Why is it that so many lesbians seem to have a deep seated hate of men?

Question

I have many lesbian friends and it seems like many of them have a very deep seated hate for men. Why is that and why do so many of them mimick men in their lives such as being overly masculine in dress and stature?

Answer 1

I am a lesbian and I am not a man hater. Someone in an earlier post said something about how the general female population tends to be disappointed in men overall. I think this is a correct assumption. I think women expect certain basic things from the men in their lives be it brothers, husbands, fathers, boyfriends, etc... and when the men can't live up to it or refuse to live up to it, it's a very big let down for women. I've been there and experienced this first thing. Is this why I'm a lesbian? No. That has nothing to do with it. But before my partner came into my life I lived the hetero life (and very unhappily I might add). I have seen first hand how men tend to overlook the needs of a woman. I will not elaborate but I think men disappoint women immensely.

Answer 2

I never really got to know a lesbian to see if she does have a animosity against men. But I can speculate that each of them, has their own genetic personality that either makes them have an identity crisis on that they feel they should have been men in this life vs. that they are very happy being a woman who's very attracted to other women. It's so hard to discern with how most homosexuals feel about their lives, especially the hardship they go through of not being socially accepted in most societies. I guess that their no different than heterosexuals. We all react differently to others and the world around us.

Answer 3

Maybe its your neighborhood. I don't find that to be true at all. I don't find that Lesbians spend enough time around men, or thinking about men to really take the time to hate them. I think women in general are disappointed in men and how men's behavior effects them. Some of the most vicious male bashing I've ever heard has been at wedding and baby showers, and I'm usually the only GLBT person there. I've gone to an awful lot of wedding/baby showers in the 35 years I've been an adult, and they seem to have a thread of discontent/disillusion with male behavior. Resignation seems to be the over whelming state of being for most heterosexual women. Too bad a better job isn't done in raising sons.

Answer 4

I don't think all lesbians hate men. It may be the background they come from that influence them more than their sexuality. I don't blame a chick if she was molested and couldn't like men then - it doesn't mean she is going to become a lesbian though.

I know that when I was struggling with my sexuality I dated men. I do not hate them at all. I respect them for putting up with someone like me who was trying to figure her feelings out.

I found that I have more male friends than chick friends. I guess that's cause I find them easier to get along with in some sense. My girl was abused by her step father and yet she doen't have a hatred for men.

Like I said I think it's the people's background. They may have been raised that way, something may have happened to them that they can't get over or it could just be a plain old - i don't have to like everyone thing.

Answer 5

As a Bi-sexual man with many Lesbian women friends, I do not have experience with attitudes such as you describe. Some women are Butch, some are Femme, I love them both, and I've been good friends with them, even though, sometimes, I can't have them sexually. How they dress and act is a personal preference, and not for any one else to decide.

Answer 6

As far as the clothes thing goes, that's about self-expression. As for the hating men part, I don't know any lesbians (myself included) who hate men. I think some do because of their own experiences with bigots and maybe abuse, but I think that that belief is mostly a stereotype.

Answer 7

By a careful observation of men and women... we are very different! Some men and women can fall in opposite sides of the sex-gender spectrum of masculinity-androgyny-femininity. I think the androgynous people (my speculation is that lesbians are androgynous) are really neither immediately rawly sexually attractive to either opposite poles. They are also repulsed by the very feminine and very masculine. They are a category to themselves! In fact, I consider myself androgynous and find either poles generally unsatisfying and unidimensional. BUT, I don't hate people for being themselves, but when they pretend that is the ONLY way to be a MAN or WOMAN, then that really pisses me off!

Answer 8

Lol, maybe you're friends only. I don't hate men, I just don't want to have sex with one. The only men I have a problem with, are the ones who, when I tell them I'm a lesbian, are determined to make me "switch back" or convince me that I'd prefer a man's penis over a woman's vagina.

Answer 9

You seem to have a very low opinion of lesbians, so I honestly doubt you have many lesbian friends.

I have met some lesbians that do not like men, but most I've known have nothing at all against men. They just don't want to sleep with them.

If not wanting to sleep with men, means that you hate men, then heterosexual men also hate men.

I do have to say, though, that I have heard an awful lot of HETEROSEXUAL women who seem to be bitter towards men. I guess it's because they've had bad experiences.

Just because I've heard an awful lot of heterosexual women complain about men, would not lead me to believe that all heterosexual women hate men. In fact, they probably like men an awful lot. They just get frustrated sometimes when men act like jerks.

You seem to have an ax to grind with lesbians. Get over it.

Answer 10

I think the lesbians that don't care for me were mistreated by them at one time (raped/molested) I think those that dress more like a man do so to keep men from looking at them or wanting them...I for one don't have a problem with men and never have. They are and always have been my best friends (straight and gay). I just don't have a sexual attraction to them.