She follows me wherever I go she pulls me out of line so I could be with her she pulls me away from my other friends how can I tell her to stop without hurting her feelings?remember she is 'disabled' and I will feel bad if I hurt her feelings
2006-10-22 04:43:23 · 24 answers · asked by peacejump 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Sounds like you've gotten a lot of good advice so far. I want to add my well wishes and say that you are a good person for being so kind to this other young woman. As someone else stated, people with disabilities are often times the target of others cruelty. It isn't often that the world runs into some one like you. I am sure this young woman sees how incredible you are and she wants to be around you every chance she can. Who would want to lose a friend like you?
I suggest not leaving your other friends, but including her with them. When you are in line and she wants you to get out maybe you could say, I am going to stay here, but you can join us if you like. This way you are stating what you want, and still leaving her with the option to be with you. She may also enjoy the company of your other friends as well.
I don't know how how old you are or how many years you have left of school, but my guess is, given time this situation will fade. One of you will some how, some way move on. When you look back at this you will see how short of a time it really was in the scheme of things. I hope that when you do look back you can smile and be proud of yourself for being so kind to a fellow human being that needed a little extra love in her life.
Again good luck to you and may God bless you.
2006-10-22 05:08:07 · answer #1 · answered by M C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A girl did this to me when I was in junior high school. Everytime I saw her, I turned around. If she followed me, I walked real fast. I didn't eat lunch for a whole week, just so I wouldn't see her in the cafeteria. Then one time she followed me into the bathroom during lunch time and I spent the whole hour in the stall. Eventually, she got the hint and left me alone.
Regardless of which method you choose, her feelings will be hurt because she'll understand that you don't want to hang out with her and she may think it's because she's disabled.
If you could hang out with her, even just a little bit, maybe after school or something, she would be over the moon. Right now she probably feels more popular or accepted than she has ever felt in her life.
2006-10-22 12:55:41 · answer #2 · answered by Butterfly Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're very nice to deal with her this way. Yours is the curse of nice people. You should be firm but not rude just say no I don't want to go with you right now, I was already doing something else, I need to do this right now. Also tell her it is rude to pull on some one or demand their attention when they are with a group of people. Being disabled is not an excuse for being rude.
Actually you are doing her a favor. She will be more likely to find real friends if she knows how to act around people. Better a nice person tell her in a nice way than for her to be mistreated by others later.
2006-10-22 11:45:37 · answer #3 · answered by tenaciousd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then DON'T! Does she embarrass you? For some reason, you seem awkward about even using the word disabled. If you really like her, then disabled doesn't have a thing to do with it! You say she pulls you away from your "other" friends, meaning you think of her as a friend also. Is it that your other friends don't want to be seen with her? That's kinda petty if you think about it. Just remember this...To the world, you are but one person...but to one person, you may be the world! How special does that make you? Follow your heart sweetie, cause it sounds like you DO have one!
2006-10-22 11:56:37 · answer #4 · answered by rebecca_sld 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's attatched herself to you because you have been nice when others haven't. Don't stop being nice, but take her aside so no one else hears and she won't be embarrassed, and tell her that she's been acting "clingy" and it's making you uncomfortable, and you would like more space. Tell her you will contact her when you want to spend time with her. Tell her if she does not respect your wishes and back off a bit, that you will need to put an end to the friendship. She needs to understand you like her, but her behavior is over the limit Good Luck.
2006-10-22 12:13:02 · answer #5 · answered by Squirrley Temple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're feeling guilty because she's disabled. Be honest with her and tell her which actions are bothering you. If she plays the disability card then she's not accepting responsibility for her own life - regardless of her disability (I'm assuming her disability is not intellectual or emotional, in which case she may not understand why it's wrong to do the things she's doing). Either way, her disability is not your fault and you shouldn't have to (and she shouldn't make you) pay for it.
2006-10-22 11:49:51 · answer #6 · answered by ricktheirish1967 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure how to handle this...it is a bit tricky and she might be a little sensitive. Perhaps she does not have any friends...and she really admires and likes you. If you like the girl maybe you could invite her to hang out with you and your friends, or next time she tries to pull you away, tell her Im hanging out with them today but you are welcome to join us. If you don't like her...well are your reasons good...I mean do you know enough about her to decide that yet? Good luck!
2006-10-22 11:48:34 · answer #7 · answered by itz_sns 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was looking for a good friend and has found u. Just give her an assurance that you are there whenever she needs you. She will stop following u soon. She was without u before and she can manage herself now.
2006-10-22 11:48:17 · answer #8 · answered by Spheris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to your school guidance office or counselor explain to her that you want to be nice to her and shes a good person but she is invading your space she never lets you be with other friends ..they will know how to deal with her without making her hurt or thinking you don't like her..i applaud you for caring there are alot of school kids who just see these special people as an easy target to make fun of..keep an open heart and you will go far in this world good luck
2006-10-22 11:47:42 · answer #9 · answered by Alli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Disability is no excuse for bad manners. SOunds like she really admires you. Try finding her some other friends she can relate to. This will benefit you both
2006-10-22 11:53:18 · answer #10 · answered by conniesmiles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋