Am i misled in my reason to be lesbian?

Question

Ok, so I am considering being lesbian as a way to belong. I don't mean to make this a socio-political issue that stirs people up (so please don't make it). It's just a personal expression and I feel somewhat vulnerable being so open... When I was young and foolish, I dated white guys, to see how I fit in the culture. But I know at least where I am, white people are the majority and the old class haven't fully opened to asians. Asian opinion prompts "Well, if you're don't agree, go back to your country" sort of replies. So, can't have an opinion openly w/o being put in my place as a foreigner I feel like a loner in a majority world. I am struggling to find belonging in this society. I don't want to be further marginalized by being lesbian, but I know I can find community within the smaller culture of lesbians. I want empowerment as a woman, not asian! I want people to see me for who I AM, not see my face! Ok, I am not depressed. I am fine. But at times, I feel down about it all

Answer 1

Being a Lesbian is not merely a state of being to be determined at a whim. Nonetheless as a Lesbian, I thank you for your willingness to join our camp; however contrary to common belief, we are not in the business of active recruitment. SO if you want to be a lesbian, you truly have to be a lesbian, that is attracted to women, oterwise you may find yourself rejected by even the Lesbian world.

That said, being a lesbian is not a choice; and if it were I dont think many would sign up, because it is a very disliked and disrespected, stereotyoped minority; and the way this country works, with its failure to give lesbians and their families equal access to the law, not a desirable one to pursue.

My advice, just be yourself and learn to love yourself for who and what you are and feel sorry for those who fail to see you as equal and as you; for it is those pepople who are truly tormented. So JUST BE WHO YOU ARE...you do not need a click, nor a group, nor to define your own existance by how you look - do not fall for that, because if you allow yourself to be placed in a slot by some other person/s, then you are allowing the racists to win in their despicable game of self righteousness.

Answer 2

The short answer is yes.

We all struggle to fit in, to belong, to be accepted. If you want empowerment, why are you so willing to give up your sense of self?

I was a "joiner" just like you. I desperately searched for that feeling of belonging to someone or something.

What I finally realized is that I was rebelling against the only source that could give me the unconditional acceptance and love that I craved. Now I feel so completely liberated and empowered!

I will never again worry about what the world thinks of me. Wouldn't you love to be able to say that too?

Take the Good Person Test at http://www.livingwaters.com/good/

Answer 3

Well, if you are open to the idea of being in a relationship with a woman, go for it. Make sure that you're honest with the people that you're with though. That whole "gettin' it with a woman and then reaslizing it isn't for you" kinda stings the person you were with. With your one statement, "I want empowerment as a woman, not asian!" if you're just looking for a place you fit in you might want to try some of the feminist organizations. There's a variety of women there, straight bi pan les etc, that you might get along with.

Answer 4

well by reading this the only thing that i can see that would 'stir someone up' is that you are somewhat generalizing....'the old class haven't fully opened to asians....asian opinion prompts 'well if you don't agree, go back to your country'. sure, i don't doubt that people think in this manner and that is a rather negative way of thinking on their behalf whether that be the way they were raised or laziness and lack of explanation and reasoning on their end. but nonetheless...i'm not sure that being a lesbian is something that you just wake up one day and decide to do...i mean. if you are attracted to women sexually, mentally, emotionally, ect. and wish to be committed to one or at least involved with one, go for it but i would think that choosing to be one to get recognition as a women and to take away your origin would just be degrading to yourself in the long run. be proud of who you are...people everyday wish that things were different with the world but there are things that cannot be changed and who you are is probably something that you shouldn't want to. this is just my opinion. i tried to steer clear of the socio-political aspect of it, although that is def. what it seems to be.

Answer 5

If you want to be a lesbian to FIT IN, you're definitely going about this the wrong way....you should date women because you like them, really think about it because you could do some serious damage to a girl one day when fitting in isn't important anymore... and for all the grief we catch from the general population (for the most part anyway) you'd more likely be ostracised than accepted. Good luck

Answer 6

it's not my place to tell you what you should do...but I think personally you should do what you think is right...

I think if you are choosing to become a lesbian "as a way to belong"...it may not be the right choice. I know a few gays and lesbians...and they didn't make a choice for the same reason you are going to. They felt it was right because they couldn't exist any other way.

I think you may need to look a bit deeper for your answers. If you choose to become a lesbian...I think you should do it with enough thought and wisdom....because if you don't, you may ultimately find yourself that much more isolated, lost and .. more regrettably...hurt.

good luck to you.

(PS: for all you homophobes out there...I am NOT gay).

Answer 7

There's no reason to be a Lesbian at all. God didn't make us to be with the same sex as ourselves. What does it matter if some do not except you? You can try to find friends who do. A place you shouldn't be made fun of, looked down upon, or anything else, Lesbian or not, is a good Christian church. God can help.

If you would like to know anything else, or ask where a good church is or anything else, Then E-mail me. (Title the message, "Yahoo A. Q." so I know it isn't spam.) I know, at least, people in my church wouldn't make fun of you or anything because of those reasons. I hope I helped you.

[e-mail]

Answer 8

either you are or your not , you seem to have some choice your not then
you wont find what your looking for in the group, lesiban arnt any more accepting, however you might find a lover and if it feels ok, then you will assume you are a lesbian and never be truely happy

Answer 9

well instead of trying to b a lesbian, why don't u continue to b urself, study hard and b the best that u can b and then u will b recognized for the woman that u r.

Answer 10

You're not the first asian from which I hear stuff like that. I am sorry to hear that you have to deal with these racial problems. I say love yourself for who you are, like I love myself for being italo. find people you like and the others let them be.

all the best