i split with my ex about 3 weeks ago, things were not acrimonious and we remained really good friends thereafter. i never really felt that we ended things because of the reasons she gave me, and sure enough 2 nights ago we met up and had a heart to heart. she told me that she thinks she may be gay and has wondered this for many years now and still found women attractive while we were still together and that this just wasnt fair on me so she ended it. well now i know and we both agree that things were great between us and cant say that we dont want to ever be a couple again. she says she still finds me really attractive.
im an old fashioned man and have never pondered what love is but i just cant stop thinking about her, i know shes confused right now and it will take a long time for her to deal with this but i dont want to give up on something that was so good between us. so do i draw a line under things and tell myself to find an easier relationship or stick it out.
2006-10-22 09:07:20 · 14 answers · asked by gees_a_pint 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Take her back, but you will have to be man enough to allow her to try a Gay affair. It seems as though she loves you the best, but may need a fling from time to time - can you stomach that? Obviously, you love her to bits.
Take a minute or so to read what I have to say.
Firstly, many people are bi-sexual. This means that they can respond to sexuality from both the opposite sex and their own. Often, bisexuals have a chief partner of the opposite sex, but will occasionally stray to a fling with a lover of the same sex.
Secondly, the idea of total faithfulness sexually, to one partner, is a social construction. Other societies, particularly in the Animist areas in Africa, accept monogamy, but at various intervals, the time of the Full Moon being common, licentiousness outside of ones partnership is permitted and is acceptable.
Thirdly, for many people who are highly sexed, taking a new sexual partner on a temporary basis is no different to a car enthusiast borrowing someone else's car. They simply wish to see if a BMW is as good as their Jaguar.
Sexual morality is very much a social construction - that is to say that the mores involved have emanated from religion and from ideas of Governments, who seek to regulate social behaviour.
I strongly suggest that you get together with her, make your relationship the core of your mutual existance, but agree to a strategy whereby she can indulge any gay traits she may have, returning to you afterwards. Such behaviour is no threat to you if she loves you the most, but why submit ones most loved to niggling frustration when the problem can be resolved amicably and with discretion.
If you trust her enough, and if you trust yourself enough, take her back, and talk about what I have suggested.
2006-10-22 09:29:19 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing! She must be just as confused as you are - no doubt she has pondered for many months as to wether she should split from you or not. I would keep in close contact as a good friend for a while until she decides. She obviously thinks alot of you, but don;t fall into the trap of a "one night stand for old times sake" routine. You have feelings too but dont be used.
Good luck!
2006-10-22 16:53:12 · answer #2 · answered by NICHOLA T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you be her friend.. give her guidance. Sounds like she really needs somebody to be there for her. Let her find out if she is a lesbian or not and if she is, you and her can be best of friends but if not, then the two of you can live happily ever after. I wish you luck and patience.
2006-10-22 16:11:42 · answer #3 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if a guy told me he thought he was gay, i would be out the door. you can not create something that is not their.
go on with you life and just take this as one of lifes cruel little jokes. move on their are plenty of straight girls out their that know exactly what they want. This whole thing is already to complicating. why make things harder for yourself. relationships are supposed to be special and not this hard. If you have to worry this much it is not worth it..
2006-10-22 16:13:07 · answer #4 · answered by sissybombay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she sounds really confused If the two of you are ment to be together you will be you know the old saying if you love something set it free if it comes back it was ment to be just go on with you life maybe you will find something better!!
2006-10-22 16:13:13 · answer #5 · answered by dogydoorman@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
move on with your life, what if she decides that she is gay? you lose out. on the other hand she could in 6 months decide that she isn't but doesn't want you again you lose. so you've got to look at this as one of those rare win-win situations.
2006-10-22 16:11:27 · answer #6 · answered by missree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a relationship that is definite and for sure. She will always be there as a friend, and you know it too.
good luck honey!
2006-10-22 16:09:35 · answer #7 · answered by aricalyn10<3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think if you really love her you will have to let her go, she has to find out who she is and if shes not gay and does love you she will be back gd luck
2006-10-22 16:23:38 · answer #8 · answered by lifessuckssomuch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have spent together a lot of time and sure you can not forget it easily and quickly , but you can not wait more and taking a risk of maybe yes and maybe no .
2006-10-22 16:13:05 · answer #9 · answered by MIKE IVANA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
erm thats tricky...i would be inclined to wait..she sounds a bit confused..if you find with time she is still confused then move on..good luck hun..know its hard x
2006-10-22 16:11:45 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋