what should i do about my sister?

Question

well i know its her life but i mean she my sister and i don't want to see her get hurt. ok she beening seeing this old guy and his like 47 or so and shes only 23 i mean should i just leave her alone and let her do what she wants or talk to her about it idk i mean i've only met him once or twice but i just don't like him for some reason i guess its because he's a old man and my sister is young idk what to do i guess i can't do nothing>.. oh yeah and shes even planning to marry the guy.......shes been looking for a house for them too..

Answer 1

ah, its not that bad...i mean, at leats at 47, he's a stable guy, and he's probably really nice...plus, guys tend to age very well. so yeah, i think she's fine.

Answer 2

how long have they been 'dating'? she is old enough to make her decisions.

the age should not be a difference. but if you do feel the overall tension when he is around, something is wrong.

if you really love your sister, do a background check on him. there is nothing wrong with doing that. people do it all the time. check him out.

and if there's nothing wrong, well then, you can relax a little.

all you can really do is be there IF it does fall apart.

sit down with her and talk to her, let her know you are concerned. but be ready, she may not take your advice.

talk to her, and let her know you love her and want her safe. and that she needs to take more time in this BIG decision. marriage is a big deal. she needs to be 100% sure. especially when they are looking into a house.

make sure her name is NOT on the paperwork. for some one that old, they better have their own money. just make sure she does NOT sign anything. if she is signing for everything especially the house, she is getting suckered, and she will be in a lot of trouble.

do your best to be secretive and find things out before its too late.

good luck.

Answer 3

This is a hard situation, especially if your sister is a head strong person. I was similar to that in where I wanted to do my own thing and make my own decisions. If someone was to give me some advice and they didn't talk to me on my level; I wasn't trying to hear what they had to say.

You really need to tell her the truth of how you feel by giving her the cons and don't become aggressive when giving her your opinion. Either way she takes it, you have try to agree to disagree so that no matter what you will let her know that you still be there for her if it doesn't work out.

Answer 4

Honestly -- she's an adult and can make these decisions for herself.

Still, you're concerned and that may mean something to her. Sometimes these older-younger relationships are wonderful and sometimes they are sketchy. Ignore his age and get to know him as a person -- while thinking about what kind of person you think will take care of your sister long-term.

If you still think he's not good for her, then just ask her a lot of questions --

NOT mean ones that will make her get defensive like "how can you have sex with him in 10 years?"

but ones that will make her think seriously about this like "Are you guys on the same page about kids?" or "Have you guys talked about what might happen if he gets sick?" mixed in with non-age related questions like "What kind of a house are you thinking of getting?" or "Do you have the same religious beliefs?"

Answer 5

People always say we have to learn from our own mistakes but if you are getting a vibe from him that just doesnt feel right I would talk to her. Let her know how you feel as a concerned sister. Other things play a part in this too, How long have they been seeing eachother? How does the rest of the family feel about this? Me and my sis talk about everything wouldnt hurt to try good luck hun :)

Answer 6

Well, u r right, it IS ur sister's life. But I congradulate u 4 caring about her. As long as she is an adult, there is nothing u can do. But just to be on the safe side, check the guy out. Do a little on-line backround check and then invited him out to lunch and see if he is honest about his past. If u don't want to do that, just sit ur sister down and explain to her how u feel. Things will have to get better. In the meantime, u have to get used to ur sister's wishes.

Answer 7

Unfortunately allof us have our own opinion and understanding of everything but in our own way. The reason you don't she what she sees is because you are not her. Not saying that you aren't right but that's not what's pertinent here. It's her life. You already know that that's why you said it. Now settle down, love your sister, support her and be there for her. Live your life let her live her life and the two of you enjoy each other when you're together.

Answer 8

Let her alone. She will make her own decision no matter what you do. As long as she & him are in the same place in their lives (both want kids still or don't, both want marriage, both enjoy same hobbies) and they enjoy each other, why not? Older men can compliment young women well if the chemestry is right.

Answer 9

Sorry, but at the age of 23 there isn't much you can do to stop this craziness. She will marry this guy if she wants to. The most you can do is to be there for her, and support her when things start to go wrong with him.

Answer 10

I guess there's nothing you can do. She is an adult and I doubt if she would listen to you. 24 yrs. is a lot. Ask her to think about how things might be when she's 40. He will be too tired to do anything with her.

Answer 11

I would just stay out of it, be happy for her. I know that it is weird and kind of gross but, to people in love, age is not an issue. To keep the relationship healthy and strong between the two of you, I would just let her know your concerns and let it be. Be happy for her, be there for her, get involved. Just let her live her life. ... I know easier said then done.