How do I avoid becoming a crusty old man?

Question

I am 42 and single with four kids I am becoming bitter at the world.
I know I can see it in myself .
My skin has warn thin .
I don't want to be crusty I was always relaxed and easy going in my twenties.
I'm not now. I have become crusty.
So if you answer this, best you tell me to get a hold of myself .
I already no that so don't use that angle.
See now I'm crusty about waisting five points and I havn't even submitted the question.

Answer 1

Same here, man.

I am cranky, afraid of stuff I never used to be, a worry wart, a scold and a spoil sport. I am always poised to say "turn it off" or "enough already" almost no matter what it is. Music is all too loud, lights are all too bright. I am there man.

Part of it's getting older. But another part is not having things go your way often enough. THAT will flat hard boil your attitude. At work I lose every argument to my boss all day long. Then, I come home and lose to everybody there. I never used to see myself as a loser who never gets his way. But when you do eventually feel that way, it's as if you then say "Look: I'm as good as you. And if I get told no, YOU'RE going to get told no. If I don't win, by god, you aren't going to get by THAT easy, either. --I'll see to that alright, Skippy"

This is confession without any sort of closure or cleansing release. It's the awful, owned truth, is what it is.

There.

Answer 2

I believe getting crusty is only a state of mind. If we grow older believing we "know" more as we go on, and especially that everything is getting worse than it used to be, we become crusty. When we are overcome by change, and hate it, we become crusty. We also become more negative, depressed, and stay angry..

I had to re-train my mind to look at what I have to be grateful for, realize everything at this moment is exactly the way it is supposed to be, accept the reality of it all. I hated change; I also could not stand myself in those crusty moods. When I started changing my attitudes, I began to appreciate the changes in me. I am a happier person. I swore I would never use a computer, yet here I am playing know-it-all most night5s and enjoying life. I also had to realize I do NOT know as much as I thought I did (and do).. That every time I was angry or upset, that the5re was something wrong in me. You are already realizing that.

I am 62, have some health problems, the "stuff" machine is working as hard as ever, I still have some emotional problems, and my standard of living has never been this low. Because I can have a better attitude, I am having the best years of my life right now.I finally have some peace of mind, self respect, a caring attitude, and am seldom really mad. And I see this happening all around me. (lots of us old farts in Florida)

It is really simple, tho not easy. You can to this; I doubt anyone was as stubborn with change as I was. The best of luck, and don't give up on yourself. I hope I have helped.

And by the way, How important are those damned points? Enough to give you heartburn, maybe? let it go, man.

Answer 3

Well what can I say it has all been said with very good advice from most of the people
If you don't want to feel crusty as you put it... volunteer work will truly make you feel great!! it will renew you so to speak
pick something that you think you will like helping out in & go for it
helping others is so rewarding
& your skin has not worn thin at 42 you are still young
you are a pup.you have donkey years ahead of you
take up bike riding & join a bike club
you only have to be able to ride it & not be good at it.. they go on camps etc & you will meet new people & get rid of the crust at the same time by getting fit ha ha !!
good luck
& don't call yourself names

Answer 4

well don't think like a crusty man, and continue to live like your age isn't getting any higher than 42. Don't watch mtv, don't go buy a shiny new sports car, but maybe you should be a little more happier about getting older, and wiser. You have more experience than most young people probably. Oh, and don't resort to smoking weed, cuz then you'll be a crusty old pot-head, with no life but you and your 4 kids.

Answer 5

It really starts with your attitude. You need to find what has caused you to be so negitive and try to not let those things get to you anymore. Start looking at the glass being half full, instead of half empty. Could you possibly be depressed? This can have a great impact on the way you feel and look about things.
Here is a site that may help you to look at what is causing you to turn into that crusty, old man:
http://walking.about.com/cs/fitnesswalking/a/bepositive.htm

Good luck!

Answer 6

Kevin, Life is what you make it. You have to be positve in every aspect of your life and slowly things will get better. It is all a state of mind. I know I been there done that.

I read a book that absolutely changed my life and it can change yours too, I promise. Please read it and do the little lessons.
It is called: The Luck Factor by Dr. Richard Wiseman. He did much research on how luck plays out in a persons life and how some people have wonderful lives and how others are on a downward spiral. You can turn it around but you have to take action right now, not later, immediately.
If you dont you will start taking your bitterness out on your kids and everyone around you. Dont you think your kids pick up on your unhappiness, they do, and it can rub off on them to. Kids can become a mirror image of their parents.

If you wont read this book, please get help. At 42 you still have a wonderful life ahead waiting for you. Believe me, I am older than you and my life is an absolute riot and getting better all the time.

God Bless

Answer 7

Gee, and to think at first I thought this might be a dermatology type query...

Well crusty one - you might want to take an inventory of what is stressing you out. And I mean "SPECIFICALLY" not in generalities.

For e.g.: are you not getting enough sleep because one of your children has an illness or is a baby?

For e.g.: are you not able to date because you're playing the role of working fulltime, and running the children around to soccer and whatnot in every one of your spare waking hours?

For e.g.: are you missing having meaningful intimacy? or heck, just SOME intimacy, with an adult counterpart because you have no time/location for it?

Bottom line: try and take stock of what exactly it is that is contributing to your stress level, your reason for characterizing yourself as "crusty" (42! dang! you're a PUPPY dude*!) and your worldview turning bitter. Then set about DOING something about each - one at a time. Start with small steps...but DO start.

*I took up snowboarding at 40 y/o. Found I was/am good at it! It gets me outside, helps me relate to my younger relatives, is great exercise, etc! You're only 42; get OUT into life with your children and make some space/time for yourself without them also.

Best wishes to you!!!

Answer 8

You are 42 years young.

Think of taking a shower..in your mind.........remove the crust.........then remember you are changing....and embrace what you are becoming, yes changing daily............................you have no need to be "crusty" ...because you can learn how to develop spiritually....and then you will learn that you are serving yourself and your 4 children.
.............Learn to appreciate yourself, You are definitely worth it!

Best of luck...in your continued development...see you are on the right track, because you can see what you don't want in your life...and you are making the right choices to say, NOPE...I don't like that, so I'm choosing not to be that way...now take a deep breath, and laugh at youself...yes a big laugh...and remember your smile is free and you can give it to anyone...especially to your mirror when you look back when you're 56.....like me at how you took yourself too seriously at 42....and I'm still laughing ..

Answer 9

You need to remind yourself of the positives in life.

Don't try to fight ageing - no one wins this battle.

Get some goals in life and try to acheive them. Small chunks at first and reward yourself for achievements.

Be positive and buy a book if you need to but get out there and live life rather than looking backwards and thinking you are just existing.

Life is what you make it - so make it excellent...now!

Answer 10

Find a love... not a person but something that is for you, only you. A hobby, a group, a job, a habit, a class, a church, an organization, something that you can give something of yourself too. To make you feel good and useful and gives you something to look forward to. It needs to be something that you believe in.

Volunteer, offer your services, talk to people. I wish you well.