after 5 years of non-existence, suddenly she called out of nothing and start emailing and chat with me. She's single again now, after having divorced for the 3rd times. What could this mean? I try to respect her, I don't want to hurt her feeling, but I m afraid I don't want her to get involved again with my life. What should I do?
2006-10-22 04:25:56 · 38 answers · asked by waterpure2000 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think that some people are uncomfortable being alone. She is calling you because she knows you will be there on some level. I wouldn't start another relationship with her. And unless you don't mind helping her, then I would steer clear of her unless there are issues that must be dealt with because of children. She had her chance when you were married to her and for whatever reason it didn't work so now it is time for both people to move on with life and also to learn from prior mistakes.
The funny thing is that I am in a similar situation so I am living this as you are. I sent a question and received many good responses. When you have fond memories of someone who was a significant part of your life, sometimes we forget the negative memories. Maybe that is how it should be but never to the point where we continue to make the same mistakes.
2006-10-22 05:15:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-06 03:00:08 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her why she is contacting you and tell her that you are not interested in her getting involved in your life. You were divorced for a reason. She probably doesn't want to be alone and feels your her safety net. Since your so nice to her she thinks your safe. Try not to be so available. Get off the phone quickly. Tell her you have to call your girlfriend. ( If you really need to lie) I would just ask her nicely not to contact you anymore. Tell her you have moved on with your life and so should she. Good Luck
2006-10-22 04:32:14 · answer #3 · answered by smile4u 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have basically answered your own question. If youre that unsure of her then do nothing at all. After 3 divorces it sounds like this girl has no idea what she wants and that makes her bad news. You really dont need her so dont get re-involoved with her. Just tell her you have a new life without her and plan to keep it that way
2006-10-22 04:31:49 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her straight up that you don't want to get involved with her again. Honesty is your best bet now. If you let her "think" something could become of this relationship again, then she will continue to contact you. So best to be honest if you don't want her in your life again. You can tell her without hurting her feelings. Just use kind words.
2006-10-22 04:36:50 · answer #5 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a decent guy, and she's probably well aware of that. Try telling her exactly what you've said in your question and leave her to get on with finding husband number 4 - don't get caught up in silly games, you've managed without her for 5 years.
2006-10-22 04:29:50 · answer #6 · answered by f0xymoron 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
be honest and ask her straight out what her intentions are. Sounds to me that she's just calling on you because there is no other man in her life at the moment. Also be honest with her and let her know you have no desire to develop the relationship again, and wish her well.
2006-10-22 04:29:31 · answer #7 · answered by mixemup 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with her about your feelings towards her.But don't assume she's trying to get involved again. It may be that she realised she burned bridges that weren't necessary and is simply trying to repair damage done. Life is too short to harbor ill feelings,and this could be behind her now. But be cautious!
2006-10-22 04:35:55 · answer #8 · answered by Rhea B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next on Jerry Springer! 3 times divorced. Come on now...
2006-10-22 04:27:56 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
offer her a choice
either
a nice friendship with no sex
or
lots of sex without any commitment
there is no reason for you to avoid her completely as long as you have the strength to avoid letting her take over your life.
it could get bumpy though, because at the moment you don't know her motive. She could be feeling lonely and uncertain, or it could be that she thinks you're a convenient stepping stone.
2006-10-22 04:41:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋