What am I supposed to do for my friend? (this is psychological.. in terms of depression)?

Question

My friend usually always wants to talk to me and stuff, but right now he's depressed and acts like he doesn't care about me or anything, and it's kind of hurting me, but I don't know whether he really wants to be left alone or is only trying to make people worry, so I don't know what to do for him

Answer 1

He might not be "trying" to make people worry. Try to have an open conversation with him. If he is really seeming withdrawn from everyone, perhaps you should get others who care about him involved.

Answer 2

It sounds as if your friend is clinically depressed. If he's in school, then suggest that he speak to a trusted coach, teacher , guidance counselor or SAC. True depression means that he has a chemical imbalance and won't just be able to "shake" it off as one would with a cold. If he's out of school suggest that he find a therapist or get a psychological evaluation at a nearby hospital. He might need medication to start feeling better. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Depression is something that is overwhelming. It affects the person who is suffering and those around them.

Your friend needs to seek help but one thing that depression does is remove any impetus to do anything.

Understand that this is not aimed at you.

I would suggest that you speak to someone about your friend. Who you speak to depends on your ages and circumstances. If you are at school - a teacher or counsellor. If at university, student support is a good place to go. His parents may also be able to help and as a parent I can say if it was my child I would want to know.

Do not be surprised if he is angry at you for doing this - it is the depression reacting - not him. As a true friend it is necessary sometimes to act in a friends best interests even if they hate you afterwards.

If you do nothing and he harms himself and this is a very real possibility - would you ever forgive yourself?

Answer 4

Antidepressant medication is often prescribed. Psychotherapy is considered just as effective as antidepressant medication and a combination of the two is usually the most effective. There are different forms of psychotherapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy helps break negative, distorted patterns of thinking.

Family problems or any relationship problems will exacerbate (or may trigger) depression. And depression itself can intensify or cause difficulties in relationships. Seeing a counselor or psychologist, family therapist, psychiatrist, etc. can help one learn to deal with relationship / family problems. An initial consultation with a therapist will help determine if he or she is compatible with the patient and allow the counselor to explain what to expect from therapy and answer any questions the patient has.

Regular aerobic exercise may be as effective as antidepressant medication but it may be too difficult for a person who is suffering severe depression to start exercising until they have had as least partial relief from their depression. There are many complementary treatments such as relaxation techniques to combat stress, supplements, massage therapy, etc. Motivating oneself with achievable goals can also be very effective.

A depressed person needs all the help they can get. A multidimensional approach may be necessary to banish depression.

For further information, this link will be helpful:

http://www.simplyhealingclinic.com/articles/lifting_depression.html

Answer 5

Depression can, over a period of time, make you lose all interest in activities and people you once enjoyed. First, try not to be hurt by it. He's probably not even noticing he's doing it, and he almost certainly doesn't think less of you now than he did.

Don't "leave him alone", but keep in mind that until he gets treatment, he could be passive (at best, like just not return phone calls, etc.) or angry (at worst, resenting that you "just won't leave him alone")

Keep in contact with him, but don't try to force yourself back onto his radar (leave encouraging emails or voicemails without demanding he call you back, for example). If he has depression, he's not making healthy decisions for himself, and he's not being all that rational, but it's not his fault. For example, he could feel lonely or abandoned. While most healthy people would think to call a friend if they feel lonely or abandoned, he withdraws from people, making the situation worse. He could say he wants to be left alone, but just because he said it doesn't mean it's healthy for him, nor does it mean he really means it. Right now, he's just stuck in a kind of rut and he's just floating by, day after day, without much affecting him at all.

He's self-centered right now ("self-centered", in this case, does not mean "arrogant", it means that his thoughts are focused on himself rather than others).

If it's mild to moderate depression, encourage him to get treatment.

If it's severe (you said you think he may be just "trying to make people worry"), and you think he could hurt himself or others, you owe it to him to do something he will NOT like at first, and tell someone.

For a semester in college, I had severe depression, and I had a friend who wouldn't let me ignore her. I would sleep through the day, missing classes all the time. This girl, however, would show up at the same time in the afternoon, make me get dressed, go to a class we had together, and then go straight to the cafeteria or student center. I admit, I resented her at the time, but now I'm SO thankful she wouldn't let me push her away.

Answer 6

Start working out with your friend. The number one thing you can do for stress and depression is physical activity. Take your friend on a jog, or bike ride, or to the gym. The endorphins will kick in and make him feel better, will get his mind off of what is bothering him, and will do more good than many of the drugs available for the same purpose. If this doesn't work, then recommend professional help.

Answer 7

Don't say "you'll get over it", or "Pull yourself together," of "Look on the bright side..." None of these help. Just be a good listener and reassure him that you're there for him if he needs you. If it continues, it could be clinical depression and he needs to see a doctor.

Answer 8

Ask him what he wants you to do. If you can abide with what he says he wants, then do that, for a time. Check back with him in a week or two and ask the question again.

Answer 9

If you sincerely are concerned for him, and he's refusing to talk to you, maybe you should try talking to a school counselor (I'm assuming high school age here, forgive me if I'm wrong) or talk to his parents.

Answer 10

Question yourself as to why you really feel compeled to baby someone as manipulative and selfish as that.

What is it in you that needs that kind of drama.