What should I do? Best Answer gets 10 points?

Question

Okay I'm 2 months pregnant and 17 years old..My is really confusing me one min he's all happy then yesterday he was like man we not ready for a baby I know i'm not ready but I'm not getting and abortion he said i need to what if we don't be together I said well i'm going to raise the baby with or without you. Then he had the nerves to say if you love me you would I said you know i love you but no. I feel also if he don't have any consideration in my feelings and I haven't talk to him today I just want to know what should I do. Have the the baby and leave him alone or what.

Answer 1

#1....never make life changing decisions in moments of high stress.

You need to be concerned for the health & safety of you and your baby right now. Take care of YOU and don't worry about your boyfriend right now. Nothing you can do will change your boyfriend. After your baby is born then you can concentrate on if you all should be a family or what you feel is best for you and your baby.

Answer 2

Okay......having and keeping a baby and having an abortion are not the only options. The third option is to have this baby and give it up for adoption. You're awful young to have a child but if you are SURE this is what you want then what your boyfriend wants should be less of a consideration than what you're making of it. I know that's going to get some bad reactions but it's ultimately you having this child and it sounds to me like he's emotionally blackmailing you as his feelings become more and more desperate and his confusion gains momentum. Please, seek the counseling of Planned Parenthood. Talk to the pros. They'll really help guide you through the uncertainties and thoroughly explore your options with you, ALL of your options. They'll put you in touch with all kinds of community support for any decision you make. I will say this: It's hard to raise a child singlehandedly. Unless you are prepared to do it completely on your own as a worst case scenario, and without any emo or financial support from baby daddy, then you probably shouldn't keep this baby. But if you are prepared, if you can support this child with DEDICATED help or well enough on your own (and you need to educate yourself on just what a baby's and toddler's and child's and teenager's needs are) then I think you can safely consider being a mother at this stage in your life. You also need to maintain a level of maturity that few 17 yr olds truly are able to maintain. Being a single mother at a very young age means sacrificing nights out with the girls if your baby needs diapers or formula. It means a change of plans all the way around if your child is sick. If none of your other friends have babies, then you might feel quite isolated by your decision and you'll have to work to not feel resentment toward your baby because your baby didn't get a say in whether or not you kept him/her. You will need to be strong and tough and tender and patient.

The easy part is loving your child. You will find that you'll kill or die for your child, without hesitation. The hard part is the day to day living.

If you choose to terminate your pregnancy, it is your own business. Nobody needs to know that this is what happened. You can always just say you miscarried. I'm speaking to you as a woman, not a judge and jury. I'm not going to put my moral spin on this decision because it is the sole decision of one woman and that woman is you.

If you choose to have this child and adopt it out, you will almost certainly give this child a much better life, right from the get-go, than you are able to provide. You can even select the parents.

For the record, I've had an abortion (got pregnant the stupid way, didn't use birth control), given a child up for adoption (used condoms but they don't make them steel-belted so they DO break) and now have a child that I've kept. Having lived the 3 choices, I still do not feel qualified to tell you what you should do. I can only say that if getting pregnant was irresponsible and, let's face it, it was.....then you need to make a responsible, INFORMED decision and in order to do that, you need to go where the information is. Do make an appt. with Planned Parenthood and make it first thing tomorrow. We're talking the rest of your life here and possibly the rest of a child's life. The gathering of information is worthy of priority attention.

Answer 3

Honey, I'm sorry you are going through this. I had an almost identical conversation with my son's father. I was 27 at the time. It doesn't get better from here. When I walked away from him when I was 5 months pregnant, I never should have gone back to him. And I wish I hadn't.

If you want to have and raise your baby, then you have every right to do so. DO NOT let him force you to do anything you don't want to do. And once you make your decision, DO NOT get back with him. And make sure that you go through social services to get as much help in securing child support as you can. DON"T make the same mistake I did and go back to him. If you want to raise your baby then do that. If he decides later that he wants to be a part of his child's life, then make him fight for it. But do not make this easy for him, because it won't be easy on you being a single mom.

Answer 4

Sounds like you know whats up. He's scared and confused and doesn't know what to think or how to feel. Pretend like he's the one with the hormonal overload. He'll probably go back and forth for awhile. He's a child being slammed with responsibility and he's not ready to grow up, but you probably aren't either. Is anyone every really ready? His manipulation attempts are fear driven and he's getting desperate and doesn't know what to do. Obviously he doesn't like not being in control and scared of the responsibilities and lack of freedom a baby brings. He's too busy spazing out to consider your feelings right now, maybe you shouldn't take it personally (unless it continues). It's an individual decision to have a baby, but I wouldn't advise allowing it to be his decision alone. Give him some time, maybe time will guide you or maybe this is how he will always be. You will never know. Wish you the best, you sound like a very strong young lady.

Answer 5

His actions show just how immature he is. Having a baby is a big responsibility that obviously neither one of you at this age are prepared for. I do give you credit for wanting to raise your baby with or without him. You are not the first and won't be the last single mom. If he doesn't want to help than leave him alone. You will need all you attention on your baby. I'm sure you're going to need him to help you financially and you shouldn't let him off the hook. Your baby will be worth ALL your efforts.

Answer 6

Alot is going on here. He is young like you? I would say, cut him some slack, he's never done this before and is just stubbling along. Encourage him to be a great dad, and no matter what a baby will love a Daddy deeply if a man tries at it. Do also tell him that he means the world to you and that you are so excited and scared too about the baby, but honored that you and him have created it. It's a hard road- but if you both lean on eachother, you both can stand! Just chalk up arguments to inexperience, and it's okay to say sorry and try again and again.

Answer 7

DO NOT HAVE AN ABORTION!!!! there are so many families out there willing to adopt your baby, he's just freaking out because he's not ready and thinks that that is the easiest way out. please don't punish your baby for his mistakes. If you think you can raise the baby then do it without him, if you don't think you can than give it up for adoption. If you have an abortion you will regret it, you will have to live with the thought of killing your own flesh and blood for the rest of your life. this isn't something you can just forget about, this is a major decision!!! good luck! and i hope you make the right choice.

Answer 8

I believe you should have the baby and raise the child without him involved just take him to court for paternity and make him pay child support he was man enough to make the baby he needs to spend the next 18 to 21 years being the man supporting the baby if he isnt man enough to say hey lets do this together then he aint worth it. so you should raise your child and go on with your life with out the father if he wants in on your life then let him see the baby but make sure you have everything in writitng and done through the courts i know its hard to think of that but it is for the best and congratulations on being a mommy

Answer 9

Girl,
You go to do what you think is right. You have to ask yourself a few questions.

1. Do you think you can raise a baby?

2. Do you really want to put it up for abortion?

3. Would it be easier to put the baby up for adoption?

4. Do you really want the baby?

5. Do you love your boy fiend and if so is it worth losing your baby?

I know I would put the baby up for adoption. I know 12 my parrents would kill me but I don't think a person should lose their life before it starts. I would rather know that my child is safe than wonder if I can feed it tomorrow.

Answer 10

DO NOT get an abortion...if your boyfriend wasnt ready to risk you getting pregnant in the first place then he shouldnt of had sex with you... Its a horrible thing to bring a child into this world for your own pleasure and then kill it. What you should do is have the baby and leave him alone... if hes not willing to take care of the child or be there for the child then hes not worth it...