Last year i got married. But it didnt work so we are divorcing. Now someone loves me but I AM SCARED ABOUT THE WHOLE THING AS MY PAST HAUNTS ME.WHAT TO DO?
2006-10-22 07:21:03 · 19 answers · asked by rinki g 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
don't assign the bad traits of your spouse onto every potential mate you meet. also, dont be in a rush to be married ... take the time to really know this new person and hopefully, you are being yourself and not doing things just to please them that you would not normally do in everyday life (being true to yourself)
marriage in and of itself is not the problem, its the quality of the relationship that determines whether it will succeed or fail. If you are both being honest about who you both are with each other, then the relationship will succeed on its own merits. If either of you is "living a lie" in order to "win" the other person, then the relationship will fail because its premise is not honest
2006-10-22 07:29:44 · answer #1 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you are blaming your abusiveness on emotional problems and stating you couldn't control it. Unfortunately, emotional abusers know EXACTLY what they are doing when they are being emotionally abusive. You can't begin to fix your "problem" if you can't even own up to the fact that you had control over the abuse and that you were purposely abusive. It wasn't a monster inside that made you do it - you conciously did it and voluntarily did it. If you aren't 100% cured of this emotional abuse "issue", then why would you want to be in a relationship with him. If you truly loved him - then you would stay away from him until you were 100% cured. How do you get cured - you get help from a psychotherapist who specializes in curing those who are abusive. Not some doctor who gives you meds for bipolar or borderline, etc... People who are abusive are missing an important part of themselves - they don't love or respect themselves. They are fearful and controlling. You have tons of issues you have to deal with for 2-3 years before you should even CONSIDER being in a relationship with anyone. The fact that you would want to be in a relationship with ANYONE KNOWING that you are abusive is disgusting and shows me that you definitely are still an "abuser". Wanting to be in a relationship knowing you are an "abuser" is in and of itself a CLEAR SIGN that you are still being selfish and self-centered - and that you are very much still an abusive person.
2016-03-18 22:52:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look its very tough to get love more than once..i believe so..U married some body .why ..not because u hate him but u loved him..all are not same like our fingers..better not to get divorce try to manage and if not possible ..ok take time ...look u have already got a problem so its toooo much sure that u wouldn't like to get it once more..so better take time ...know the person(who loves u now)well try ur best to examine him ..yes u need to do for safety..dont aloow him to have any physical relation before marriage coz ..if he is flirting then he will leave u b4 marriage ...do follow as i say then i am 100 % sure u will be able to live happily ever after..BEST OF LUCK FRIEND..and if u need more help u can directly write me at ban_san16@yahoo.co.in
Thank you,
sanjay
2006-10-22 20:11:23 · answer #3 · answered by Nishant 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u hav decided to divorce it means ur heart has no space 4 ur spouse but hey if someone loves u its gr8 .
what u hav to do is don't rely on some1 blindly if some1 loves u it doesn't means that u can spend ur whole life with that person. be patient it may happen in future that u also start loving the same person. but such decisions shud be taken keeping in mind that whether both of u can spend ur lives happily together or not.
the decision had to be taken by u & dear take ur time 4 it.
2006-10-22 20:08:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have faith in God. It will help in removing your negative thoughts to some extent. Accept your new love with open mind and heart. Develop a clear understanding between you and your new love. Always think positive.
2006-10-22 08:50:55 · answer #5 · answered by nilesh1958 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You divorce if you get married, live together forever, that way there is no pain of divorce. Go ahead with your new love and good luck.
2006-10-22 07:29:19 · answer #6 · answered by Gobind T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make sure u know this new guy in ure life well before u jump in to marriage. u r a soft hearted person it seems to me. the marraige u gave up recently has broken u to some extent. so this time give some time knowing each other then jump to marriage.
2006-10-22 08:34:36 · answer #7 · answered by yourfreind_forlife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did you get married in the first place? if you knew it wouldn't work out within a year? and what about your past? you have to give details.
2006-10-22 07:23:25 · answer #8 · answered by superboredom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume you love the person. If you do, then go slow about it. Take your time. He will wait for you if he truly loves you...Eventually, things will fall into place naturally.
2006-10-23 02:17:21 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shoulnt stress over it.fall in love again.if you get scared itll happen again.just wait a while till your ready to get married.dont make it soon.goodluck
2006-10-22 07:26:29 · answer #10 · answered by turtle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋