I have been married for 3 years now and my husband and I have always had problems. I haven't cheated on him and I believe he hasn't on me. I really would like to get rid of him though, I have told him so many times to look for a place to move to, we live in my house I was living in before we met. He acts like he has no interest in me and he gets mad when I accuse him of this. I ask myself what am I doing with him all the time, he has changed so much since we got married. He acts like he always has something to do that's so important, whether it's going to the bathroom, sitting on the computer, or watching tv. I just don't get it, he says he loves me, but I don't believe him. I just want to get it through his head, that he either shows me he cares, or he needs to leave cause I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. I need some type of plan or idea to really get this message into his head. I have tried to but he never listens. Any suggestions?
2006-10-22 11:06:00 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
pack his bags , sit them on the porch. change the locks on the door. he might listen then!
2006-10-22 11:10:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy cure for this kind of a situation- it's a either-or.
Have you really tried talking to him? Maybe something is going on that in his life, work, family or something that has him stressed out. Ask him... Tell him you need some of his time, that you are more important than the computer or the tv. Explain how you are feeling, and tell him you are feeling lonely and abandoned.
Make yourselves a date night, put some romance back into your lives. Don't just kick him to the curb yet, try to talk to him again, be honest! If he does start caring for your need to be with him or spending time with him, then if you can't deal with it any longer-then it's time for him to go. When the relationship starts effecting your mental and physical health it's way past time.
Tell him-he can either pack his own stuff or you will pack it and put it on the curb. Either way-he's got to go enjoy his computer and tv somewhere else. You didn't meant the word love, and that's bothers me, I hope it's not to let for him to get the message and start treating you as a wife instead of a roommate. You should like a strong woman with a good head on your shoulders so I don't have no doubts that you can handle it-if he doesn't improve upon the marriage. Good luck..give him a chance, that way you will know not only in your heart and in your mind that you did everything possible to make this work. Marriage takes 2 people giving their 110%. You can't make it work by yourself, and you don't deserve to try.
God bless us all............
2006-10-22 12:07:31 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Two things come to mind. One, sounds like even though you two have had your share of problems, you still want this to change for the better. Two, asking him or telling him to find another place to live is probably not the best way to get your point across if you're trying to make him behave better (I've been there). See if this helps with making your plan....He more than likely feels insecure about the future with you (doesn't know where you two will be down the road - that messes with a mans head more than you know). When you're telling him how you feel, you're probably yelling at him and doing all you can to make him feel like a complete shithead for not taking care of you like he should. Here's the deal, unless he's just a piece of crapola he will respond to a gentler approach from you. Men are like babies when it comes to this stuff. If you were to try a completly different approach and it still doesn't work then you will know if these points are valid. Think of a couple that you know or knew in the past (imagine a couple if you need to); how great they treat(ed) each other and how much respect they had for each other. You will need to take the lead on this (he probably feels there's nothing he can do to fix things **(like you're expecting him to)**. After a few months, don't be surprised if your getting all the good stuff again. Good luck, remember...like babies...need to be shown....needs to see you set the example (sorry, that's just the way many men are - at least until they feel secure and planted)
2006-10-22 12:09:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
if he said he loves you why don't you believe him ? he shown you love before he will again. stop nagging, show him how to be loving when you are together, rub his back and tell him how much you love him. if you can't do that,then there is a lot of love missing from both of you, and not just him. right him a note. say how you feel , he might have forgot how to love you , or you are growing in this marriage at a different pace. or maybe since you always had problems, that should have said alot. good luck
2006-10-22 13:13:58 · answer #4 · answered by td_sn_lr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time for some tough love. Give him the ultimate option; either change and start showing his love for you,etc. or its over and file for divorce and sue him for everything youre legally entitled to. You can always cancel the divorce proceeding if necessary. In the next 30 days come up with plan B and stick to it or he will realize youre just playing with him. Good luck
2006-10-22 11:16:34 · answer #5 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put his stuff out and change the locks that should do the trick. Maybe you could fill your time with other things to do instead of worry about him showing love. Get away from him for sometime and maybe he will appreciate you more and show you the love you are looking for.
2006-10-22 11:26:18 · answer #6 · answered by barbie2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
gawd, you guys are stuck in a cycle of dysfunction. Time for counseling.
Remember what it was that brought you together.
And if he knew you cheated.....then he is deeply hurt.
No one can solve your problems.....it is up to you. Stop blaming him. Work on the love that used to be. Or move on. Even if you have to put his stuff outside and change the locks.
2006-10-22 12:13:55 · answer #7 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to put your words into actoin. You have talked to him about this and he still will not listen. Show him you mean business; he will either change or accept the fact that you are truly leaving him.
2006-10-22 11:10:50 · answer #8 · answered by Bubbles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that is you in the picture then he is a complete idiot. You are very cute and you deserve to be treated like a queen. Put your foot down and tell him to get his lazy butt out and file for divorce. He is not worth it if he isnt treating you like the beautiful woman you are.
2006-10-22 11:14:12 · answer #9 · answered by dumb guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's men honey. Do something drastic to get his attention.You keep telling him the problem but it just sounds like nagging to him. You have to grab his attention to let him know you mean business. My husband did this to me and after I showed him if he won't do it someone else will, he changed his tune.
2006-10-22 13:17:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋