can you rate these poems on a scale from one to ten:
Notes
The conductor waves his baton,
And gives the beat,
1, and, 2, and, 3, and, 4, and,
Quickly I grab my bow and begin to play,
Becoming one with the sweet music of the cello,
The notes embrace my soul,
And I let go,
Twirling round and round with the notes,
Dancing joyfully away from reality,
Dancing to the beat,
Suddenly I tire wanting to go back,
But the notes tug at me playfully so I join them,
Laughing,
The notes form a man shape
And passionately embraces me I embrace him back,
But the music stops,
I'm sent reeling back to reality,
I bow,
And the conductor starts again...
What is Love?
Inspired by love
What is love?
Do you have some sort of longing for another?
What is love?
Is it just a quick embrace?
What is love?
To be with another only to despair over their departure?
What is love?
Are you always longing to meet each other?
What is love?
To blush when you do something stupid in front of one another?
But answer this:
What is life without love?
2006-10-22 11:22:17 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
cool
2006-10-22 13:41:23 · answer #1 · answered by amberharris20022000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10
2006-10-22 18:31:32 · answer #2 · answered by lissyaaa@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they're both really good.
um, a tip, though, you might want to break the first one up a little into the different ideas or directions that you're taking (as you would in a story with paragraphs) - also, it started out a little slow, but the end really took me someplace (and it didn't just stop and fall off a cliff (which i've seen so many poems do...))
i liked the repetitiveness of the second one...for the first few times. maybe combine a couple of em, so it's not sooo repetitive. i don't know, that's just an opinion.
i liked the idea of both, and especially the ending of the second. good luck in the future with writing more poems. and, yaye, applause, for asking somebody's opinion. that's what the best poets do (yaye feedback/constructive criticism)
2006-10-22 18:34:58 · answer #3 · answered by lolfunswirlies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely Beauitful
2006-10-22 18:30:04 · answer #4 · answered by bonnie f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!!! You should write poetry!!! Your amazing!!!! I mean I can't write poems as passionate as those!!!! I love the way you add details and stuff that makes you fell the music and wonder about love!!! I love them!!! :)
2006-10-22 18:46:27 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Cooly Girl♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lovely, expressive poetry. Keep writing.
2006-10-22 18:43:38 · answer #6 · answered by beez 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excellent! You could put them on poetry.com or on a website that takes poetry! :)
2006-10-22 18:30:37 · answer #7 · answered by anabandana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like u could make it as a song
2006-10-22 18:30:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those are really good poems you should get them published
2006-10-22 18:26:46 · answer #9 · answered by Stephanie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll give them a five. They're a little simplistic.
2006-10-22 18:31:57 · answer #10 · answered by goldielocks123 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋