me and my boyfriend have been together for 11 years and i am in a delima, i cant figure out what to do he cheated on me in dec and got her pregnant the baby is a month old now and i am so confused some of the things that he does now makes me feel that he doesnt love me anymore and that other things are more important than me and i think i dont want to be with him anymore but i cannot bring myself to leave him . anyone with some good advice please help
2006-10-22 10:58:28 · 13 answers · asked by jlk29al 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sorry, I don't have any simple solution for you. You have to make a difficult decision. Do you still love him enough to stay with him after the cheating and new attitude? Are you ready to give it up and start over? Those are your two choices. Talk to family or friends about this. Get the input of someone who knows you.
2006-10-22 11:01:29 · answer #1 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
11 years without being married? I'd have to say he probably never really loved you at all - and this probably wasn't the first time he's cheated, just the first time he got caught.
I know it's hard to change after so long together. I ended a relationship after almost 7 years last December, because it was clear that nothing would change. It will be a difficult adjustment, but it is an opportunity for you to redefine yourself and what is important to you at this stage in your life. Leave him, and make a fresh start by working to build your own life and interests.
Take time to get this dead-end relationship and the bad habits you've developed out of your system. When you are ready, a real man will come along that will appreciate you for who you are. Move on with dignity; you deserve better!
2006-10-22 18:02:51 · answer #2 · answered by HearKat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on now. To thine own self be true. I'm sure you were very hurt that he messed around and especially that he had a baby in the process. Now answer the real questions... is he still with or want to be with the baby's mom. Because it didn't take you all this time from the conception of the child to now to think about leaving. You have been thinking it but you do not want to leave him or loose him. The world doen't always work out the way we want it to. Has he outgrown the relationship and want to go own with his life on another road? Don't hurt what's left...if it's time to go it's time to go. You don't have to wonder if it's still there. Face it.
2006-10-22 18:05:55 · answer #3 · answered by Liz K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to keep in mind that he is a parent now and certain responsibilities go along with that. You have to grow with the situation, because what if you leave and meet someone else who has kids, then you would be repeating the same situation. You are just experiencing growing pains in your relationship, because things have changed so much. Let your boyfriend know how you feel and if he don't make an effort to make you feel more secure than maybe it is time to move on.
2006-10-22 18:05:05 · answer #4 · answered by barbie2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really tough place to be in. I think you need to start thinking about yourself for a change. Seems like it is all about him, and with him having a new baby. I'm sure he is quite preoccupied. You need to do what makes you happy, and even though you may love him it dosen't seem to be worth it if your unhappy! If I were you I would start looking for someone else to share my life with. Someone who does make you feel loved and wanted. You just have to do it, it won't be easy but you will be happier in the long run. Good luck Hope this helps.
2006-10-22 18:09:23 · answer #5 · answered by REALISTIC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, was it a one time thing where he was stupid or was he having an affair with her? Can you forgive him for cheating on you? Do you want to make the relationship work? Does he? If you want to work it out, you need to have a couple of serious talks and set ground rules. People can change, but he has to regret what he did and decide that he wants to be faithful to you. If he doesn't then I am sorry and you need to move on. It will hurt and be tough, but you need to do it to protect your heart from more pain.
Good Luck!
2006-10-22 18:02:00 · answer #6 · answered by emp04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want this relationship to work, you and him both need to go on websites like surviveanaffair.com. Really though, he has a child with this other woman. My advice would be to call it quits, and find someone who respects you, and who will put you first! Good luck!
2006-10-22 18:03:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, he cheated on you, got her pregnant and she she gave birth to his child. This seems like an open and shut case, you should gather your strength and tell him you are leaving. I am sure there are lots of men who would not treat you like that, and you may be pleasently surprised by your decision. Life is too short to spend it with someone who isn't showing true commitment to you
2006-10-22 18:05:39 · answer #8 · answered by doc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk it over with him. But first you should probably think what you want. Do you still want to be with him? Does he want to be with you? Does him having a child with another woman bother you? But you should definitely talk to him and let him know how you feel about the situation.
2006-10-22 18:02:04 · answer #9 · answered by Mommy of Two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to stay with this loser? You are just lowering yourself by staying with this bum. Dump him before he hurts you worse.
2006-10-22 18:02:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋