ive been married for 3 years and im in the military but because of my career ive grown away from my wife because of the lack of time we have had together and now when we are together it isnt the same as it used to be, the only reason i havent really called it off is because of my son which is almost 2 and ive only spent about 6 months of that time with him and if i got divorced id definantly rarely see him what should i do
2006-10-22 06:44:35 · 23 answers · asked by dirtysmurf5 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
seek a marriage counselor.
2006-10-22 06:46:53 · answer #1 · answered by black mamba 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Before you do anything concerning a divorce be sure to have a DAD relationship with your son and not just a father one. Be sure he is your *1 priority as whatever happens between you and her is going to effect him the rest of his life. Without his DAD to raise him bad things in the future will definitely happen. Be sure you two have absolutely no chance first. Be it counseling or just agreeing to start over. Both remembering how you came together loving each other enough to make this commitment. Try dating again,I'm sure you romanced her once, you can do it again in the right mind frame. Keep an open mind and give her a chance but let her know where your coming from. Hopefully she'll agree but don't do it just your son. If you two cannot do it fight the good fight as this will be all you will have to stand on in the future, near and far.
2006-10-22 06:55:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
We here at yahoo answers can't tell you the answer to your problem. We can only tell you what we think. In the end you have to decide not us. I think you should VERY CAREFULLY THINK about a divorce. Do you really want to end a 3 year marriage? Are you really not in love anymore? Does you wife knows how you feel?, and if so, does she feel the same way? These are the kind of questions you need to ask yourself. If you do decide to work things out, will leaving the military be an option? My advice to you is at the end of the day the military can feed you. They can't love you and they can't give you a beautiful son that I'm sure you love with all of your being.
2006-10-22 07:04:58 · answer #3 · answered by jessica b 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try marriage counseling. You may be able to work this out. But if not, I feel you should end the marriage. Children of divorced parents can grow up just fine, if the parents can still work together and make the child their number one priority. If you stay in an unhappy marriage, things will only get worse. Then what kind of family model will your son have?
2006-10-22 06:50:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage among other things is about commitment. It is natural to not always be in love with ones partner. If this were the perquisite to staying together many more would have divorced by now.
The important thing is if you are willing to try to work it out. I'd be willing to bet if both of you are you will fall back into and out of love many times before the end of your lives.
Maybe try marriage counseling or focus on the things about your wife you do like. Try to have fun together. Maybe take a trip together.
It really sounds like as you said a matter of time you need to spend more time together in order to bond. Find a way to be together.
If you are in Iraq or something like that it will eventually end. If you are in Germany or Korea have her move to be with you. In essence my solution for you is commitment coupled with time spent together.
2006-10-22 07:00:07 · answer #5 · answered by Love of Truth 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being married while you are in the service is hard. The separation time makes it difficult because the wife has to do everything that an available husband would do and this will make her more independent. Is it that she doesn't need you to do things as much as you'd like, or have you just found someone else. My niece was in this situation, it didn't work out, hubby was gone 10 months out of the year. He never sees his kids anymore. He is in the east and she is in the Midwest, very difficult.
2006-10-22 06:49:37 · answer #6 · answered by kny390 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well staying together just because of your son is the wrong things to do, it's not fair for you or your family. You should really take time to think about this, if you're not happy with your wife then divorce will have to be the answer. As for seing your son, it's hard to say cause I don't know what your situation is but depending on what you and your wife come to discuss about chile care and custody
2006-10-22 06:48:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
In my opinion you were never in Love at all it was just lust and the fire has died out.Or you just want to use that as an excuse to fulfill deep down sick desires that require a couch trip and beyond my experience.I would say your a person that has to have the "feeling all the time or it's over" and that is not anywhere near what commitment is about.I would say get a divorce so He/She can hopefully get a decent life,Yeah,Give the poor Lady a break.Or guy depending on your sexual preference.
2006-10-22 06:52:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought about getting out of the military and finding something closer to home? You may be able to rebuild your marriage.
By the way, a lot of military families go through the same thing for 20 years and stay together.
2006-10-22 06:46:36 · answer #9 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you cold save this relationship if you wanted..of course it isn't the same as i used to be life happens whether you are there or not but it can be faxed if that's what you want ..get a counselor or even talk to your wife i am sure she feels the tension too..make time for each other when you are able to be released from the service do so..and find something that will enable you to be better dad and spouse ..if you want it to work it can if you are looking for an easy way out well here it is but soldiers are far from cowards if you can fight for the love of your country ...you can fight for the love of your family ..you just have to believe in what you are doing..
2006-10-22 06:53:49 · answer #10 · answered by Alli 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not being so fare yo your wife. You've not been playing your role as a husband and she didn't complain now you come out with The story of not lobing her again after three years of marriage and not only that thinking of divorcing her but for your son! Please, stick to your wife unless you are alrady in another relationship and you are now using the love thing to cover up. Even your son will not forgive you if you put her away.
2006-10-22 06:52:22 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋