I dont have problems meeting women. Infact Ive had a couple girlfriends, and yes a lot of opportunity to have sex. The problem is I havent taken them. Ive been brought up catholic, and think premartial sex is dirty, and subconsciously define the act of "sex" as with exclusive between a man and a woman. I bring this up because I dont have problems getting oral sex from men. For me, Im just having fun and not participating in it.. (SAD, and Illogical, but thats how I think of it) Also, with the STDs these days, its almost a life and death situation who youd sleep with. Believe me I tried hard to fix my way of thinking but its hard to go against your grain. So im wondering if all this mental inhibitions in my mind would turn me gay soon. What do you think? I dont mean any offense to any gay person. Im just asking for advice. thanks!
2006-10-22 14:15:19 · 14 answers · asked by dustin m 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Oh, my dear one, you are in a bit of a dilemma. Being Gay is not a mental problem. It's a state of being. You could be homosexual, or you might be bisexual. This is something you'll have to figure out for yourself. Obviously you're not attracted by the Ladies or you probably would have (Catholic or not) had tried it by now. You said you've had oral sex from other men. Go gently with yourself and figure out who you are (it's not "what", dearheart, it's who) Blessings, my son.
2006-10-22 14:25:06 · answer #1 · answered by Mama Otter 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You obviously enjoy receiving oral sex from other men and it seems that these men enjoy giving you oral sex and do not expect you to reciprocate in any way. If you do not enjoy this activity then you need to try to stop otherwise you are likely to remain confused and unhappy. From what you say it is unlikely that you will ever become gay, it is clear that you are not emotionally capable of any sexual contact at the moment, hopefully this will change as you become more mature and you find the woman for you.
2006-10-25 12:56:47 · answer #2 · answered by paul h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How convenient for denial that you believe the definition of sex is exclusively intercourse between a man and a woman. Makes is pretty easy to think of oral sex with men as ok... because it isn't actually sex. Sex is between a man and a woman... so oral between men must be something else.
It's sex, dude. Your mental inhibitions aren't turning you gay... you are just realizing you are more homosexual than you thought.
2006-10-23 09:35:43 · answer #3 · answered by Dustin Lochart 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guess is that you might be bisexual but I doubt very much you are homosexual. It sounds to me like you use these guys who "give" as buddies who help you to release sexual tension. I am not picking up from you that you yourself are sexually attracted to men to the point where you would start performing oral sex on them.
The inhibitions you have learned can't really turn you into anything. However, they can have a drastic effect on both your social life with the ladies as well as your developing sexual life. Some straight (and bi) guys do get addicted to having other men perform on them, orally. It's quick, it feels good, and it can be very validating that another man is so attracted to your penis, the part of our anatomies that most men use to define our masculinity.
My suggestion is that you talk this over with a trusted counselor, even one through the church. I would not discuss this particular issue with a priest unless he has had training in counseling -- a degree in it, I mean. Lots of priests and ministers counsel when they don't have the credentials to do so. Be careful.
2006-10-23 02:53:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you allow a male to give you oral sex, you are not heterosexual. You are either homosexual or bisexual. You don't turn to something, you can choose to live however you wish but that won't change what you feel inside.
Having anything sexual with someone of the same gender moves you out of the realm of pure heterosexual as well as celibacy. You say you have dated and could have had sex with women and if that were what you truly wanted you would have had oral sex with them and not men. You should be concerned about STD's, they can be spread orally. It's not bad to be homosexual or bisexual, you may have to step out of your "religious safety zone" to look at what you truly feel. Sex is not bad. I agree it should be saved for that special someone, though in a same sex relationship you can't legally marry currently in the USA except in Mass., you can still be in a committed monogamous relationship. You have clearly already stepped outside of your "religion zone" since oral sex of any sort is considered a sin by the catholic church as is masturbation. So instead of using it as an excuse find within yourself who you really are and who you want to be.
2006-10-23 00:51:07 · answer #5 · answered by chocolate sundae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not 'turn' gay. Being gay is having an attraction to the same sex only. When you say "Im just having fun and not participating in it" you are denying that it is a sexual act. You are either attracted to the same sex and only want to have sex with men, are attracted to the opposite sex and only want to have sex with women, or are attracted to both. Whatever images you think about when you engage in oral sex is most likely your preference, but oral sex is still sex.
2006-10-22 21:57:36 · answer #6 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're a typical male in denial. if you always get sex from men you're at the very least bi (probably gay) whether you s*ck d*ck or not you ARE participating. so no you wont turn gay soon you're already there. so what there's nothing wrong with it, but you're keeping your emotional life separate from your sex life because you scared (subconsciously or not) of being with a man and what that means to your life and faith. there are no easy answers here, but you need to do some soul searching here. i have a question, do you ask for forgiveness for being with men? or do you hide it even from Gods representative on earth. i don't mean to bust your chops but you shouldn't use religion as a convenience when it suits you. you need to live one open honest life (whatever that life may be) but until you figure out these issues please don't date a woman. it's not fair or honest till you know what you want.
2006-10-23 03:22:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't you know you can get some stds from oral sex as well. If someone with a cold sore gives you oral sex, you can contract genital herpes. Anything worth having is worth waiting for. Sex is SEX no matter what kind it is. Fool yourself maybe but it will not stop biology. You don't become gay. You either are or you are not. I would advise that you stay away from all sex for awhile & pray. Your mind & body will tell you what your true orientation is.
2006-10-22 21:22:35 · answer #8 · answered by mazell41 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You cannot turn gay by choosing to not have sex before you are ready. When you are ready and its the right person, your fears will dissipate. My daughter is 23, a virgin, and intends to remain that way until she finds the partner she wants to share that part of herself with. And for those that care, this is a personal standard, not one devised from a religions need to control and create fear. You are fine, don't worry about it.
2006-10-22 21:24:42 · answer #9 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try recieving oral pleasure from a woman and see which one turns you on the most.
2006-10-22 21:55:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋