My wifes worthless, nasty sister has just moved in with us. It started with a visit then the #@%!& just stayed it's been a week and she has made no mention of when she is leaving. My wife recently moved her mom into our house since none of her siblings were helping care for their mom who is blind, diabetic, and has had a few surgeries on her foot due to diabeties. So my wife quits her job to take care of her mom. The only one in the house who works is ME. My wifes friend from her childhood and her family stayed at our house against my wishes too. The friend is a H0 who cheated on her husband while he was in Iraq, she even went as far as to tell us her plan if her husband died she'd keep his insurance money and put her step-son up for adoption. Sorry in my mind that is wrong and I didn't want to be bothered by her. I am glad to say her husband made it home safe even if he is a fool for staying with her after learning only a portion of what she did while he was gone.
2006-10-22 06:56:07 · 23 answers · asked by BLADE 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She and her family left but the sister in law and her "BeBe's Kid" are still here. Worse yet my wife has to watch her brat since all she does is sleep except when she convinces a guy she likes to come by. I'm at the point where I feel she needs to go home, and I care less and less each day if my wife gets upset but I know I should care so I am trying to.
2006-10-22 07:00:09 · update #1
The "hit on" sister-in-law wouldn't work it's common knowledge I hate her and I'd sooner hit on a a rabid dog than her. I'm okay with mother-in-law I just don't want the other #%#%^ in my house.
2006-10-22 07:07:57 · update #2
WOW dude! I'd first of all tell the man that was in Iraq what the hoe bag said!
Then it's time to talk to the wife............PUT your foot down.....Your the bread winner here, and the only one now. Tell her the sister nasty piece of doodoo has to go and go NOW, and YOU won't put up with any more friends or family!!
It is right though if you allow mom to stay for awhile. She does need care and love.
Tell the wify IF she can't live by your new rules, then your out of there!!!
2006-10-22 07:01:42 · answer #1 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Wow....you have a lot on your plate; and TOO many "leeches" in your home!
Talk to your wife when no one is around. Be VERY CLEAR about your expectations; in that you want her sister and whomever she drags home OUT of your house ASAP----not when they find a place or save up a little...BUT NOW! You do not owe your sis-in-law any favors.
As far as your mother-in-law, that is a different story and she should be able to receive complete disability through SSI; and that could help off-set some of her expenses, such a groceries.
My husband and I had an adult daughter come home for a visit, then she just sort of moved in on us. We laid the law down quickly, and insisted she move out and take care of herself. We are all grateful that we did this, ...including my daughter.
You sis-in-law might be pissed off initially [and your wife],....but this just may save your marriage,...and prevent you all hating each others guts in the future.
Good luck...
By the way.....if your wife refuses to support you on this....you could find your own place. Drastic,..I know,....but you will sure make a point. Especially when the pay checks cease.
2006-10-22 07:03:09 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
These things are tricky. Try to avoid talking to your wife in anger or when you are frustrated about this issue. Ask her to dinner… just the two of you. After you have started to eat your meal, tell her you want to discuss something that is bothering you. Be very careful… watch your tone of voice and speak a little softer than usual. Allow her to digest what you are saying. Pause… a little at a time. Don’t discuss any of the negative points about the looser sister. You already know she is a looser…. Stay focused on the end goal... which is to get the sister out of the house! Only tell her you think its time for the sister to leave and you feel it is not your place to do this. Pause… see what her feelings are. Listen to her, use body language that says you are listening… shake your head yes, etc. Validate ANY of her concerns. It looks like this “yes honey, I can see where you would be concerned about your sister, you have a good heart.” Then ask for her help again and get her to give you a date when she will ask the sister to move out. Then don’t bug her about it unless she passes the date she has agreed upon. Don’t argue about it… ask her to dinner and start all over again with this method. The main goal is to keep your marriage relationship in tact and to avoid chaos between the two of you. Talk to one of your guy friends… cuss and spit a lot about it :) but stay calm with your wife! If you have tired this two times and the sister is still there… tell your wife again you are unhappy and you want to see a therapist together about it. You choose your wife as a life partner because you love her and want to spend your life with her. So… this is part of the hard part and you will have the opportunity to practice and hone your negotiation skills. This is not Burger King… we don’t always get everything our way. However, anyone reading your post would agree the sister needs to go!! Hang in there… let me know if this works!
2006-10-22 07:12:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Wow! I have a similar situation with my roommate, who is a guy. His girlfriend is a shiftless, lazy piece of trash. She lives with her mom and dad for free, and she's older than I am. She rarely stays with her parents, because she's always over here. But she just spends the night a lot. She never stays all day. It's still annoying. A few times she has gone into the kitchen and cooked food that I bought- without asking. What a rude *****!! She has a job, but she gets to work late every day because she has to have sex late at night or I guess her oxygen will run out. I told him to dump the slut and just buy a blow- up doll. They're a lot easier to clean up after, and you don't have to talk to them Good luck. I'll let you know what I did to get this dumb girl to go to her own freakin' house.
2006-10-22 07:06:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Give her a timetable - say 1 week to contribute to the house or she will have to leave. Make SURE you talk to your wife about it first -- she sounds very soft-hearted, and often taken advantage of. Good luck getting rid of the deadbeat!!
With the added stuff - I really feel for you. You need some one on one with your wife about your feelings. She is really getting used by family. I can understand the Mom - to a point, but as for the rest they need to get out so you and your wife can get on with your life...
2006-10-22 07:00:26 · answer #5 · answered by akelaamy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You and your wife are both in a very bad situation. If there is still love, respect and understanding between you, you two should try to talk honestly and together reach an agreement. Talk to your wife but be loving and full of understanding for her situation (because she is also in a situation), and then explain how it feels for you.
The most important is to talk about your feelings, without accusing her! Ask her for help in finding a solution for both of you. Together for your well being. Show how much you love her, respect her and want to be with her...
Hope it helps! Good luck!
2006-10-22 07:12:34 · answer #6 · answered by jjelenass 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
With most women there family is there life that includes the one before there husbands..talk to your wife about it maybe tell her you really can't afford all these people in the house on what you make. The key is to talk to her about it but keep calm because women will blow up at you when it comes to there family.
2006-10-22 07:00:04 · answer #7 · answered by conundrum_dragon 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's no way you won't have your wife temporally pissed off at you, but, for both of your sakes, you gotta get this woman out of your house NOW!!! Sounds like she and your wife's mother are manipulative users, who have played your wife before, and have her convinced she is to defend them because they are always the ones who are in the right!
This will stress your marriage to the point of serious consequences if you let it fester! No easy or simple way to do it, but, for the sake of your household, GET THIS WOMAN OUT OF YOUR HOUSE NOW!!
2006-10-22 07:00:16 · answer #8 · answered by rhino 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to grow a backbone and kick them all out. You are being taken advantage of. Sounds like your wife doesn't care much about your feelings on things either.
2006-10-22 07:42:09 · answer #9 · answered by sheeny 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i know what you mean i have been there. i said either she leaves or i do. let her make the decision. but if she says go leave even if its just for a day or two. because chances are with her there she will destroy your relationship with your wife anyway. i got to stay and her sister hit the road.
2006-10-22 07:04:56 · answer #10 · answered by warriors 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋