About five years ago i caught my husband having an internet affair. The woman was a long way away and he was never going to meet her and he stopped and that was that. I (about two months ago) talked to this guy who sent me nude pictures of himself and let him see me on my cam (once and before he sent the pictures) and I was in a pair of flannel jammies. I didn't even remember the conversation. I didn't encourage him...but I did state that I was not that happily married. Which is a whole other subject. My husband is having a fit now....
2006-10-22 06:59:34 · 12 answers · asked by igot_terminal_uniqueness 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you both need counseling
2006-10-22 07:17:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too, had an internet "affair" while I was seeing this girl many years ago. It was intense, but really didn't have much chance of getting off the "reality" ground (which it didn't). Although the girlfriend at the time was upset, we worked through it.
What you did was a tad bit different. Having an internet "fling" can be pretty harmless, but admitting to this guy, and also to your husband, that your marriage is unhappy, is a real cause for concern. Honesty in a marriage, or hell, any relationship for that matter, is of primary importance. So before you go spatting off about your feelings to others, I'd really suggest telling your soulmate first.
2006-10-22 14:07:34 · answer #2 · answered by scorpio_draconis 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How weird! Fantasy affairs on the Internet in flannel jammies. I can't think of why naked snapshots of most men would ever be sent without encouragement. I don't know what to say except that your marriage is real, right there and if its not good, go fix it if it can be and leave it if it can't, but don't make a waste of your life with naked pics on the puter. That's just too sad.
2006-10-22 14:24:14 · answer #3 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has every right to be upset. I agree that his affair was wrong, but what you are/were doing is no different. If you are happily married why would you want nude pictures of a guy from the internet. Why would you let him see you even with your clothes on. This constitutes encouragement in my book. If you knew his intentions and you continued to talk with him you are in the wrong. Own what you did and apologize profusely to your husband. I hope he can be as forgiving as you once were.
2006-10-22 14:08:31 · answer #4 · answered by sleepless in NC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're talking to strangers because there are things you don't feel comfortable saying to each other.
The person who suggested marital counseling is right, but if you don't want to do that, it is something you can work on for yourselves. Sometimes the best way to break the ice is to get a self-help book and read it together, either by sharing the book or buying two copies. You can also get two similar books and compare notes.
Once you get the lines of communication open and feel safe talking about sex you can start to get creative. You can share your fantasies and explore new sexual territory together. Ask him questions like, "If I were a hooker and you could ask me to do anything for you, what would you ask me to do?" And then, provided that it's not something you're totally uncomfortable with, do it! Stretch your boundaries a little. It can be fun. Hopefully he will return the favor.
2006-10-22 14:31:22 · answer #5 · answered by Hugh Mility 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oops. I answered your second question without seeing this one. I thought the guy who emailed you was the one ranting. But if it's your husband who is ranting, well, since he discovered the pic, no amount of explanation will convince him that it was something innocent. He'll be suspicious.
Maybe you all should just apolgize and call a truce. Then, start up your own internet cyberaffair... you know... send him a sexy email at work or late at night, then invite him to send something racy back. It might work, and at least lead to a few laughs. Kind of like a cyber version of the Pina Colada song. Check out the lyrics if you don't know it.
2006-10-22 14:59:23 · answer #6 · answered by charlie_n_tx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand why he is having a fit. You're doing the same thing he did. You two really need to sit down and talk about what you really want out of your relationship. I would suggest that you see a therapist, and if you already have, it's just not working and you should think about maybe seperating for while until you can figure out if you want to stay married or get a divorce. I wish you luck in trying to figure this out, marraige is a hard thing and you both have to be in it 100% in order for it to work.
2006-10-22 14:04:49 · answer #7 · answered by speedy_me18 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
An affair does not happen in bed, the car, motel, etc. It happens in the head and heart. You told this man you were "not happily married"...that's intimate. I would stop hurting myself and my spouse by seeking counseling or getting out of the marriage.
2006-10-22 14:08:37 · answer #8 · answered by Mike M. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe your husband's fit is provoked by your confiding in a perfect stranger, rather then him. I'd say, NOW would be the perfect time to let him know WHY you're not happily married.
Perhaps he feels the same?
2006-10-22 14:08:32 · answer #9 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you two considered attending marriage counseling together? Sounds like neither one of you are getting your needs met.
2006-10-22 14:03:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was ok for him to do it but not you. It sound like you both need to seek some counseling.
2006-10-22 14:34:37 · answer #11 · answered by Sexy-n-Hot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋