My son is eight. His Dad and I recently got divorced. It has only been six months since we separated. I have custody of our son and my ex sees him every other weekend. I know my son misses his Dad and I tell both of them that if they want to see each other at any time I am okay with it. However, my ex rarely takes me up on the offer. When my son tells me he misses his Dad I encourage him to phone him. But he does not. Also he will not talk to his Dad when he calls. I am trying to understand his behaviour. I know a few times when he has called his Dad he could not get in contact with him. Is he afraid his Dad will not be available? My son will talk to me about how he wants us to give things another try and I do my best to let him down easy. I just wish I knew what was going on inside his little mind. I worry about him. Any suggestions?
2006-10-22 05:59:35 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm sure it's most of the reasons you mention. Please take into consideration his life has been put in turmoil, which he doesnt understand. He wants nothing more than to have his parents back together. And prefers not being put in these awkard situations. Simply continue to shower him with love. Please do not conpensate by giving him 'things' in place of you or his dad's love and attention.
2006-10-22 06:21:19 · answer #1 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At eight years old, sure he misses his dad, only natural. You need to have a heart to heart with his dad, and explain to him how much his son needs him. I do not think you should compromise your beliefs for a divorce however. You are doing it for the right reasons I'm sure. Tell the Dad to spend more time with him, and to call him once in a while. It's the childs' well being that matters here...not yours, nor his! In the meantime, love your son, and always be available to talk. He will be fine! Good Luck!!
2006-10-22 13:09:31 · answer #2 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about this issue, I have been there with this one and my kids were young as well. The best advice i can offer is to keep encouraging your son to keep trying to leave messages for his dad so that he feels like he can do this anytime. I think that they are both hurting so much and that they need to sit down and discuss this between the two of them, talk to ur ex and explain to him that his son is hurt when he can't talk to him. Ask him to be the bigger person and to just talk to his son and feel whatever he needs to feel later. ( dad) Kids are strange because they go through phases where u will be the bad guy for all of this and then dad will be the bad one. It hurts but be strong, and kids will always see in the end what parents do and their reactions. He will learn that his dad loves him still and that he is hurt, but if he continues to ignore him he will form his own opinion of that as well...
2006-10-22 13:06:54 · answer #3 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a divorced dad of a 5 year old daughter. My opinion is that you cannot let your child down easy. He needs to understand that your relationship with his father will not be reconciled. He can't heal until he understands that. Secondly, I would have a very direct conversation with the father expressing your concern. Regardless of your feelings for your ex, you need to express to him that his son needs him. I really don't understand the "every other weekend" arrangements that seem so normal these days. Does he live in another city?
2006-10-22 13:18:42 · answer #4 · answered by Jon M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most kids think it is somehow their falt that their parents are split up. Try talking to your x about trying to spend more time with him.He needs his Dad.
2006-10-22 13:06:39 · answer #5 · answered by Belinda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yah i'de make it clear you and your X love him,and always will ! kids dont really understand whats going on when they're parents split up, But like i said let him know you two will always be there for him! and ask him to tell you whats on his mind
2006-10-22 13:04:19 · answer #6 · answered by rpoker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pls try to show him his dad face to face
2006-10-22 13:05:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋