her ex is a crackhead with no car no job and no place to stay. and he wants to see his kids, and his suggestion is for my wife to pick him up and take all of them to mcdonalds for a while. i trust her and i know he is helpless for a ride and his own place to spend time with the kids, but something just doesnt sit right with me going to work and my wife and kids and her ex going out to eat together.
2006-10-22 06:46:58 · 15 answers · asked by jcmikemoni 1 in Science & Mathematics ➔ Other - Science
I totally agree with you
talk to a court adviser and see if you can get someone from the courts to supervise this whole thing because of just maybe something could happen with this guy..being on what he is on, it could change him thought pattern and make him do something everyone could be sorry for, for a long time
or just say NO! if he wants this then he and you do it when I can bring you and the kids to McDonald's and he meets us there...he gets around on his own all week long..so he can get to a McDonald's on his own an NOT ever on my or your car..period..
this may be the best way to do it....and so what if you give him a free meal..it is much better than letting him in any of your cars alone with your wife and kids....and maybe through him bus far back..so your the GOOD guy in all of this..
this is WHAT I would do ! ! !
good luck
2006-10-22 06:53:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have him come too your house when you are home. IF he really wants too see his children as much as he claims he will do this. You know, It's NOT your wife's responsibility too go get him so he can see his kids. It's not a matter of trust, I'm sure you trust your wife. I think if her ex really wants too have any kind of relationship with his kids he would straighten his life up, get off the drugs, get a job and a car.
I'm sure your wife wants the kids too know their dad, but she needs too take a stand on this issue. She does NOT need too go pick him up for any reason. If he wants too see his kids he will find his own ride too your house..when you are home, make sure he understands that.
2006-10-22 07:10:49 · answer #2 · answered by Rose T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he has no job, then I would suggest you suggest to your wife to tell him that no offense or anything but it would just make you feel more comfortable to wait until you got home from work so that you could go along "just in case" you have car trouble or "anything" of the sort.
Or he can wait till you get home and come see the kids at the house where you are in your element and if things get out of control you can make him leave or call the cops.
Good luck.
2006-10-22 06:50:35 · answer #3 · answered by sesamenc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say a crackhead is a crackhead. I would want my wife and stepchildren away from them. Talk to her it's not her job to take care of him anymore. Maybe there's a family member who could let them come to their house and visit. Or get the courts involved you must do something to protect those children since your wife won't, Why did she leave if he still depends on her?
2006-10-22 10:58:47 · answer #4 · answered by revieskid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that is not right to go off to work and the ex is taking over your life over for a couple of hours. The ex should not be depending on you or your wife. Tell your side of the story. Good luck!
2006-10-22 06:56:50 · answer #5 · answered by Patches 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you got involved with your wife, you knew she had children from her previous marriage, which means that she will have to have lifelong communication with their father. You have to keep in mind that she is probably dreading this more than YOU are!
I understand your not LIKING it, but you just gotta suck it up...I understand cause I have been there too, but remember this, she will once again see him for the total piece of crap he decided to become, but the kids should not be denied seeing their father. Just be there for them when the visits are over, the kids in time will start seeing their father in an unfavorable light, and they will still need a positive male role model in their lives...be strong, it will work out for you, and dont worry yourself. If you start introducing jealousies and worries into your relationship its going to be a difficult marriage. But if he is dangerous, then hell no.
2006-10-22 07:01:28 · answer #6 · answered by defiant_faint 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, why the heck would your wife let a crackhead around her children?!? That is a major no-no! Despite the crackhead being their father, that's just simply BAD parenting!
2006-10-22 06:55:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since the kids are his, I can see why he NEEDS to see the kids. But does your wife absolutely have to be there too? Or if that is a no no, then maybe you should tag along too. I know I wouldn't feel right about it either if I was in the same boat. Or better yet, motivate him to get his life in order. Don't let him see his kids until he gets his act cleaned up. Ultimatums can be a great motivator. Besides, would you really want your kids around a jobless drug addict?
2006-10-22 06:51:46 · answer #8 · answered by Dana 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He needs to catch the bus and meet them in a public place. Your wife is not responsible for him. Tell your wife that you are uncomfortable with it. Maybe you should wait until you are free from work so you can hang around nearby just in case.
2006-10-22 06:57:20 · answer #9 · answered by DancinDeeva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he could be dangerous if he is a crackhead. You could suggest going along with them, or picking him up yourself and bringing him over to your house,
2006-10-22 06:49:17 · answer #10 · answered by Fool on the Hill 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋