Do you miss him/her all the time? I used to go out with him on the road all the time until I decided I wanted to finish college. So now I'm at home working on my CJ degree and missing him so much. I've tried to study in the truck but there's to many distractions. When he comes home after a month he stays for a few days but then when he gets ready to leave I cry. He's my whole world. I'm not insecure about him, not afraid he'll cheat. I just have a very tight bond with him for a long time now. My fiancé is always on my mind, there's not a minute that goes by that I don't think about him. I worry if I'll ever see him alive again. It's a terrible gut feeling and just don't know what to do about it. If anything ever happened to him I'd come unglued! Am I letting my emotions get the best of me? I have depression, do you think it could be getting worse? He's leaving out 2morrow & won't be back until Nov 22. How can I hide my feelings so he won't see me cry & get upset b/c I am? Any advice?
2006-10-22 05:36:45 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Linda, yes I am married to an o.t.r.truck driver. I know exactly how you feel and believe me it never gets any easier. His CB handle is Rolo (see my nickname on here) and we have been married for 19 yrs., over 10 of which he has been driving a truck. I miss him just as much now as when he first started and the constant worry never ends. I also used to go in the truck with him in the summers and we would take the kids too, until the insurance changed and passengers had to be 18. Now the kids can't go so neither do I. We loved that time we got to spend with him and it was like a vacation for us even though he was still working. The money is good, but I would gladly give it up just to have more quality time with him and him more quality time with the kids. They are 17 & 14 now and he can't be here for all their activities and accomplishments. I hate that for them. They try to understand, but I know it hurts them when he can't be there. I still cry almost every time he leaves and just wait until something goes wrong and he can't make it home for Christmas or a kids birthday or your anniversary. Been there and done that too! I worry myself sick when he doesn't call on schedule for fear something horrible has happened to him and even when he calls before he says he will because I fear he has had an accident or a major breakdown in the truck. These feelings are ever present and will always consume me as long as he is a driver. The only thing I can really do is love him and support him, because I know he does all of this for us. The one bright side of all this is that our marriage is extremely strong because we miss each other so much when he's gone that we appreciate and savor every moment that we have together when he's home. It is absolutely true what they say about absence making the heart grow fonder. I know this is kind of long and I have been rambling on and on. I'm sorry if I couldn't put a more positive spin on things for you. I just wanted you to know that I completely understand and you are not alone.
Good Luck, God Bless and stay strong!!!
2006-10-22 06:49:57 · answer #1 · answered by F-1 says KISS IT! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this situation is only going to last until you finish your studies then it is best you grin and bear it. However if you only get a couple of days per month together that is not much of a life.
If after you finish college you intend to accompany him on the road, all well and good, but for the rest of your life?
Maybe you could discuss a career change with him, or even trucking jobs which don't keep you parted for such long periods.
2006-10-22 05:41:49 · answer #2 · answered by steven b 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's really tough! I've been there too. Over the summer my son and I go with him, but when school starts we must stay home. I too, trust him and hate being away from him. Lucky for me, I was able to talk him into finding a job that allowed him to be home more. He didn't like being away from us either, so it wasn't very hard. It just wasn't worth the extra money, with the emotional turmoil it was putting us all through! I'm just back to clipping coupons again, and I don't go shopping as much as I used to, but the pay off is having him home!
2006-10-22 05:45:15 · answer #3 · answered by rebecca_sld 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, I know how you feel. I am a truckers daughter and seen my mom go through this all her married life. It is a tough life to live, having to wait for them to come home. Never knowing when the next phone call is, or where they are. The missing part never stops. My mom had to make a life for herself when dad is away. And when he returns her whole life is his. She hides the tears, and the remorse for his job. She just sticks by him, and thanks him for the bread and butter he puts on the table for them.
You really need to get busy, and just get excited about your own life while he is gone on the road. Don't always look for that accident, and turn of the tv if there is one near him.
The life of a truckers wife is a hard lonley road to pull, is there truckers wives support groups you can attend? They really do help.
2006-10-22 05:50:34 · answer #4 · answered by bocababe27 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ahh...the life of a road widow.I have driven trucks for 20 years. It definately is the reason I'm divorced. Obviously I don't know where you live, but try talking to him about getting a local or regional gig. I haven't been outside the Houston city limits in 4 years and don't miss it a bit. Otherwise. Unless you are going to learn to drive so you can go with him and get paid, There isn't alot you can do.
2006-10-22 05:45:17 · answer #5 · answered by Psycomagnet 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was married to an OTR trucker and I missed him terribly too. It seemed like everytime he was home, I was scheduled to work so we didn't get to spend much time together.
I am happy to hear that you want to continue your education. Try to spend as much time with him while he is home and then get involved with your studies while he is away. If you can keep your mind occupied and activities happening while he is away, the time seems to go faster.
Just remember that when you are through with school, you will have much more time to be with him.
Good luck.
2006-10-22 05:59:21 · answer #6 · answered by Linda L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, see your doctor for depression medicine.Secondly, find some hobbies that will occupy you for the time being. It will make time go by faster. get involved in volunteer work, or taking classes that interest you like dance classes.
2006-10-22 05:44:44 · answer #7 · answered by conniesmiles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have that problem with a workaholic. He goes 24/7, I hardly see him. So I found activities to keep me busy, it helps some.
2006-10-22 05:41:32 · answer #8 · answered by dolittle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having and OTR spouse is one of the hardest things to deal with. If you think you are developing depression please go to a doctor. If I were you I would have a talk with your hubby/b/f and tell him how you are feeling. Dont keep it bottled up because that will make it worse. Best of luck to you.
2006-10-22 05:41:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i take advantage of to tension an OTR tractor trailer. you are able to take a passenger, although, you like written permission out of your enterprise pointing out that they are conscious of the passenger for coverage motives or you will receive an exceptional from the DOT. the comparable rule applies to pets too.
2016-10-02 13:44:01 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋