Today I told my aunt that I broke up with my boyfriend because although I loved him and he was the best guy with me, I felt there was something missing, I was not "in Love". And she told me: "that does not exist, is not like when you were younger, and felt a lot of passion and butterflies, don´t expect that, because you will never feel it again, it is different now" And honestly I was crushed and that is why I am here writing desperately to you, so I can hear from you that my dreams of being really in-love can still come true or that I am a romantic doomed for failure because of my expectations.
2006-10-22 13:40:22 · 24 answers · asked by colors 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No way! You can fall in love you just didn't with him! Remember you will get lots of answers because people look at things differently. Your Aunt didn't give you a wrong / or right answer but it wasn't what you were expecting probably. I'm sure you were dissappointed. Sometimes we have our hopes or expectations up too high and then we really get upset when things seem to fall through. Let things happen in there own time and then when it does you will be really in-love and be that romantic person. Keep your head up and be ready.
2006-10-22 13:48:38 · answer #1 · answered by ddy'sgrl77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your aunt is so wrong. I was told several years ago that I was incapable of loving or being in love. Well I changed myself cuz for some reason I was attracted to and I attracted liars, cheats and thieves. What I did was I moved out of state, I did the on line dating thingy and met over 30 women in less then 6 months. Finally when I was about to give up, I met this woman that when we met and saw each other for the first time we hugged and I'll be damned it jerked a tear out of the both of us. My head was swimming, I got all flustered like when I was a kid, sweaty palms and the whole bit and I'm 50. We sat and talked for hours, 4 to be exact. When we had to go she asked me if it was alright if she stop her searching for her soul mate......we do believe that we are truly soul mates, simply by the way we were brought together, there's more to this story that lead to our meeting then I could explain. I have never before been in love cuz the feelings that I feel for her i have never felt before....there is nothing familiar about these feeling......there scare but at the same time they are overwhelming, and undescriptive. This woman has changed my life in so many ways that again I couldn't list everything in this space.........again you aunt is wrong.....it's far better then I could ever imagine. We get into very deep conversations and whatever we do the time flies by really fast. It's been almost 2 years now and we are strong.........one thing that has helped us is that there is no pressure, we don't live together, and sex does not play a role in our relationship. When we get married then the whole sex thingy will become a very tiny part, but our relationship isn't determined by the physical, it's determined by our spiritual beliefs.
2006-10-22 14:05:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 56 and love and passion are better than the first time around.
The drawback is that in love as you get older and feel hurt, as people age they can become jadded. And be so hurt that they don't want to risk the loss again. Even with the hurt, there can be amazing love and passion. The really hard part is finding the right partner because as people age they know more what they DON't want and do want.
Your aunt is part right and part wrong. We all make choices in how we live life, it can either be wonderful or misserable.
To me romance & passion are incredable. The fairytale life isn't what we think it is. We get illusions and expectations that let us down.We think the other person will fill our life full and that they will be who we want them to be and make us happy. When the truth is that we need to be able to stand on their own. Only then can we be happy with someone else.
Love is still there. It just needs wisdom and work. Have mutual expectations.
And if I am 56 can get butterflys and passion then....I figure I always will.
Never give up on love. And I do hope that your aunt finds it again.
2006-10-22 13:55:45 · answer #3 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It will definitely happen again when you find the right person for you. You will experience the butterflies and all those crazy yet out of this world feelings. Your expectations may not be the same as when you were young but nevertheless falling in love after 35 might even be more intense now. Good Luck!
2006-10-22 13:50:08 · answer #4 · answered by Cruella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll be celebrating my 8th year "first date" anniversary with my husband next week. I'm 51. Falling in love feels the same... and you feel a bit more foolish then in the younger years... but you still feel on cloud nine when it happens. Note, however, that those first exciting dates give way to a comfortable and more mature love as the years go on (no matter what age you are). So if you want a long-term relationship expect the passion to calm (but that's ok).
2006-10-22 13:46:49 · answer #5 · answered by mJc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure you can fall in love with someone, but I don't think its the same feeling as if we were younger. Because at the beginning of any relationship there is passion and romance but it fades even though the love is still there. You romantic expectations may be a wee bit high.
2006-10-22 13:45:01 · answer #6 · answered by Brezzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I"m gonna have to say yes, cuz I dont think ive ever been in love before, even though ive had many relations. Ive always settled and thats why i never had the girl ive always wanted. 2 years ago I finally decided that I wont commit until i find the woman im happy with. Well it finally happened and i was 35 at the time. The love i feel is not like puppy love but more like an mature adult feeling but she completes me. I can look at her and feel confident that this is the one i want to spend the rest of my life with. Slow songs make me think of her. I will always be faithful cuz i dont want to hurt her. I didnt think I would find the one but it happened when i least expected it.
2006-10-22 13:51:08 · answer #7 · answered by CDog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would probably question my fear of commitment if I had continually done this, but if that's not an issue, your aunt is full of hooey.
I found my soul mate at the age of 49, even after other relationships and a marriage with children. This person completes me in a way no one ever has, and if anything is different its the maturity to know myself well enough to not allow myself to make the same mistakes I did in the past. Other than that, its been wonderful.
2006-10-22 13:51:25 · answer #8 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Falling in love at any age is like falling in love all over again. You're willing to open up and old wound and take the chance of getting hurt. You're putting yourself in a position where someone in your life is just as important to you as your other loved ones like family. It is like when you're younger... you do end up feeling like a little kid again. If that wasn't so, then how come some people do find love later in life... and some get divorced and remarried to different people and say it was so much better that time.
2006-10-22 13:44:06 · answer #9 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am on your side, it IS different as we get a little older. But we love for different reasons as we mature. At a young age we lust more than love. Tingles and butterflies at a young age feel good, because we don't know any different. As we get a little older, we realize that communication, understanding, caring, giving, loving are more important than butterflies. I have 12 yrs. on you and just got married yes again this past June and feel great. I don't know exactly what you are looking for but you will know when the right man comes along. Good Luck
2006-10-22 13:46:43 · answer #10 · answered by bonbon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋