i had a abortion.what about boyfriend???????

Question

i had a abortion this year in jan. with an ex and now im with my boyfriend who i really care about and i was thinking about telling him but i dont want him to know... but i dont wantthis to backfire on me at any point in our relationship. what do you think?? thanx n only serious answers only or i will report you.... thanx again

Answer 1

Why would abort a baby? Were you raped? Was the baby going to be handicapped? or are you another selfish person who just feels you weren't ready.Don't care if you report me.I'll just back on in another name! If you were raped or something you shouldn't be ashamed to tell your boyfriend about it.And this is the past,so you should just tell him now so he won't feel like you were keeping things from him.And if he can't accept something that has happened in the past then he doesn't need you.Last but not least,how could it backfire? What kind of sick person would want to blackmail a female about an abortion.Thats just,sicko.

Answer 2

Don't let those anti-abortionists here make you feel bad. You did what you felt was the best choice. There's nothing wrong with that.

My opinion? Your new boyfriend doesn't need to know. If you don't want him to know, don't tell him. You're entitled to keep such a secret.

About the backfiring: Consider how many people know about your abortion and how many of those people are ruthless enough to blab it to you new man. Also think about how he'd react if he finds out. If you're honestly afraid he'd think less of you for having an abortion, perhaps he's not the right guy. He should love you for all that you are and accept you no matter what choices you made in the past.

If he finds out you had an abortion from someone else, he has no right to be upset with you. It had nothing to do with him and he should respect the fact that you'd naturally want to keep such things private.

I wish you the best,
xxx ooo

Answer 3

It depends on how serious you are with this new boyfriend, and why do you feel inclined to tell him---what will backfire? If he loves you or cares for you he should understand...do you know his views on the topic? you may want to know that first. Then you have to think about how you feel about the situation---will it bring up past pain, do you plan on putting yourself in the same situation again? I feel in relationships, there is a time and a place for everything and you stated you don't want him to know...is this because of how you feel he will judge you? time will tell on this, right now it seems that you do not feel very comfortable with him to tell him this. Let him love you for you without the physical contact and then add onto it. Sometimes we as women get rated on how we perform sexually but let the man get to know you intimately before you give something so precious as your body. Once you feel that closeness with him you will decide. I have been in a similar situation in deciding to tell someone something and although it wasn't until many years later, I told a very good friend and he was very shocked and yet did not judge me...but we were older and wiser by then.

Answer 4

Well, if you're concerned about what he might think, say, or do then now is not the right time to tell him.
You aren't obligated to tell anyone... but if you believe he deserves the right to know then you should tell him only when you feel comfortable and trust him enough that he'd never use it as blackmail or to backfire in anyway.
Keep it to yourself for now until you're sure you're ready to tell someone. I know from personal experience that it can be very hard to talk about and is a very personal and touchy subject. So, wait a bit until you're connected with him so deeply that you're positive that he'll accept it and not judge you from your past.

Answer 5

no matter what you have decided to do in your life......honesty is always the best policy, when the time comes for you two to be serious, like marriage serious, then you need to tell him. there is no need for him to know if you don't plan on making a life with him and a family. Give it time and do not rush something that really could blow up in your face. If you two do not work out and it is just something that doesn't last long, there is no reason for him to know

Answer 6

If you really care about him, I believe you should tell him. Most people have very strong opinions in favor of or against abortion. Better for him to find out from you now, than to find out some other way at some time in the future.

As a caution, though, there is no telling how he might react. In my opinion, though, whatever happens is much better than keeping it a secret.

Answer 7

You know I think I would be ashamed to tell him. Because you know why? That kid was innocent and what did you do, cold heartedly killed it. You laid there and knew what was happening. Abortion is wrong and if you want him to stay with you I guess you shouldn't tell him. But you should be ashamed of yourself. Just because you opened your legs ang got your little bit of pleasure doesn't mean that it was okay to abort it. You knew what was going to happen. If anything you should have had it and let some desperate couple have it. People like me that can't have kids despise people like you that kill little children who did nothing. I pray that god has mercy on your soul!

Answer 8

you did what you had to do in that situation how can it back fire? whats done is done...lucky new man ain't got to raise no one else's kid so why should he care? if the subject were to come up i wouldn't lie but i wouldn't go out of my way to tell your boyfriend either its your past it was before you knew him so it shouldn't be any big deal to him assuming he does find out...by the way if you know he is the type that would turn this in to some big deal i definitely wouldn't tell him honestly when it comes down to it its not any of his business

Answer 9

If he can't be man enough to accept that you made a decision for yourself that is entirely your right to do in the first place then he might not be the one for you. You have nothing to hide or be ashamed of, if he cares about you then you should be able to share it with him and not be judged for it. Good luck!

Answer 10

I think you should tell him if you plan to with him for a while it's better he hear it from you than someone else. And don't listen to those idiots who tell you are a bad or selfish person for doing it they don't know your situation and just talk out their a**.