i posted twice the other day. i met a man online and we really clicked. He is married, i am recently divorced. we were together twice. i have intense feelings for him, mostly lust, though, if he were available, i would not want him, but would still be attracted in a very physical way. I cannot reconcile myself to seeing a married man. However, i want him for just one night, and then will say goodbye permanently. am i being insane or is this a good idea, under the circumstances?
2006-10-22 11:10:44 · 36 answers · asked by sangellai 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
good idea. just make sure to NOT GET CAUGHT. ha.
2006-10-22 11:12:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a bad idea.
First, you're already trying rationalize it which indicates you already know its a bad idea. Secondly, you have to consider your motivation for even the first encounter. You're recently divorced, and maybe you need a little validation. But ask yourself: How many times am I going to do this? He doesn't have to be married, he doesn't have to be an on line hook-up. There will always be enough men in the world for you to lust after, but so many things can go wrong. You're lucky he wasn't some psycho or had a crazy wife who's been monitoring his on line activities.
Give yourself a chance to deal with your recent divorce before you engage with other men. Buy a good vibrator, masturbate, whatever. No, it's not the same as having a man's arms around you, but having short term sexual encounters with strangers is not going to change how you feel the next day.
Get involved with a support group. The potential physical and emotional risks you're taking aren't worth it.
2006-10-22 11:42:46 · answer #2 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You met online. You've been together twice...online as in cyber? or you met him in person? Being recently divorced, you know you're very vulnerable right now. Well, you're human. That aside, you want to meet this unavailable, married man, have sex (not make love because you say lust) one night, then say goodbye. If he wasn't married, you wouldn't want him at all. Do I have it correct? It's not a good idea, under any circumstances. Yet, it's your decision and one you have to live with.
2006-10-22 11:59:26 · answer #3 · answered by Joy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Imagine that he is your husband and think about how you would if your husband did that you. It is sad that because your marriage didnt work, you would be okay with destroying someone else's. Is your lust worth the damage you are doing to his family? It isn't all of your fault, he is more at fault that you, but by you being a woman, and obviously experienced pain (having gone through a divorce) you would think that you would be more empathetic to another woman and the pain that you are causing her. You are selfish and karma will come back and get you. One day when you find happiness again, someone just as callouse as you will come into your life and cause you pain.
When you found out he was married, it should have ended there. Men cant cheat if women like you dont allow them to.
2006-10-22 12:04:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok first of all why are you divorced? Did you ex spouse do this to you? Have you ever been cheated on with someone that you love? If you have do you remember how that felt? Now stop and think about this other woman who you are considering doing this to...forget all the crap he has told you about her and realize thats a one way story. Now if you havent been cheated on do you have kids? What if someone was considering hurting your child like that? Would you want to ruin a marriage for one night with someone you just have lust over? If thats all you want go to a bar find a hot single guy and take him home there are plenty of them out there trust me..and do your thing. But stop and think of the consequences plus if you do have kids would you want them to think of you as a homewrecker? Good Luck in whatever decision you make.
2006-10-22 11:36:30 · answer #5 · answered by littlemama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it's not a good idea!! You must have more self esteem than you are showing here. Come on, he's married! Why have an affair with a married man? You were married, right? How would you have liked it if your ex husband had slept with another women? I don't think you would have liked it at all. So why would you even think of doing it to someone else, to their marriage?
2006-10-22 11:58:40 · answer #6 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not fair to his wife, even if he claims that he doesnt love her he will probably be lying cos all men want a shag if the girl in question is 'easy' enough!
I think its a bad idea, if it was the other way round im sure u wouldnt be pleased to know ur husband had casual sex with other women.
Although, when it comes down to it, everyone is the same- u will never listen!
My best frind has been sleepin with someone for a year, he has a girlfrind but claims he doesnt want to break up with her because he doesnt want to hurt her feelings!!
What a load of bollox, women will never listen and men will always want a shag...life!!
2006-10-22 11:47:28 · answer #7 · answered by **shell** 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being with a married man is never a good idea even if it is just for one night. He is married for god sake!!!! That means he is committed to his wife. I would have nothing to do with this man whatsoever. I feel so sorry for his wife she probably thinks he is faithful to her. I say find a single guy and if you want a one night stand with him then at least you know in your heart you are not hurting anyone. Think about this one.
2006-10-22 13:15:33 · answer #8 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are being insane,, why would you want a man that is married,,, i have been there done that and it is a bad idea...
i really hope that you used a condom while you were sleeping with him,, ,
a married man comes with a lot of baggage,, A WIFE<<
how would you feel if you were to get caught ,, if he was interested in you ask him to end his marriage first,,
then all you want him for is his bod that not a good idea,,,
there is more to anything then sex,,
forget about him for now,,
2006-10-22 11:31:03 · answer #9 · answered by thanks to our brave troops, 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it is an awful idea. You said you have intense feelings for him. You will not be happy with just one night and then be able to say goodbye permanently.
2006-10-22 13:44:55 · answer #10 · answered by spelling nazi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the point, what will one more night accomplish? Surely you can find someone else out there who isn't married that turns
you on. I say leave him alone and send him back home to his wife. Sounds like the turn on for you is knowing your taking him
from someone else. Sounds like maybe your husband cheated on you when you were married. Maybe you want to try it from the
other side of the fence. Good luck to you
2006-10-22 11:18:42 · answer #11 · answered by REALISTIC 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋