How old were you when you realized you were "different"?

Question

How old were you when you realized that you were "gay"? How old were you when you "came out" to family and friends? What reactions did you get? I am curious.

Answer 1

I'm not gay

Answer 2

At the age of 12 I started liking chicks on tele. At the time I thought I was looking for a role model. As I grew up I started to get very interested in the lesbian world - I couldn't get enough of it and this is when I started getting concerned.

Around my late teens I realised that I was gay but had no avenue of where to go and how to find out etc. I think realising was the biggest step. When I was on holidays I went to a gay and lesbian night club and I had never felt so much at home.

After I came back I met my girlfriend. I knew she was gay. She as a friend of a chick I worked with. I didn't really know what to do though as I was still hiding my sexuality through dating guys - hating it by the way.

So eventually I asked her out and wahla here I am today. Out and proud and am feeling better about myself then ever before. I came out just before I turned 21. What a long decaded.

I was able to tell my friends because they already assumed. It was harder telling my family so I wrote a letter. We had always been told if we had something to say and was worried we were going to forget it all that we write it down so this is what I did.

At first the reaction was ok. The next day my mum was a little more upset though. Dad was fine with it. It probably took Lisa about 6 months to be accepted by my family. I'm not sure if they accept us as us still but at least they accept her as a person.

Answer 3

I always felt different. I have memories of having crushes on other boys by age 6 or 7. I didn't know what being gay was until about 12. I didn't accept myself as being gay until about 16. I came out last week and I'm 22. Everything is going great so far. I even went to a gay bar this last friday night with some friends and had the best time ever

Answer 4

I was around 12-13 when I even started considering it, though when I look back it might have been earlier. It wasn't until I was 14-15 that I even fully accepted it, and it wasn't until the end of my freshmen year of high school that I even told more than a friend or two. I was 17 when I told my parents that I was bi, mainly because I was dating a girl, and didn't want them to find out through some other way.

My parents where accepting, though it freaked the hell out of my dad. With my friends, they were all cool with it. The closest thing to a "weird" reaction I got among friends was when I mentioned a female ex and my friend was quiet for the rest of the day. He came up to me at the end of the day and was just like, "Eh, no big deal. Just had to think for a while." It really wasn't too bad for me, though my parents were the hardest thing. They were "accepting" but I still wasn't allowed to have sleep overs for almost a year and couldn't openly date a girl.

In all, though, it wasn't too bad.

Answer 5

Well Im not gay, but at age 14 I knew I was different, I never did "come out" to family there have been friends over the last 32 yrs that I have told my secret to, and some have turn and ran and others didnt care, I am a Crossdresser, Still keep it private and home, Im not gay, I LOVE Women, there have been the ups and downs with trying to deal with it and accept myself even,

Answer 6

I figured it out sometime around the time I was 9. I refused to admit it for many many years, and spent a lot of time trying to be straight. That never worked out...I could never develop any kind of romantic feelings for a woman. Finally, my senior year of high school, I came out. First it was to my friends, who were all very accepting (a few were gay), and many of whom had been wondering why I was taking so long. Three years ago this month marks when I came out to my parents. It was rough at the time, but it's gotten a lot better. The rest of the family is still being slowly phased into knowledge.

Answer 7

I was about 10 when I realized I was different. I never loved a boy in my class, while all the other girls where acting like real girls and trying to get the attention of boys.
I never did girlish things (stereotype things I mean) like having dolls, painting my nails (the idea, only, I never will use make-up or something like that) don't like jewellery etc etc.
I surpressed the feelings for women, but fact is, I am attracted to women and totally not to men. So, I couldn't surpress it any longer and now I am glad I accept myself being a lesbian. I haven't came out to my parents yet, only to a close friend, she was ok with my and I am so happy that I can talk with her about everything!!
If I look back in the past, there are so many things I could name which shown that I like women. Very glad I accept that, only have to come out once. But I will wait with that till I am in a relationship.

Answer 8

I realized I was different from other boys at about age 5/6 after being told I was "higorant" in the playground. At the time I just thought it was to do with being a stranger and being able to read properly. As the years went by the feeling of difference just grew. My first sex with another boy came at age 13, but by that time I'd already been brainwashed into accepting the inevitability of a "normal" role in life. Only many years later, at about age 50, was I able to accept my same sex feelings and subsequently to act on them, and it took another 8 years before I recognized that there has always been a strong transgender current in my nature.

Answer 9

I realized at around 11. I came out at 13. The reactions varied. My parents were saying at first 'You're not gay, just confused'. I lost some friends, gained some and some just stuck by me throughout the entire thing.

Seems my parents are finally coming around. I have also told other family members, all their reactions were quite good.

The only people my parents have forbidden me to tell are: My dad's mother, my dad's friends (wich i wouldn't anyway because i don't know them), my mom's parents, my mom's sister (although I'm pretty sure she knows), my mom's friends (the same reason why I wouldn't as my dad's), and basically some of my dad's family members (he has a huge family).

Either way, this is my life, so I will date who I want. I can't live my life according to my parents, that would only make me miserable.

And I'm glad I came out early, that way I will not have to deal with explaining why I'm 30, single and not planning to have children (sorry SC, this is referring to you, and please don't take offense, it is just my opinion).

Answer 10

I don't think I've ever realized I was different. I just assumed the rest of the world felt like I did. I still think they do. They're all just hiding it!

Nah. I started making out with a girl from my elementary school in about fifth grade, I think. I didn't actually like it, but that was the beginning of me feeling completely natural as bisexual. I never had to have an internal 'coming out'- I just liked girls and guys. I don't think I ever even thought it to myself- there was no 'realization'. Rather, it just was. Hope that's not too vague.

Still haven't come out. If I did, there'd probably be some anger and disappoinment (being that my family and friends view homosexuality as sinful and just unnatural), but I doubt there'd be much shock. They all know how freaky I am, and how unabashedly interested in sex (despite being a save-it-'till-you're-married-virgin!). In fact, after debating with my mother about anal sex, she slyly commented 'If you weren't a girl I'd think you were gay!'. Ah, how little she knows.

Answer 11

I'd always felt different growing up but didn't know why. I had a crush growing up on a couple girls but thought that was normal, nothing ever came of it. I got married and was married for 17 years and met my soul mate whom I've been with for 14 years. I feel complete today. I was so happy I told everybody, It took my dad awhile to get over it but that was his problem not mine. The rest of my family was fine with it. I may have lost some people in my life but were they really my friends???? Be who you are alway..