did wife have an affair?

Question

without my knowledge,she drove 100 miles to meet a guy at her families cabin. she claims nothing happened,even if this is true ,did she have an affair?

Answer 1

yes, even if it was not physical.

Answer 2

Just put yourself in the situation - would you be driving to meet a married woman at her family's cabin just to have nothing happen? Sounds like she may have cheated, but the only way to know for sure is to ask her. Ask her what happened and why she went and didn't tell you? This is your wife, you should know when she is lying so look for the subtle hints and most importantly trust your instincts. I'm not talking about your stroking your ego, don't get all macho and pissed and yell and scream and do and say things that you will regret later, I mean trust your heart, if you believe deep down in your gut that she is lying and that something more happened than what she is letting on, then you have a decision to make. Either you believe her and move on until you are proved otherwise, or you don't believe her or she confesses, and you have to decide to either work through it, or just leave. Only you know what you can handle. Just don't fool yourself into believing that you can get through the infidelity (if that is what happened) if you can't because that will only end up in disaster. Good Luck.

Answer 3

the fact that she did it behind your back and hid it from you should signal that something is not right in the marriage. it also shows that she may have lost any respect she had left for you, and did not care if you found out or not. either way you have marriage problems. that she has not been willing to discuss with you. You did not say if her family was there at the time. either way she wanted to do what she wanted and did not have the guts to be honest with you. if she could do that it raises questions as to what else she has been lying about and doing behind your back. if you have children when she is not around ask them if they have seen mommy do anything out of the ordinary. My kids new before i did that my first wife was having an affair. if she does not work and you do i suggest that you let things cool off then take a sick day , drive your car to work borrow a friends she does not know and follower her, see what she is doing when your not around. by doing this you will find out one way or the other if she has or is being unfaithfully. check phone bill for numbers you don't recognize. you can by cp programs that will monitor her on line activity without her knowing about. you don't know for sure if she did have an affair or not, but all the signs are there to imply that she did and still may be

Answer 4

Well if this were my spouse, then he'd have to explain why he drove100 miles to see some woman at her family's cabin. He'd have to explain to me what was so important that they had to meet there, and why couldn't she have come and stayed in our home. He'd have to explain what they talked about, then he'd have to tell me if it would be appropriate if I did the same thing.

Unless she told you about this meeting ahead of time (at which point I would have questioned her then), I think it's likely that something happened.

Give her the opportunity to come clean with you. If she did have an affair, resist whatever your first inclination is (shouting, accusations, etc.) Take a minute to let it sink in, tell her that the two of your will have to discuss what's going on. Have you noticed changes in your marriage? Do you love her enough to go to counseling if she's open to it? If she did betray you, then you absolutely need to tell her how it makes you feel. She needs to understand that she's betrayed your trust. She owes you an explanation about why. What you both need to do is consider what you want to do from here.

OK; if she didn't have an affair, at the least it's incredibly disrespectful to you and she needs to be clear on what's acceptable in your marriage and what's not. If she doesn't get it, then counseling is still a good idea.

Answer 5

Not if she is planning a surprise party for you, or buying you a surprise gift that this guy is helping her to arrange. Otherwise she has been unfaithful mentally...and maybe even emotionally, which to me is worst than physically. There is no justification for a married woman to drive 100 miles to meet a man in a remote location without the knowledge and consent of her husband. I wont drive 20 miles without telling my husband, especially not that far! Anything could happen, and how would he know? It was wrong...and I would require an explanation. Bug your phone. That is how my cousin got caught by her girlfriend. She bugged the phone, and one day they took a drive and she played the tape in the car. They are still together, but my cousin never tried that again!!

Answer 6

Unfortunately, she did have an affair. Even if it wasn't a physical act (which I find hard to believe), it was an emotional act. She also did this very deliberately, because she had to drive 100 miles just to get there. She had to be thinking about what she was getting into with each mile that passed. You have a lot of hard decisions to make now. Sorry.

Answer 7

If I drive 100 miles to meet a guy, he'd better unlock those doors, and drop his drawers. Here's the real kicker, if you are just now, finding out she is/has seen some guy, chances are they have been doing the horizontal hula for a while. So, yea, she's having an affair.

Answer 8

This is just a thought, but if she wasn't having an affair then why did she drive to a place that was so secluded? This is actually kind of similar to what happened to my parents before their divorce. My dad had been going to this cabin about a half hour out of town with friends of his. Usually his friends only go on the weekends. My mom started to suspect that he was having an affair. She moved out because she felt that she couldn't trust him anymore, and they needed their space. My twenty year old sister was still living at home with my dad at the time, and started to worry when he hadn't been home for four days (Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday). On Monday my sister called my dad's work asking for him. She was told that he had called in sick. My sister then in turn called my mom. My mom went out to this cabin where my dad and his friends hang out. My mom walked in on my dad having sex with one of his friend's sister-in-law. My mom walked out, and filed for divorce the next day. Some say that she should have freaked out, and fought my dad or the girl, but she didn't. Now, almost two years later, my parent's divorce has just been finalized, and the woman that my mom caught my dad with is due any day with my dad's child. Has she told you about this yet, or did you just hapen to find out? Reguardless of whether she has done anything or not, do you feel that you can trust her anymore? If not, the marriage is probably over.

Answer 9

Could it hurt anymore? She hurt you, it doesn't really matter if she did or didn't sleep with this guy. She's quilty of it in your heart. Have you asked her why going to meet this guy was so important to her?

Please sit down with her, and let her explain. Don't yell or cuss, talk with her. Give her a chance to tell you why. Maybe she was trying to be this guy's friend, and she was suckered into meeting him. Maybe he played her for a fool. Used her good nature against her. Ask her, and listen with your heart and not your head.

If you can forgive her, then do so. But truely forgive her, never bring this up again. Don't relive it everytime something goes wrong. You tell her how this had made you feel. Express the hurt that she caused you, and also, there are some people out there in this old world that love to take advantage of people. It's scarey out there, she might meet up this some loon, and find herself being friends with some crazed man. But give her a chance to explain, and you remember to tell her how it made you feel. If you can forgive, then please do so, and let her prove that she won't hurt you like this again.

God bless us all..............

Answer 10

No married women would ever drive 100 miles away to meet a man alone and not have anything happen. Honestly that is so hard to believe.

Answer 11

Let me get this straight who is she trying to bullsh*t first of all she had the nerves to travel 100 miles and then tell you after the fact where she went but left out the REST of the details like why she would hide something like this in the first place from you and that she really slept with another man and thinks that you should just get over it and nine times out of ten she's going to blame you for her infidelity you may have to drop her because this sounds just way to hard to believe its just unrealistic for her to even expect you to believe this bullsh*t a ss story.