is it really over?

Question

ok 2 years together.he left me.we argued too much.he been tellinme he love dme wheni asked him.no wi ask he says no.he n i were type to fighthed leave id call himback hed returnafter a few days or so.this time he never came home.today myheart broke more.a callsyainghe is at my house takin outhis clothes etc,i just died in my heart i felt he loved me even after syainghe has someone he is screwing.my heart wanted to see him lyin.well he left somethings behind his good sneakers some tshirts etc..why wouldhe knowning ima see this n cry he said throw away.good sneakers and boots throw away i was thinking he did that so he has excuse to get them but he said throw away.i ove him so much and its hard.imused tohim here he has been gone a month now he called constantly for his things now he has them.so now he has no xcuse to call me nomore correct?iwonder if he will .myheart is dyin so my question is is it over

ok i kno wits over but whom who know him n i we were attached so much mabey use toechother noone can believe he had a change of heart.when ya think of me u would see us alwasy together

Answer 1

The sooner you let go, the better off you will be. My marriage was over 9 yrs ago, but we are just getting divorced now. I held on, hoping every little thing he said or did was a sign that "he really loved me". But he did what he had to, so that I would hold on, and there when everything else in his life fell apart. Because of the type of man he was, it always did, and I was always there to build back up his ego. I always felt inadequate as a woman and compared myself to every woman I saw because I didn't know if she was the one he would be talking to if I weren't standing there. I drove myself crazy for years, yet never let go. So I caused a lot of my pain, by not moving on with my life.

The best advise I have for you is to move on. He will want you back when he see you happy and with someone else. You have to be strong and not allow yourself to be a revolving door for him. But I am willing to PROMISE you, he will want you back. But not now, and not like this. No man wants a woman that he views as weak and under his control.

You have to be non-chalant and unaffected by him. It will kill you at initially, but it cant hurt no more than you are hurting now. I never allowed myself to hurt...I just accepted it. That sounds crazy, but when I allowed myself to hurt, and cry, and vent and mourn (it took about 2-3months), and allowed myself to go through the process...it meant I had to close myself off for a while. I went to work, but I cried when I woke up, and cried all night, every day. One day...I stopped crying...and it was over. I allowed myself to go through it, didn't hold it back, didn't feel ashamed about it, all I did was go through it....and when I stopped crying...I literally STOPPED crying.

After 10 yrs, EVERYTHING made me cry that my husband did. The idea of him being with a woman, hearing about it, or thinking about us not being together made me feel like I couldn't breathe. Like my heart lived in my throat, and some days my heart felt like ...I cant even explain it. After all that time...I just let myself hurt....and when the process was over...it was over.

My husband BEGS me to see me now. I remember a day I would drop EVERYTHING if he called and wanted to see me. Now most of the time I stand him up. I can hear a woman in the background and laugh about it. As a matter of fact, I CANT cry anymore! I dont feel for him anymore. I love him, but I am no longer in love with him and I am happy for him and whatever he has for his life.

It may seem like you can never feel that way, but one day, if you let yourself just go through it, you will look back and be happy you did. Think about it....right now you are torturing in pain. It cant hurt more than it does now, so just go through it, get it over with, and keep in mind that it hurts now, but it is better to hurt now, than to hurt every day for years. Remember, take ONE DAY at a time. One minute at a time if you have to. Keep telling yourself each day....If I can get through today, I can get through tomorrow. If I can get through this hour, I can get through the next. Just one step at a time, until one day, the sun will seem like it is shining brighter than it ever has. Rain will be like laughter, songs will me different things. Everything will have a different perspective, and then one day you may be able to help someone through this yourself.

Good Luck!!

Answer 2

Girl, you need to read my question.. In regard to One4theroad. Most, not all, men (boys), are for themselves today, not saying the women are not, we women need to be stronger, more self-sufficient and realize that there are more fish in the sea. Myself included!! Stand tall, go forward, and be all that you can be. Try very hard to let him go. You are not alone, I am going thru the same, this is my way of moving on..... :)

Answer 3

Anytime anyone asks this type of question, it is a good sign that it probably is over. Anytime a relationship is over its never easy and usually hurts like hell for a time but you must start thinking of moving on. Good luck

Answer 4

Codependency strike a match?
Sychological Manipulation add wood to fire.
Sorry to be blunt move on he will beleidat.
Love your self for once:)

Answer 5

As hard as it may be to accept it sounds to me that you should just cut your loses and just move on because it's over.

Answer 6

yes

Answer 7

yes - he has moved on and you need to also

Answer 8

WHAZ UP WITH YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YES IT'S
OOOOOOOOOOOOO VER!!!!!!!
YES YES YES