Why do I allow myself to take such punishment from people I want to help?

Question

Once again, I have just been treated by garbage by someone who asked for my help and advice (after not liking what was heard). Now, I'm getting a little sick of this. Over the last six months, I have been; verbally, physically and emotionally abused, made into a living joke, ignored and (falsely) accused of harrassment, all by people I have tried to help. None of these (except the harassment) are one-time things.
Maybe it's time I closed my doors and went underground? Disappeared from this nigh on suicidal good samaritian thing I seem (stupidly) to do?
Silly answers are fine for this one I'm low enough at the mo to not really care.

Answer 1

The truth really hurts to tell people sometimes it wise to say nothing a closed mouth carrys a wise head, look after number one when it comes down to it there is only you ,

Answer 2

First of all, do people ask for your help or do you just volunteer to give it?

Dr. Phil always says "You allow people to treat you the way they do." In the future, I would tell ungrateful people that you refuse to be talked to in whatever offensive way they talk to you.

I would also suggest you buy Dr. Phil's "Self Matters." If money is an issue, go to a used book store or take it out of the library. By the way, I'm not promoting his books, but rather I'm suggesting something that worked for me.

Take the time to take care of yourself first. Then you can help others.

Don't be discouraged - it sounds as though you have a good heart and the world definitely needs more of those. Good Luck

Answer 3

You must be picking the wrong people to try to help. If you are trying to fix relationships and the people get back together they will blame you for their wrong discissions. If you really want to help others as you seem very sincere. Then why not volunteer your time at some place that needs an extra hand. I run a flea mkt. volunteerly and drive Veterans 150 mile each week to see their doctor. I also run a pool tournament. I get enjoyment and I am appreciated. I love it and it is all volunteer work. I hate to see you so sad. Please don't give up.

Answer 4

You are and will always be right to try and help. If the help is not wanted then move on. If people are too stupid to realise your good motives then more pity them. One day you will help one person and it will make a difference, so don't stop.

The world is a better place with you in it. Do a search for a small bit if prose called the Desiderata, it says what I mean but better!

Answer 5

What you need, I think, is a good stock of vicious putdowns, so when someone next slags you off, you can shock the hell out of them.

Start a list, now!

Answer 6

tell them all to get on with own lifes and when they ask for your help just tell them to sort out there own problems after all they don,t seem to take you serious anyway ,,,,,,,, and don,t let them get you down you sound like a really sweet caring person so don,t let anyway try take that away from you pet x x

Answer 7

dont get down please....uv just a string of very very bad luck...unfortunately a lot of us do things that we think are for the better for someone else & they either take it the wrong way or throw it back in ur face.......u are not alone honestly & i think its them that have the problem not u......what wrong are u doing by trying to hep someone!? u are a rare breed if u ask me so please dont change who u are x x

Answer 8

They just couldn't handle the truth..u need to go with ur life and forget them..

Answer 9

Stop trying to help them and take some time for yourself. You deserve it.

Answer 10

hey brthoer u must be my twin this is going to be a long one so get ur reading glasses ready

i fell were u *** from 100 percent i helped so many god damn people in my life and got nuthing in return but them treating me bad like im dirt. I had a friend a friend for 8 yrs i talked to him he went into drugs. I tried to talk him out of it he betrayed me and said he dont want to be my frind juss cuz i told him it was bad.

There was this girl i liked her she felt depressed by her looks she. Dint look bad to me i tried to help her i told her every day she lookd pretty she looked cute every single damn day. And u no wat she lied to me she said she coudlnt go in boys houses. No big deal i juss wanted to play the game with her not have sex. Guess wat she lied she went rite in to one of my gd friends house. I forgave her i bought her candy afor valentines day and guess wat she said she dint like me and for me to stop trying to date her. All that nice **** she even ended our friendhip and no i only juss begain.

I had a friend that we were so much of gd freinds. Called him my cousin he betrayed me to be firends. With another dude and cuss me out and stick middle fingers. And stuff hurt my fellings and he was a gd friend.

also i had a friend i called him my brother. He was a bad kid that needed help i wanted to help him alot. He needed guidence i took him in i was his only friend. Now i gave him food cuz he was poor clothes money i stoped kids from beating him up every day at school. He even owned this boy 50 bucks witch i paid for him cuz the boy wanted to kill him and cut him. When he brought a knife to school i hide it for him cuz he was my friend.

he stabbed me in the back not 1 not 2 not but four times. He sent an email to a girl i used to like read above tellin her personal things about me. He told my bussience and he lied on me he got me in trouble constantly. And when he got a gf he ended our friendship i forgave him for all that. Now recently he got a new gf and he told me he was doing drugs. Told him it wasnt a gd idea he cusses me and ends our friendship

my life has been terrible beatin raped made fun of rejected. And u gotta lern that ur not the problem they are. So buck up and if they treated u bad theyll no and theyll fell bad. But u keep helping lets me and u help people to gether forget those people that wanna act mean cuz u no in ur heart ur a gd person and thats all that matters