Lesbian: greater chance of finding love?

Question

Lesbian: greater chance of finding love?
I mean no offense and I really am interested in lesbianism as a study and to understand my motives for being interested. My motive for asking this question is: when I observe lesbians, they aren't usually the most physically attractive... Do you think that being lesbian could POSSIBLY be a CHoice? What I mean is, are some lesbians...lesbians because they are rejected by men? My speculation is that lesbians are androgynous in general, which means... they are neither very feminine or very masculine. They are actually and surprisingly versatile and both. I think the average lesbian could possibly be more intellectually inclined than heterosexual average female. And because if the closet lesbian is presented to the general male population, since she is androgynous, will NOT be generally appealing over average very feminine women. What do you all think of all this? Anything you find you agree? Please, my only aim is to understand IF there possibly

Answer 1

I don't think so. My sister is drop dead gorgeous. When she came out, it was a big shocker. She's so beautiful, she had every guy salivating over her. We always wondered why she didn't bother with them at all. Now we know.

Lesbians, like ALL women, are very varied. Sometimes a gorgeous woman is a lesbian, sometimes a plain-jane or even unattractive woman is. Sometimes a beautiful girl is a genius, other times she's empty-headed. Nice people can be pretty or ugly, smart or dim, religious or not. Lesbians can be any of those things; there's not really a rule about it.

What worries me about your posting is that you're making generalizations. It's always tempting to make generalizations because if you can just think up a reason or a rule about things, then you can make them easier to understand. But think of it this way: Is there ONE reason that you feel the way you do about brussels sprouts? Do all people who like/dislike brussels sprouts share your one reason? Is it helpful to make a rule about brussels sprouts?

The world isn't easy to understand and that's part of what makes it so interesting. Just accept that there are different strokes for different folks, and that different folks don't necessarily conform to any stereotype.

Answer 2

I do believe lesbianism is a choice. In my opinion, all sexuality is a choice, although you can't choose what turns you on.

From personal experience, it just isn't true that most lesbians are androgynous. Some are, but there are ultra-femmes and studly, masculine butches and there are averages feminine ones and my oh my. They come all shapes and sizes. They come pretty. They come ugly. They come smart and they come stupid. And believe me, you aren't a lesbian just because you are rejected by men. Goodness gracious! That would be a sad state of affairs if it were so. They are lesbians because they are attracted to women.

Now, I do think it's interesting that there are different aesthetics in lesbian culture, or at least some of them (there are vapid and shallow beauty seekers everywhere). I've noticed that there is often a much wider range of acceptance- even outright love of- larger size, which is generally shunned in heterosexual circles. Certainly butch/masculine builds and faces are loved and found attractive. Typical mainstream beauty isn't the ideal, and I like that. I'd be more interested in exploring these aspects.

Final thoughts: lesbians come in all shapes in sizes. There are some very gorgeous ones (i.e. feminine and straight-looking, for those who only find that gorgeous)! They aren't necessarily androgynous, many are at extreme ends of the gender spectrum. They aren't all smarter, for goodness' sake. And there are many men who actually like adrogynous or even butch women. There are men who love tomboys or 'tough girls' and I've heard stories from butch lesbians who have been hit on by straight men. So that's something else to keep in mind as well.

Answer 3

First of all, people in general, especially after a certain age are not particularly attractive in the general sense. As you mature in age, hopefully, you learn what beauty is and you are able to look past the surface, but that takes growing up.

Also, I've never known a heterosexual man who would pass up sex with a woman just because she wasn't attractive.

I don't think Lesbians are any more intellectually inclined than straight or bi women, but I do think their issues are different at times. I think creating divisive ways to separate women into pigeon holes does nothing for the community of women at large.

Answer 4

how often have you actually "observed" any lesbians? how many have you actually met? you say you mean no offense, and yet you post the same insulting stereotyping/generalizing questions we see everyday. we aren't usually the most physically attractive? most of the ones I've met are. we don't all fit that stereotype of masculine/androgynous. most of us are quite feminine and look like most straight women. you can't "tell" most of us by looking at us. No, I've never been rejected by men, nor do I hate men. I'm simply not physically attracted to them. I have quite a few male friends.
I do not agree with anything you say. you need to actually meet and get to know more lesbians before making any further generalizations....

Answer 5

I have a couple of lesbian friends, and have met a few of their friends. Some of them are very androgynous, but more of them are not than are. And, some of those who appear androgynous quite deliberately dress and act that way--they could be pretty if they wanted to. There are some very attractive, feminine women amongst them. Definitely not intellectuals, though I do think some of them tend to be more inclined to have better/more life experience for their age. I think some may tend to be loners in early life, and learn to go out and experience things on their own more readily because of that.

Answer 6

Sounds to me like you may have been turned down by a woman and found out she was a lesbian-is this it? Because you are very wrong with your post-women turn to other women for various reasons,not because men don't want them,everyone knows men really don't care what you look like if you are willing to let them have it-thats just men! I have seen women i would have never known was a lesbian-it just goes to show looks don't mean anything-you could have a real tom-boy looking and acting girl that is very straight.

Answer 7

I have never thought of myself as being the hottest person on the planet. That award goes to the wife. Neither one of us has ever had a problem attracting men or women. We just knew we wanted to be with women. I don't think looks plays much of a part here.

Answer 8

Our society stereotypes Lesbians as butch , skin head dyke's man...

Real life we are just as normal as everyone else, if you chose to be butch cool, girlii girli cool...

I myself am a professional whom unless i didn't tell people i was gay, would and do think I'm hetro (lol how wrong), i have long hair and I'm V V girly ....

At the end of the day you are who you are, people always judge your dress, looks everything , in reality no one really knows only that person , knows the true feelings and life they live.

Answer 9

I'm not trying to attract a man so I'm not what the magizines calls hot, but in my closetted days I had no trouble finding a guy and neither did my girlfriend. Trust me, we're hot.

Answer 10

no no no no no i think I'm pretty hot and i have seen allot of hot lesbians that look like super models. i cant even finish reading your question because your already off to a really bad judgmental start!!