i have been writing to a long lost love from grammar school about 1 year ago i starting writing now he and i have so much we talk about and love is there but he won't be out for a long long time, i am married but i write to him to keep him going and i am the only woman in his life that writes to him,i care alot for him and most of it is i feel sorry for him, am i wrong for writing and being married?
2006-10-22 07:17:46 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Allow me to weigh in here based on experience.
My husband has been in federal prison for 26+ years. The men all appreciate getting letters. It's a wretched existence and letters are about the only contact they have with the real world.
However. I can tell you that most of them, especially the long-term guys, no longer have family or friends, and still need money to survive. If they have prison jobs, at six cents an hour, they never have enough for phone, stamps, warm clothing or decent food. Most will not have a place to go when they get out. Most will not be employable, able to find someone willing to rent to them, or help them finance transportation. Sooooo.....what do they do? Lay the groundwork now....
Has this guy asked you for any money? For any reason? Has he asked you to do him any favorsf? Have you rented a PO Box to keep your husband from finding out you're getting letters from him? Do you know for sure you are the only woman in his life? How could you possibly know? My husband gets letters from women all the time, we think it's a hoot.
You can care for him, and if you want to keep writing him, go ahead, but you need to ask yourself is it worth losing your husband? It sounds like you're already planning a future with him, not hubby. If you think you're really in love (have you even been to visit him or is this all correspondence?), then it's your decision if you want to wait years for him to come home. My husband is an exceptional man that I have the utmost respect for. I have never met anyone else like him in my life, and will continue to wait. That's my choice, whether anyone else likes it or not.
However, if this guy has asked you for money, at all, or favors that are illegal, cut him loose right now, or be prepared to be a meal ticket, period. Or possibly a co-conspirator, which means you can't write him anymore from another prison.
I write a number of my husband's incarcerated associates, and none of those men have ever asked me for a nickel. We enjoy staying in touch, talking about the old days, who's died, and so forth. But they have never asked for me for anything. That's crossing a line. Has your guy crossed that line????
2006-10-24 19:15:43 · answer #1 · answered by Charlotte M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, the bad spelling and grammar is a little hard to ignore... If you could format this and maybe run it through spell/grammar check at least so that it doesn't look like three blocks of text, it would be easier to read. The way it's presented now is just unattractive and turns off the reader almost immediately. Just a suggestion. :)
2016-05-21 22:45:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't keep tabs on anyone from grammar school, and I certainly don't know anyone in prison!!!
If I did know someone in prison I wouldn't take a chance of ruining my marriage over a criminal.
2006-10-22 07:20:24 · answer #3 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are not wrong in writing as long as you both have set up ground rules/expectations... what happens when he gets out, how does your husband feel.. etc.
2006-10-22 07:22:03 · answer #4 · answered by tampico 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, if you were in prison, you would probably want someone to write to you and comfort you every once in a while.
i don't think it's wrong at all..
2006-10-22 07:21:19 · answer #5 · answered by tina18 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it's an affair even though its only mental.....would you want your husband doing the same?
2006-10-22 07:22:36 · answer #6 · answered by asking 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does you husband know about it .? If not than it's not right .
2006-10-22 07:22:09 · answer #7 · answered by Geedebb 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
same thing as cheating, if he was that special he wouldn't be in prison
2006-10-22 07:21:36 · answer #8 · answered by Cobra 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
depends on what you say in those letters
2006-10-22 07:19:47 · answer #9 · answered by Lil mama 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no not at all, you are sweet and caring
2006-10-22 07:20:25 · answer #10 · answered by goodlookin.mama 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋