How do I control my jealousy?

Question

I've always been a very jealous person- whenever I like a boy I'm mad whenever he just has other friends that are girls who are just as close or closer to him than me. I know it's ridiculous, and that's why I want to stop. I just can't get rid of that horrible feelilng and I don't want to be jealous anymore because it hurts me and annoys other people. How do I stop this?

Answer 1

The green eyed monster must be defeated.It can destroy the most wonderful relationships.Sooner or later you have to trust people completely.Try giving more than you expect to receive.So some folk will let you down but they do not care enough for you.The real folk will value you without cheating.Be patient and trusting and all will resolve itself.

Answer 2

Try to realize that jealousy is magical thinking. It is the desire to be in one place and still have control over events that happen in another place. What it leads to is that you are never truly in the place that you are at. Instead of being at home doing something that you might enjoy you are spending your time thinking about what might be going on with your boyfriend. This is an terrible waste of your life. You should like yourself more than to fall into this trap. Try to practice the idea of being here now. That is pay attention to what is going on around you. Do not live so much in the "it might be" world

Answer 3

You need to feel more secure in yourself. You have no reason to be jealous unless he gives you reason to be jealous. It's ok in this day and age to have friends of the opposite sex.

You need to work on yourself and feel better about you. Try taking a self improvement course at night school. Do something you have always wanted to do. Do something important that is an accomplishment for you. Do more of them, one after another and your confidence will grow. Good luck.

Answer 4

First of all, you've got to understand that you do not own this boy. You do not have the right to try to control him like that. When you do, it is not a sign of respect OR of love or friendship.

If anything, that's a pretty good way to drive your friends away.

It's great that you see this problem as what it is- a problem. Your best bet would be to get with a counsellor who can help you figure out why you feel this way.

Good luck.

Answer 5

It is something that is very hard to do. First, you need to realize why you do this? Do you have low self-esteem? Do you push people away intentionally before you get too close? Are you threatened by other people? Are you afraid of losing the boy?

Once you know why you have this reaction you can work to change it. When you are confident in yourself you will not be threatened by other people.

Answer 6

I sound more like you have an addictive personallity that makes you extreamly attached to people to the point where you have jealous delusion. You need to be more indepentant and more trusting and if you can't be more trusting you just will have to image that even if what you suspect is true you- that you are going to accept it no matter what. Good luck.

Answer 7

While the first answerer speak the truth, there are alternatives like falling for someone more jealous than you. This will insure an interesting and spicy marriage.

Answer 8

You've taken the first step in realizing that you do have an irrational jealousy.
Now realize that you are good enough and that if he ever did stray you could easily walk away and destroy his world...not yours.
Jealousy, at its root, is a lack of confidence.

Answer 9

You realize that the person is a friend and not a possession. When you understand that, jealousy goes away

Answer 10

Well, jealously stems from a poor self image. Remind yourself, that if someone dosen't want to be with you only, there's nothing you can do to change that. We can't control others, but we can work on our own weaknesses. Just try to work on your self.