part though). On the other hand, it may not hurt to mention that sex sites have been poping up while you're on the computer...saying..I hope you're not looking at that crap (like you'd be dispapointed if he were). Leave it at that unless you don't see anything different in the coming months...............then you'll have to go to phase two!!!!
2006-10-22 21:39:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If a man is gonna cheat, he is gonna cheat no matter what. It sounds like you have some insecurities going on here. Get rid of the keylogger and do not try and spy on your husband. If you dont you are gonna have major problems. And as for looking at porn, who cares. At least he is not going out looking else where. Try looking at porn together to put some spice in your marriage. My boyfriend looks at porn with and without me and I do not mind at all.
2006-10-22 21:34:37 · answer #7 · answered by awagner1971 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Every man at sometime in his life has viewed porno. It's a Man thing. If you have a Strong bond in your marriage I would just forget it. If he doesn't get the sex he wants from you this may be his way of getting sexual satisfaction. Show him more love and attention and make yourself beautiful for him. and don't spy on him. If he finds out this would be disastrous.
2006-10-22 21:53:56 · answer #8 · answered by pauleshe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is probably a guy thing...wait it out for a while until you see he has accounts with the sites. if you don't mention the keylogger, he will probably deny anything and everything until dooms day. good luck!
2006-10-22 21:32:55 · answer #9 · answered by lwaite74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a lot of porn sites have links to the type of sites you listed. it probably is nothing but interest in seeing women without clothes. its a man thing, you wouldn't understand no matter how long an explanation is. man is VERY visual and interested in seeing women naked. we don't even know why. it just is.
too bad you distrust him so much you have to have a program to watch him.
2006-10-22 22:00:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a bad bad bad, bad situation. My ex husband was doing the same thing to me. This is a huge trust issue. He didnt trust me a lick, but he had reason to, i was cheating on him. But the computer was a huge source of conflict. If you love him and trust him, you would stop it immediately and delete the program. It will be very bad if he finds out without you telling him.
2006-10-22 21:43:05 · answer #11 · answered by magickitty0621 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋